Text/He Yu Si
Jia Pingwa There is a passage in " Free and lonely ":
"Living alone is actually just a matter of one person. When happiness comes, the happiest thing is yourself, when suffering comes, the most painful thing is yourself."
Life is often a lonely journey of a person. From the beginning of his birth, after experiencing the warmth and coldness of human feelings, he will leave this world alone.
people are old and realize that nothing may remain unchanged. Relatives, friends, and partners, everyone may leave us. Children have their own things to be busy with, and often in the end, they can only love themselves. This is the case with the old lady Sheng in " Knows ".
When old lady Sheng was young, she was hurt by love and was incompatible with Mr. Sheng. After her biological son was plotted to die, the two turned against each other and became enemies. After the old lady passed away, she supported the Sheng Mansion alone at a young age.
The old lady is not Sheng Hong's biological mother. Everything about Sheng Hong is given by the old lady now. He is grateful, but more often, Sheng Hong seeks benefits. When there is something to do, go to the old lady, and when there is no benefit, the old lady becomes a stumbling block.
, it is just because of human nature. The people we are closest to are not them, but ourselves.
1. The partner is not that reliable
The partner is still there, and it is good to be able to rely on each other for the second half of his life. However, things often go against your expectations.
Some couples get along in harmony, their marriages are in name only, and even if they live together, they are all in their own way, but they are not separated for some reason. For couples like
, don’t expect each other to shelter you from the wind and rain. It is very likely that the wind and rain you encounter are brought by each other.
When old lady Sheng was young, love was supreme and fell in love with Tanhualang. She didn't care about marrying him. However, Tanhualang was a passionate person, and not long after, there were other women.
The old lady has a strong personality and cannot tolerate those women. Until her biological son died in the house fight, she almost went crazy.
Unexpectedly, Tanhualang became ill. The old lady was unwilling to remarry and raised her concubine's son Sheng Hong alone, helped him hire a wife and have children, and then handed the Sheng Mansion to him to escape.
Over the years, the old lady has spent most of her life in the back house, and she has lived a not happy at all.
In reality, if you have such a husband, you still have room for choice, so you won’t spend the rest of your life.
But there are couples who have bad relationships and constant conflicts until they get old. When you were young, you could only use each other and you could not count on it. When everyone got old, you would never expect it. You are the only one who can rely on.
If the relationship is good, there is another possibility: one of the two people will leave first, after all, birth, old age, sickness and death are inevitable.
At this time, no matter who is left behind, you have to adapt to the life of a person. If you have strong dependence, you may even have a problem with your daily life. It is better to make plans early and rely on yourself.
When people are old, their wife may not be the closest person. If the marriage foundation is not solid, it will often happen if you fly away when the disaster is coming; if your relationship becomes colder and you will no longer have any fantasies about your partner; if your relationship is very good, but the other party leaves first, you will also find that you can't rely on it even if you want to rely on it.
, and said that you have less expectations and leave more retreats for yourself so that you will not be embarrassed in your old age.
2. Children have their own needs to consider
Some people may think that if a partner is unreliable, then the children should be reliable, but in fact it is not necessarily true.
Old Mrs. Sheng is really heart-wrenching about Sheng Hong, but she didn't expect that Sheng Hong was an ungrateful wolf. No matter how good his skills were, it could not hide the fact that he did not take the old lady seriously.
He married the girl he raised by the old lady as his aunt, which caused the relationship between mother and son, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law to become tense, and then indulged Aunt Lin and Wang to disrespect the old lady.
The old lady's sincerity never warmed up the heart of this concubine's son, so she simply stayed away and lived a hard life in Shou'antang.
Sheng Hong’s feelings for the old lady are very complicated. The feelings are open and interests are mixed in the feelings, so he will mix with the old lady after being poisoned.
This kind of "family affection" that only maintains on the surface, even biological mother and son will exist. Once the issues of feelings and interests are not handled properly, conflicts will arise in the parent-child relationship.
There are many examples of not supporting parents in society, and some people go to court.
There is another situation where children are very filial, but they have their own things to be busy with, and the pressure they bear is not small.
Although their children are filial to their parents, they will start their own families when they grow up and live a life of old and young, like walking on thin ice, especially when their parents are sick, they are often powerless.
Many times, children do not care about it but may not care about it. Maybe they have more times and parents will complain in their hearts.
But on the other hand, when children are under great pressure, responsible parents will consciously not cause trouble for them.
Nicethet said: "If you want to go to a high place, you must use your own legs. Don't let others lift you to a high place, don't sit on other people's backs and heads."
Children are not life-saving straws. No matter who they are, no matter how old they are, they must always be responsible for their lives.
3. Be kind to yourself
When people are old, the happiest way to live is to rely on themselves in everything and be good to themselves.
No matter what kind of partner and children you meet, not only will you live in moderation, but you will also have a good life.
First of all, pay attention to your own health.
starts from now on, pay attention to your health. When I was young, I didn’t think that staying up late was the norm. When people get old, I realized that the body is the most important thing.
The body is the capital of the revolution. If the body collapses, you can’t do anything else. No matter how many ideas you have, you will be powerless.
Only when you are in good health will you suffer less and lose less when you are old.
"No filial son in front of the bed for a long time" is far more cruel than you think.
Secondly, correct your life mentality and let go of what you should let go.
Old Mrs. Sheng saw Xiao Minglan's prayer in front of the Buddha and planned to keep her under her knees. Minglan is also a grateful person, and her good deeds to her grandmother is obvious.
is much better than Sheng Hong. Especially after the old lady was poisoned, she figured it out and lived a comfortable life with Changbai .
Finally, in your spare time, you might as well leave more space for yourself to fill your spirit with a certain amount of energy.
When you get old, you mainly live a comfortable life and don’t cause trouble for others. With spiritual pursuits, you will not focus on your children and disturb their own small family.
People are old, their partners may be unreliable, or they may be ahead, and their children also have their own things to do.
Instead of thinking about relying on others in everything, it is better to leave a way out for yourself and rely on yourself.
After all, it is your own life, and you must firmly grasp it in your own hands.
-END-
(all of the above pictures are from Photo Network)
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