I don’t like to visit other people’s homes, and I hate others’ visiting them. The feeling of
has appeared when I was very young.
Until now, I started a family and had my own children, and still couldn't stand the messy family atmosphere.
I think that visiting someone else's house is a kind of disturbance to others; even if others invite me warmly, I feel uncomfortable and feel uncomfortable in my master's house. When I find an opportunity, I want to escape.
And others came to my house as a guest. Except for close relatives and a few close friends, I don’t want them to come.
would rather invite them to the office for tea and chat than to "invite them home".
I think being a guest is a kind of disturbance for each other and may also turn into a "disaster".
Why does it turn into a disaster when a guest comes to his home?
This reminded me of an experience.
I went back to my hometown and lived in my parents' house for a while.
camera, several books sent by others, and a suitcase.
When I was out, a guest came to my parents' house.
Then, the guest also brought 2 "naughty kids".
is polite, uneducated, and naughty.
broke my camera without my permission, tearing the few books I brought to pieces.
loss is nothing, but their behavior makes me very angry.
In theory, if a child makes a mistake, shouldn’t parents apologize for the child?
Even if you do not ask for compensation, at least you must express your apology.
What's more, I'm not familiar with you, a relative who is not close to you, has not been in contact for many years, and when I say I come to visit my home, I suddenly come to my house.
This feeling is like: being forced to receive guests.
Think from the perspective of others:
Even if I take my child to visit someone else's house, I will never let my child touch the owner's things at will. Even if I have permission, I can only do it without being able to fiddle with it.
This is the most basic respect for others.
polite words will be said by anyone, but you should also observe the owner's emotions and expressions to see if they really want you to visit or fiddle with it.
I love books, so I don’t like others to go to my study and just flip through it;
Some people love fishing, and they don’t want to be disturbed when fishing;
Some people love to play games, and they don’t want strangers to visit their game rooms.
These are the same.
Respect and understanding are the politeness we should be to others.
There is a question on Zhihu: "Why are people nowadays increasingly dislike visiting relatives and don't like others to visit their homes?"
There is an answer that impressed me.
A netizen said:
Their family of three lives in a room of 60 square meters.
One bedroom and one living room, my wife and daughter live in the room, and he sleeps on the sofa in the living room.
It’s like this. The family has been persisting for many years and plans to wait for their daughter to grow up and save money at home to change to a bigger house.
And the thing that their family fears the most is that others say they want to visit his house. As a small space as
, the three of them lived in narrow and crowded; no matter how many guests came, they couldn't sit in the living room.
In fact, there is a reason why people are increasingly disliked to visit others at home.
1. When others visit, it will make the space crowded and make people feel irritated
For example:
When you live in your hometown in the countryside with a yard, no matter how many guests come to your house, you will not feel crowded or irritated.
people are so lively. If you can’t sit in the room, you can just sit a few tables. Everyone cooks, drinks and chats in the yard.
has high participation. Everyone works together to save time and effort and enhance their relationship.
Nowadays, many people live in communities, their homes are small and their living rooms are also small. When there are many people in
, it will make you feel the pressure of "being offended and being squeezed". The narrow space in
can also easily cause you to become irritable.
2. Don’t like the feeling of being invaded by private space
People who are alone hate others’ disturbances the most;
Like quiet people, don’t like others’ noisy and noisy environments the most.
People who like to stay at home do not like to go out to socialize, and they do not like to go to crowded places.
Similarly, if you live alone for a long time and enjoy the life of several people in a "small family", you hate this stable life being invaded by outsiders.
This reminds me of a reader's message:
He said that he has been working and living in other places for many years, and when he returned home and lived with his parents, he felt a strong sense of discomfort.
On one hand, there is guilt, but on the other hand, there is real psychological and physiological resistance.
In the struggle and contradiction, he became more and more painful. The same is true for the same reason that others don’t like to visit their homes.
The sense of boundary is invaded and will only make you irritated.
3. Guests without a sense of proportion are distressing
is just like the experience I mentioned above.
If the person who comes to your house is rude, flirts with your personal belongings and wanders around every room, you are embarrassed to say something.
They have no sense of proportion, and you can't speak and reject them. In the end, you are the only one who suffers.
There is another situation:
A group of people come to your house to eat and drink, they pat their butts and leave, leaving the house full of chaos.
You have to pack up until late, and the whole day has been wasted.
sense of proportion, applicable in any relationship.
Topic today:
Do you like others to visit your home?
(Article pictures are from the Internet)
