There were sixty or seventy people in each class, and only four or five people were not selected. He actually won the prize? The thirty miles home, I usually ride a bicycle in fifty or sixty minutes, but this time he walked for three hours. "Brother, if you don't study well, you'

text/At that time, flowers bloomed

He was defeated? ! When he was pre-selected by

, he was out unexpectedly, but he had good results! There are sixty or seventy people in each class, and only four or five people are out of the election. Did he actually win the prize? !

The thirty miles back home, I usually ride a bike in fifty or sixty minutes, but this time he walked for three hours. He didn't know how to go home.

"Brother, you don't learn well, you'll be back after selling your conscience." He did not betray his conscience like Gao Jialin , but he lost the election. How do you explain to your parents? It is said that he is good at studying and obedient, and he has always been the pride of his teachers and parents, and his neighbors have also used it as an example for their children. Now that I haven’t even passed the college entrance examination preliminaries, I can’t argue? If you say it, who believes it?

This unforgettable sad thing, a great humiliation, was mentioned again many years later, and his heart still hurts. He will never forget that painful lesson for life. He didn't dare to go out for several months, and his parents seemed to have done something very disgraceful. When he went out, he hid and walked away with his head down. The neighbor's sarcasm and sarcasm and the "good intentions" of relatives and friends made him worse. Even the most despised rapist in the countryside, he will probably not be so disliked by everyone after he is released from prison!

Finally, my mother ran around while sick, asked her relatives and friends to win him a place in the college entrance examination. There is still one and a half months before the college entrance examination. In the following days, despite his hard work, he still failed. The second blow was given to him and his family, which was a great humiliation, but added a lot of talk and jokes to the village for no reason. It was also at that time that he had the first bloody intuition about human nature. "I still think about Xiang Yu , but I refuse to cross the east of the Yangtze River." When he thought of the bloody Wujiang , his heart trembled suddenly.

"How about you go to the army, right?" My father smoked a cigarette in a muffled manner. The air was so suppressed that it was suffocating, and the smell of smoke in the room made him cough. He endured it and did not let himself cough.

He doesn’t say anything, so what can he do when he is a soldier? People say that it doesn’t matter if you can’t join the party, you can’t promote it. Don’t you have to come back to farm in a few years? He likes to write poetry. In the poem, like many poets, he loves the loess and sings pastoral songs, but he cannot imagine how his thin body uses almost primitive farm tools to make sunrise on the loess and rest in the sun? "Picking chrysanthemums under the eastern fence, leisurely seeing the southern mountains" is the local owner, not the farmer who "hoe the wheat for a while, sweat drips into the soil"! Poverty not only limits imagination, but often weakens the soul while hungry.

For several months, he did not dare to go out of the house and often did not eat or drink for three or two days. Lying in bed every day, thinking about nothing and doing nothing. The stubborn father was even more silent. His scenery had long gone, and the villagers just habitually maintained superficial respect for him. He is usually used to speaking loudly, but his voice has become much lower and a little hoarse recently. My mother cried and asked him to go to dinner, and she would never dare to say more about complaining. His mind was blank and his soul was out of his body. He seemed to have become a walking corpse.

When he was sitting in the review class, it was already winter of 1987. The winter of that year was not too cold, and the sun was so warm that it was a little bit of laziness, which comforted his heart. He made his own decisions, changed his theory to literature, and followed his childhood dream of writers. During this incident, his sentimental nature has not changed, but he rarely cried since then.

Occasionally he would also think about which university did Yan Zi, who was far away in Tibet, get into? Which pillar would she lean against in the Potala Palace take a picture? She loves writing poetry and singing, will she go to Snow Lotus ? Can she feel that a young man in her hometown thousands of miles away was praying for her and blessing her without regrets?

But the super rhythm of the review class cannot be thought about, he has no way out! Pass the exam! Pass the exam! At dawn, dusk, and late at night, he is busy all the time, studying, studying! Because of him, my mother suddenly grew older, and the forty-year-old was dizzy. Under the instigation of others, the second brother publicly protested to his parents. Once, he kicked over the car he was riding at school several times! He didn't say anything, he helped the car up again and again, pushing it out. From then on, he didn't want to go home, maybe he didn't dare. ——This habit does not change until many years after work.

He couldn't imagine what would be waiting for him if he couldn't pass the exam...