Around us, a person is often given too many expectations from the beginning of being sensible.
In order to realize these expectations, people are busy struggling, struggling, chasing, and doing useful things, making friends with useful people, and not daring to waste half of their time.
has been so busy for most of his life, but suddenly I found that I seemed to have gotten a lot, and even pleased the whole world, but there was not much happiness.
Because we pursue "useful" things too much and ignore those "useless" beauty.
In a person's life, not everything is meaningful, but precisely those things that have no meaning and uselessness bring us the most surprises.
Maugham said in "The Moon and Sixpence": "The world is long and fleeting, some people see the dust, and some people see the stars."
A person knows how to enjoy the "useless" beauty, the more he can meet the stars and the sea.
01
Do something useless
When you go for a walk in the park at night, you can always meet a few middle-aged people playing saxophone by the lake.
From summer to autumn, I finally heard them play a complete song.
At that moment, I was actually secretly happy for them.
At this time, two aunts passed by, one of them seemed to know the person who played saxophone and said, "I earned so few thousand yuan a month, lived a tight life, and I still fiddled with these foreign things all day long. I don't know what they thought."
suddenly remembered a sentence that Chen Daoming said:
"Now the whole society has 'useful obsessive-compulsive disorder', and advocates that everything is based on 'useful' as the yardstick, learn it if it is useful, and abandon it if it is useless... So society has become more and more utilitarian, and people's hearts have become more and more impetuous."
Yes, under the influence of universal success theory, too many people pursue materialized happiness with fame and fortune as their only goal.
For a better position and more wealth, they are in a dilemma between gains and losses, swallow their anger between honor and disgrace, and compromise in the face of the powerful and powerful...
But no matter how much such people have, they may not feel happy.
There is a classmate who worked hard in the system for many years and sat in a position that countless people envied, responding to it with one call.
However, when he talked at the party, he said that he was busy every day, but no matter how tired he was, he always had insomnia at night. He was once at the level that he could not relieve his medication, which was particularly painful.
He said that he was so bitter when he was a child. He wore a leaky cotton jacket in winter. Eating a bowl of noodles is just a birthday, but he could eat enough and sleep, so happy.
I saw a popular question and answer on Zhihu: Why do we have a lot but feel it is even harder?
has an answer that is impressive: because only cares about moving forward in the body, but forgets to wait for the soul.
The more you ask for this world, the more the world will grasp you.
Most of the time people are not defeated by others, but by their own greed.
It is better to slow down and do something useless to completely relax your mind.
Learn a musical instrument, write a few strokes of calligraphy, do a few handicrafts, plant a few pots of flowers and plants, and even take a trip that goes without saying a word...
is useless, so you can be calm.
Liang Shiqiu said: "The highest ideal of mankind should be that everyone can have leisure, and in addition to the necessary work, have leisure to be a human being, and enjoy human life."
In this way, life can become broad and free.
02
Intersection point useless friends
Have you noticed that the older a person is, the fewer friends?
In fact, when we were young, we all called friends and confidants everywhere.
As we grow older, we experience more and more, and finally understand: friends are true and false, and friendship is profound.
When a person is "useful" in the eyes of others, he often has friends everywhere; on the contrary, he will be careless in front of the door.
The ancients have long said: "With profit intersecting, the profit will be dispersed; with power intersecting, the power will be declining; with power intersecting, the power will be abandoned; with righteousness intersecting, the earth will be long and the sky will be long."
The big waves wash away the sand, and when people reach middle age and are still by their side, they are true friends. When Fan Zhongyan was appointed Prime Minister of the Northern Song Dynasty, he angered the court because of his advocacy for reform and was demoted to the remote Yingzhou.
plus the court is pursuing the cliques, and those colleagues and friends who come and go in close contacts are afraid of being avoided and disappearing.
When Fan Zhongyan left Beijing lonely, there was only an official named Wang Zhi who came to see him off.
At that time, Wang Zhi was lying in bed, but he ignored the dissuasion and insisted on coming to see Fan Zhongyan off.
true friend, the emperor is like this: You are successful, I will not cling to you; I am prosperous, you will not be jealous. I don't dislike you if you have nothing; I'm poor and you don't laugh at you.
Fudan Professor Chen Guo said: "Real friends are useless."
is useless, not just useless, but appreciate each other, trust each other, and not be burdened by external things.
html More than 0 years ago, I watched a Korean TV series, in which the friendship between two middle-aged women was particularly touching.
They are high school classmates and have close relationships.
html More than 0 years later, one married into a wealthy family and became a rich wife, and the other married an ordinary employee, worrying about his livelihood all day long.
However, their friendship is consistent.
They will also quarrel and have awkwardness, but they will soon be as reconciled as before.
Some people around the rich wife don’t understand, thinking that being with a poor man is useless to her and her family’s business.
rich wife said: With useful friends, you will see the world clearly, and in useless friends, you will be at ease.
03
Enjoy some useless time
Zhang Ailing Once wrote in an article that when she was in the middle of the night, she listened to the sound of rose petals falling on the desktop:
At first, it was a tentative "pop", like a drop of rain hitting the desktop. Immediately afterwards, amid the sound of "slap" coming, countless butterflies that were shot fell from high altitude.
And she herself, "the whole person was hung in the air by the sound of flowers falling, with her sharp ears, and she was shocked..."
When I read this passage, I was amazed.
Imagine her thrilling beauty in the quiet night.
In life, how long has it been since we calmed down and enjoyed such a moment: waiting for a flower to bloom, watching a group of swallows come, and watching a white cloud float by...
made an appointment with a friend to go to the movie at night. She said, "I am so busy that I can hit the back of my head every day, so how can I have that free time."
Life is endless. If you always think about waiting for the busyness, and then having your spare time, and then enjoying the "useless" life, it may be a little late.
Many times, the reason why we live unhappy is because we are always busy doing useful things and are eager to see the results.
Read a book and expects to become profound;
runs for a few days, hoping that your weight will drop;
makes some results, and fantasizes about getting promoted and getting a raise immediately...
If these presets are not realized, they will complain about the world and fall into anxiety.
Modern people are fast-paced and under great pressure, but they should actually slow down and allow themselves to waste their time.
Writer Ma De said: "Waste is not waste, it is a confrontation and reconciliation of tight days."
Chen Daoming is the chairman of the China Film Association and often starred in film and television dramas. His work is busier than ordinary people.
However, except for work, he rarely attends various parties and social events, and would rather hide at home and waste his time: cut clothes for his daughter; sew leather bags for his wife; draw a few landscape paintings...
He once described the scene of his wife at home: sitting under the window, she embroidered her flowers and plants, I cut my leather bag, the fallen leaves outside the window were silent, and the time in the house was quiet.
such times softens the years and enriches life.
Just like Zhang Chao of the Qing Dynasty What is said in "The Dream of Dreams":
"No one is happy to be idle, it is not just about doing nothing. If you are idle, you can read, you can visit famous places, you can make good friends, you can drink, and you can write books. Which is more joy in the world?"
04
Zhou Zuoren says Passed: "In addition to the necessary things for daily use, we must have a little useless game and enjoyment, so that life can feel interesting."
reduces unnecessary busyness, do some useless things, and cultivate one's character;
set aside the relationship between fame and wealth, make some useless friends, and soothe the soul;
stops in a hurry, allowing oneself to waste time and enrich the years.
When you calm down and slow down, the beauty of this world will slowly open like a curtain, interpreting infinite charm for you. (end)
