Writer Hemingway once said:
"It takes two years to learn to speak, and a lifetime to learn to shut up. Whether you understand or don't understand, don't say much. If you are confused and calm, speak slowly. If you really have nothing to say, don't say it."
Learning to speak is the first step. It is a kind of wisdom to "shut up" at the right time.
No comment is made out of respect for each other as the full story is unknown.
Only by not publicizing unfinished business can we avoid falling short.
Things that have become a foregone conclusion should not be mentioned again in order to move forward lightly.
1
No comment on matters where the full picture is unknown
The iceberg theory in psychology points out:
"The self is like an iceberg. What can be seen by the outside world is only a small part floating on the water, probably only Accounting for one-eighth, the other seven-eighths are hidden under the water and cannot be seen by others. "
What we see of a person or thing is rarely the whole picture.
In real life, there are many "keyboard warriors".
They make grand statements based on trivial details and hearsay, and even rise to the level of moral evaluation.
Just some time ago, when the epidemic in Shanghai was serious.
A woman in Shanghai was unable to deliver food to her father who suffered from ear disease due to the epidemic, so she asked a takeaway man for help.
I originally thought that the food would be delivered in an hour, but due to battery replacement, road closures due to the epidemic, and nucleic acid testing, it took me 4 hours to deliver it.
In order to thank the delivery man, the woman transferred a 200-yuan red envelope to him. After the man refused, she recharged 200 yuan for his phone bill.
The woman was deeply moved by the enthusiasm and professionalism of the takeaway boy. She posted the incident online and attached the chat history with the boy.
originally wanted to spread this touch, convey this dedication and enthusiasm, and let more people see the value of ordinary people.
However, netizens only grabbed the "200 yuan" and harshly and ruthlessly attacked the woman online.
They used vicious language to accuse the woman of being too shrewd, selfish, stingy, bitter and mean.
Some people even revealed this woman’s privacy, and countless netizens began to send private messages to scold her.
The kind takeaway boy came forward to explain to her, but he was indifferent.
The woman was overwhelmed and committed suicide by jumping off the building.
The old father who suffered from ear disease has since lost his filial daughter, and the young child has since lost his gentle mother.
The "keyboard warriors" who accused the woman disappeared silently.
"Zengguang Xianwen" said:
"Right and wrong are just because of talking too much, and troubles are caused by being too strong."
It means that talking too much will cause trouble, and being competitive will cause trouble.
Many "keyboard warriors" comment on matters whose full picture is unknown, just to express their own sense of existence, regardless of the impact on the parties concerned.
A Shanghai woman shared the help of a courier boy on the Internet. It was originally a heartwarming thing, but it was ruined into a tragedy by netizens who did not know the full story.
As the iceberg theory says, if we can’t even see ourselves clearly, how can we understand others?
Not commenting on matters where the full picture is unknown is a sign of respect for others, and even more respect for yourself.
If you can't empathize, "shut up" is the wisest thing to do.
2
Don’t publicize what has not been done
"The Analects" records:
" Zigong asked the gentleman, the Master said: First do what he says, and then follow it.
Zigong asked Confucius : "What makes a gentleman?"
Confucius replied: "Do it before you talk, talk after you have done it, do it before you talk, and be consistent in words and deeds. Only then is a gentleman." "
There are too many uncertain factors, and there is no guarantee that any unexpected or uncontrollable things will happen.
Do more, talk less, especially before something is done, don't make a big deal about it.
Netizen @ Melon shared on Zhihu:
His best colleague and best friend only informed him of the news of his resignation on the day of his resignation.
And when he knew about it, his best friend's resignation procedures were very fast. It’s done.
His friend apologized and explained:
“I’m sorry for not telling you in advance. I didn’t want to hide it from you.
But before everything is finalized, I am afraid of changes and problems.
After working for so many years, I think the biggest education my work has given me is: don’t tell anyone before something is done..."
may still be working hard, and someone who knows has already taken the lead;
may work hard , but you become a stepping stone for others;
It is possible that you are working hard, but someone is watching you make a mistake and holding on to you;
It is possible that although you are working hard, you have not achieved results and become a joke in the mouth of others.
Instead of giving it, Rather than inviting unnecessary troubles, it is better to work quietly.
Writer Han Han once said:
"Before I was racing, I encountered incomprehension and ridicule. Now I am a seven-time championship.
But before I started swimming, I encountered support and praise, but I still couldn’t swim well.
The opinions of others are not important, what matters is how you make things look. "
Everything depends on people, and the key to accomplishing things is yourself.
One word can make things happen, or it can ruin things.
Speaking out things may help you, but it is more of an interference.
Things are done in a secret way. Before things are done, keep a low profile. Good.
It is the last word to do things well.
3
It is a foregone conclusion and will not be mentioned again
Former British Prime Minister Lloyd George always used to close the door behind him.
One day, he and his friends were in the yard. When walking, every time he passes a door, George will always close the door naturally.
My friend was puzzled and asked him: "Is it necessary to close all these doors?" "
George smiled and replied:
"I have been closing the door behind me all my life. This is what must be done.
When I close the door, I leave the past behind.
Whether it is a wonderful achievement or an annoying mistake.
Then, you can start again. "
A seemingly ordinary little habit, but it contains great wisdom in life.
It is precisely because of such great wisdom that George finally stepped into the position of British Prime Minister.
Apple founder Steve Jobs has the same His wisdom was that he only looked at the present and ignored past mistakes.
Apple was preparing to develop a new project, but it lacked a capable R&D leader. Jobs, then CEO, was very troubled by this.
When he was sorting out files, he accidentally discovered that he had resigned. A research and development report submitted by employee Nievans two years ago was closely related to this new project.
Jobs was ready to ask Nievans to return to the company, but Human Resources Minister Geller strongly opposed it.
Because Nievans had worked at Apple for 10 years, when he resigned, Jobs and Geller tried every means to persuade him to stay, but he insisted on leaving.
Jobs persuaded Geller that the past is a foregone conclusion and need not be mentioned again. If he returns to the company now, it will add a top talent to the team, so why not do it.
Nievans, who was having trouble working outside, also intended to return to work at Apple, but was rejected by Gass because of his past betrayal.
For the invitation initiated by Jobs, Nievans was very grateful and worked harder.
" People's Daily " once mentioned:
"The past is a foregone conclusion and cannot be changed, but you can create the future through your own efforts."
No matter it was sunny or rainy in the past.
Yesterday’s sun could not dry today’s clothes; yesterday’s heavy rain could not wet today’s clothes.
We no longer need to linger around, we only need to live in the present, forge ahead, stand on the other side of time, and wait for the flowers to bloom on the road.
4
Written at the end
Writer Feng Jicai once said:
"Being low-key does not mean being marginalized and forgotten, nor is it incompetent. On the contrary, only self-confidence can be low-key and comfortable with being low-key."
A confident person never needs to prove himself with words. .
Ignorant people like to talk endlessly about everything.
A smart person always knows when to "shut up".
Being less talkative and more thoughtful, less words but more deeds is the accumulation of time.
I hope we can all be people of few words, but with a vast heart.
Thank you for reading~
Author: 33, record life insights in words
