Author Wu Ping
When the People's Liberation War that completely changed the destiny of the Chinese nation is coming to an end, the country and the people are still surviving on the mainland of the motherland. The thief Jiang Tuzi, who is struggling to death, is unwilling to fail completely, and wants to use his crabs and shrimps to gamble for the last one in the future. On this day, he called the commander-in-chief of a direct army and told him that he would visit the department in person in the morning three days later to give the officers and soldiers a face-to-face morale-boosting public lecture.
The flattered commander quickly made corresponding preparations: the red felt paving the road, the flowers fighting... The scene was really unrestrained and charming, which was shocking. After completing all the troubles, the rest of the trouble really stumped him. What's wrong? The emcee in charge that day was suffering from pharyngitis a few days ago. He sought medical treatment several times but did not work. His voice was sandy and hoarse all day long, and it was in line with the old saying, "Just about to rush to the mountain, hunting dog has diarrhea again."
Saving the scene is like putting out a fire, don’t let the small stones smash the big pot. The commander ordered the adjutant to go to the towns and towns to "select talents and appoint talents" and find qualified candidates to take the lead. Hard work pays off. One afternoon two days later, the deputy officer found a dog meat dealer with a loud voice in a market in a market town and shouted loudly: "Dear young and old men! Brothers and sisters! I have good dog meat here! Fat dog meat! Fresh and tender five-spice salted dog meat! You can choose, you can choose it. After smelling it for three days, it's not fresh or tender, it's not expensive! After passing this village, there's no store! Come and buy it!" Amid his tempting hawking, customers rushed to make a deal, and the business was very prosperous.
When he sold out all the dog meat on the meat stall and was about to set off on his way back, the adjutant who was shouldering the heavy responsibility stepped forward with a smile and grabbed him, dragged him into a restaurant on the street to treat him with wine and meat. After he had enough wine and food, he told him truthfully and asked him to come out to save the scene.
The dog meat dealer was overjoyed when he heard this, and his eyes were smiling like peas. The two jogged all the way to meet the commander and report the order. The commander immediately taught a few commonly used commands to ask the dog meat dealer to try to shout. Sure enough, the voice was loud and clear, and it was completely in line with the requirements, so he decided to hire. Now it is decided to pay the reward when the master of ceremonies is over. The commander repeatedly handed over: "Why do you want to shout the command then? You just need to listen to me!" The dog meat dealer smiled with joy, nodded and agreed one by one.
In the blink of an eye, it was the morning of the third day. All the officers and soldiers of this direct army, which were admired by Jiang Tuzi, were arranged in a square formation in the designated positions, standing solemnly with the arrival of the "sacred" moment. The dog meat dealer is no longer the same as before: wearing brand new military uniforms from head to toe, he was invited to the rostrum to prepare for his duties.
I could only hear the sound of flutes in the distance, but I saw a magnificent luxury car with a blue sky and a white sun and a small red flag on the ground. With a "ga" sound, the respectful commander quickly stepped forward and supported Jiang Tuzi in high-level commander clothes from the opened door. He climbed onto the majestic rostrum under the star-shaped moon-like guards and sat in a specific position.
Little did he know that at this moment, a timid soldier in the prestigious formation not far from the rostrum was already scared by this unprecedented formation, and he gritted his teeth and endured the smelly fart that had been slapped for a long time could no longer hold it in. Uncontrollably rushed out of his closed anus, the sound was like thunder, and the smell was everywhere.
The commander quickly covered his nostrils and cursed in a low voice: "Who is fucking shit? So smelly!" When the dog meat dealer standing on standby heard this, he immediately opened his voice and shouted: "Who is fucking shit? So smelly!" The commander quickly winked at him and said softly: "Please shout as if it was the past. As the past voice!" It means asking him to shout "Standing at attention" first, and then "Are you a little rest." But the dog meat dealer who usually keeps his words alone did not understand that meaning, so he opened his voice and shouted: "I have the best dog meat on this stall! Fresh and tender five-spice salted dog meat!" This hawk is okay, and the officers and soldiers in the audience couldn't help laughing when they heard the sound.
The Tuzi Jiang, who was sitting on the rostrum, was so angry that his face turned red and white, and his eyes turned white and turned blue. His nose cursed with a crooked nose, "My mother!" He slipped off the rostrum in three steps and two steps, and got into his car. With a "Woo!", he rushed up the winding mountain road and gradually moved away, until it faded and disappeared into a hazy smoke...
Author Introduction
Wu Ping, male, Tujia , born in March 1947, from Dongping Village, Chadianzi Town, Badong County, with a high level of education. He has been involved in writing since the early 1970s and has been in parallel in news reports and literary creation. His works have been published in counties, prefectures, provinces, and even national newspapers, magazines and online platforms.
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