It is said that parents raise their children for a hundred years and are worried for ninety-nine years.
When I was young, I couldn’t bear to eat or wear. I always thought that I would work harder now and that my child’s future path would be easier and smoother.
After retirement, he still manages his children inside and out, and he can do something.
is probably in their hearts. The biggest sadness when they are old is not that their children are unfilial, but that they are afraid that they can no longer give and cannot become the pillar and backer of their children.
So, even if they are old, they will use the wealth they have accumulated throughout their lives to support their children.
is the financial support given to children in the name of love, and sometimes there are huge risks.
When you are old, no matter how much money you have in your hands, don’t give these three kinds of money to your children, otherwise it will really harm them.
Give them the money to repay their debts
Tell a real story.
There is a father and son. My father opened a small factory when he was young and had some savings.
My son is an ordinary office worker. With the help of his father, he bought a house with a loan, got married and had children, and his life was acceptable.
Suddenly one day, the house in my parents' hometown was demolished, and a lot of demolition payment was distributed. The father paid off part of the loan to his son.
After not short of money, my son's mentality began to float and he no longer wanted to work hard from nine to five.
quit his job and asked his father to get 300,000 yuan to learn from others' stock trading, but he soon lost money.
followed by the second and third time. The more he lost, the stronger his desire to turn the tables.
Every time my father helps him pay back the money, but when the money is used up, he can only take out all the house and mortgage it, and borrow money from all over the place to help him pay off the debt.
But his son did not stop because every time his parents helped him pay back the money, he felt that he still had the capital to take another try.
Finally, he also compensated for his parents' demolition house. His wife and children were separated, and he could never go back to his family.
Source: Panoramic Vision
Think carefully, is the reason why their family is going to be broken?
is not all, what really leads to this tragedy is that parents protect their children again and again.
As a parent, children always want to help with their difficulties. No matter what the child does, parents will help solve it later.
Even if the child is in debt outside, parents will try their best to pay it back for them. What's more, even though they know that their parents have limited abilities, they still force their parents to pay off their debts for them.
The result is that with the help of your best efforts again and again, the child cannot feel the pressure of debt and enjoys the efforts of his parents with peace of mind.
But no one can protect children for the rest of their lives. Children always have to face the bumps and ups and downs of society alone.
Parents can guide, help, and give their children life advice, but they cannot take care of everything.
If your children want to truly adapt to society, parents must learn to be cruel and return the responsibilities to their children, so that they can understand the hardships of paying back their own debts, so that they can remember.
people can't help but persuade people; but it's enough to teach people at once.
Money to give them pleasure
Many parents seem to have a traditional concept that after they have suffered enough of life, they can't bear to see their children suffer too.
Even if the children are already capable adults, they will try their best to satisfy whatever they want.
I read a news that a couple of parents in Jiangsu have high expectations for their son since childhood. When they grew up, they emptied their family background and let their son study abroad.
But unexpectedly, after his son returned to China, he kept not looking for a job, and tried every means to ask the old couple for money on the grounds of taking the civil service exam and starting a business.
But I turned around and went to major bars and shopping malls to spend time and go out to party and drink with friends.
The old couple was very miserable, but they couldn't resist their son's clever tongue and let him ask for it again and again.
In the end, the old couple was forced to not dare to rest when they reached the age of retirement, and continued to find a job to support their son with difficulty.
But is this a manifestation of loving children?
I don't think so.
If parents always give without any bottom line, their children will never learn to be grateful, nor will they learn to care for their parents, and may even become chilling ungrateful wolves.
Source: Panoramic Vision
Still remember the "Zigong man killing his mother and scam insurance" case that caused a sensation across the country in the past few years.
A man named Fu Bailian killed his mother who had worked hard to raise him.
Fu's mother's life is ups and downs, and she grows up alone while pulling her two sons.
The one she loves the most is this young son. He always tries his best to meet his requirements and buys a house for him in his hometown.
But Fu Bailian was not satisfied and fell in love with a house in Guangzhou. He also knew that Fu's mother could no longer afford much money.
So he bought a insurance for his mother and killed her mother in order to buy a house, squeezing her last drop of blood.
Think about how scary it is.
The child is still young and it is understandable to need the care of his parents.
But many parents still give their children all for decades after their children become adults.
seems to be supporting their children, but in fact, they are to indulge their desires to continue to expand until they become an abyss that cannot be filled.
Family education instructor Zheng Qijuan once said:
"Many parents take care of everything about their children. The original intention is to give the children the best care, but it hinders the normal psychological and ability development of their children."
We all love our children very much, but love does not treat children as rich second generations to support them.
In this era of materialism, letting children have the ability to support themselves is the best gift that all parents can give their children.
The money to support their families
It is the current situation of many families to ask the elderly to help take care of their children after retirement.
As long as the child knows how to be grateful and the elderly have financial strength, it is a lucky and happy thing for the whole family.
However, many young people regard their parents as walking ATMs, and their family expenses and food and drink expenses are all paid.
I have seen an old man’s self-report before.
She is a retired teacher. Her wife died in a car accident very early. She worked hard alone to pull her son up.
Finally waited until her son got married and started a business, but she felt that she owed her son too much without a father.
So after the daughter-in-law gave birth to her child, she subsidized her monthly pension to her son's small family.
She paid for money from home to buy electrical appliances and cars, as well as her grandson's milk powder, diapers, clothes, etc.
I originally wanted to support their small family, but I didn’t expect that my son was used to someone giving living expenses every month.
Whenever the family needs money, they will reach out to her to ask for it. On several occasions, the son actually called her to urge her.
The elderly feel very distressed. Fortunately, they still have some money to save money to maintain their daily life. What should they do if they can retire later?
Source: Panoramic Vision
I can understand that parents care about their children and are afraid that they will not live well, so sometimes it is normal for them to subsidize their children's small family.
But if you always give without asking for anything, it will not only harm the child, but also deceive yourself.
often hear a saying: "Children and grandchildren have their own blessings, don't be a horse and a cow for their children and grandchildren."
You can care about money, but you must have a bottom line.
For children, parents are determined and let go of their hands, so that they can fully assume their responsibilities and have the ability to resist the wind and rain as soon as possible.
For parents, keep some savings on themselves and be able to take good care of themselves without becoming anyone's burden. Isn't this also reducing the burden on their children?
I heard an old saying:
If a son is stronger than me, what is the use of money? If he is virtuous and rich, he will lose his ambition;
If he is not as good as me, what is the use of money? If he is stupid and rich, he will increase his mistakes.
Every generation has the mission of each generation, and every generation has the responsibility of each generation.
As parents, if financial conditions allow, they can help their children appropriately and be their most solid backing.
But don’t forget, you and I will always be just ferrymen in the lives of children.
There are many ways for parents to love their children.
But let them learn to be independent and strong, learn to adapt to society, and live as a beam of light for themselves. This is the most precious wealth that parents should pass to their children. No one can take away.
and everyone encourage you.
