The gap between people is often widened by maturity.
Writer Ba Jin wrote this sentence:
"Childish eyes often cannot see clearly. The bird spreads its wings and flies to the sky with fervent hope, but suddenly hits the barbed wire and falls."
Not mature enough. People often look at the world from a naive perspective. In this naivety, they may miss opportunities one after another and lose one hope after another.
Just like many college students who have just entered the workplace, if they are slightly criticized by their boss, they will feel that the other party does not care about their face and will immediately refute.
On the contrary, those old employees who have been in the workplace for many years know how to compromise in everything and tolerate it as long as they can.
Some people say that this is because old employees have a lot of pressure in life and have to swallow their anger; some people say that this is because old employees have become accustomed to being scolded, so they don’t care so much.
In fact, the reason why the two were different before was not necessarily due to the pressure of life, but often related to maturity.
Only when a mature person knows how to take responsibility can he know what should be done and what should not be done. Only when a mature person understands that face is not given by others, but earned by oneself, can one know that ability is more important than spirit. The level is more important.
It is because of this that there is bound to be a gap between a mature person and an immature person.
These gaps can widen the distance between them in life.
In real life, it is not difficult to tell whether a person is mature, because these are the "shortcomings" that a truly mature person will not have.
A truly mature person has already given up his arrogance.
I like it very much A sentence from " Three Body ": "Weakness and ignorance are not obstacles to survival, arrogance is."
Whether it is a weak person or an ignorant person, as long as they can be aware of their own shortcomings, they will There is room for improvement.
At least a person who knows that he is weak will protect himself, and a person who knows that he is ignorant will improve himself.
But that arrogant man is different.
Arrogance, to put it bluntly, stems from a person's deep sense of superiority.
Only when a person feels good about himself, this sense of superiority will emerge from his heart, making him feel that others are inferior to himself.
When a person has such an idea, they will be very satisfied with their current status, and even think that they do not need to improve, and they cannot listen to other people's advice.
However, the sense of superiority is always relative. Sometimes the reason why a person has a sense of superiority is because they have been comparing themselves with the wrong people.
Just like some people with a monthly salary of 5,000 yuan, when they see many people around them who are not as good as themselves, they always have a certain sense of superiority, but they forget that there are many people with higher wages and higher positions than them.
If a person only lives in his own world and only sees the world he wants to see, he is no better than a frog in the well.
Only those who give up their arrogance and can see the whole world can live the way they want. This is the attitude that a mature person should have.
Mature people are often the ones who will not be affected by emotions in their lives.
Immature people can easily become emotional over trivial matters, especially when life is unsatisfactory, and it is more difficult for them to control their emotions.
But a mature person often quits emotions.
This kind of "quitting" does not mean not giving yourself a chance to vent, nor does it mean suppressing your emotions all the time, but learning to use the correct way to relieve your emotions and control your emotions when it is time to control them.
American psychologist Festinger told a story about emotions.
A man put his watch on the sink when he was washing. His wife was afraid that it would be damaged by the water, so she put it on the dining table . When her son got up, he didn't see the watch and accidentally knocked it to the ground.
The watch was broken, and the man got angry and beat the child. Because of this, the wife had a quarrel with the man.
In anger, the man rushed to work angrily, but found that he did not bring his briefcase. When he got his briefcase back, he was already fifteen minutes late.
Because of these things, men become even more angry and are in a bad mood at work because they have conflicts with colleagues over trivial matters.
The wife and son did not have a good day.
The son couldn't concentrate in class because he was scolded by his father. The wife had a quarrel with her husband and spent the whole day sulking.
When he looked back on this day, the man realized that all this was caused by his failure to manage his emotions. It was just a watch. If it was broken, it would be broken. Getting angry would not help.
A truly mature person understands that in life, solving problems is always more important than creating them, and understands that some emotions can only be solved by controlling some emotions.
Sometimes, emotions are just a momentary reaction, but if you let your emotions ferment, the chain reaction of bad emotions will gradually erode a person's life.
The more mature a person is, the less likely he will make things difficult for others.
In "We Are Not Angels", there is this sentence: "A mature person often finds that there are fewer and fewer people to blame. Everyone has his own difficulties."
thinks so.
In reality, people often make things difficult for others. The reason why they do this is not necessarily because they want to make things difficult for others, but they often do not realize that they are making things difficult for others.
Just like some people, they are always self-centered and think that the people around them should serve themselves.
When they are with their partners, they feel that it is normal for their partners to give, which is a sign that the other person loves them; when they are with their parents, they feel that all the efforts of their parents are deserved, and this is the responsibility that parents should fulfill.
Even when you are with your friends, you will think that your friends are obligated to serve you and make you happy, but you forget that giving should be mutual.
Mr. Zhou Guoping once said: "Being harsh on those close to you is a habit, and restraining this habit and choosing to be kind to those close to you is a kind of education."
Everyone has his or her own difficulties and has the right to choose Do what you want to do and don’t want to be yourself.
When you are like this, you should also give the other party the same rights.
Sometimes other people's contributions are out of love, care, and care, but the other person's contributions should not be taken for granted.
Only a truly mature person can get rid of the shortcoming of always trying to make things difficult for others, because everyone's center is themselves, not others.
True maturity is a kind of spiritual cultivation and a way of life. It is to understand how to live oneself, and to understand how to contact others.
On the one hand, only by giving up arrogance can there be room for progress; on the one hand, by managing emotions can it be possible to protect yourself and others; on the other hand, can you know how not to embarrass others so that you can get along with each other without getting tired.
If a person achieves these, he can be called a mature person, because these are shortcomings that mature people will not have.
