Monster Circus | Text
Whenever I have no work, I will go to Brother Xuan to talk to him.
Brother Xuan is my best friend from college. He is a maverick soul, the initiator of the online dish dog movement, and the reference prototype of "Better Call Saul".
Others bought original headphones and burned them. Brother Xuan burned the washing machine and took him for a long time to explain the difference between the drum type and the pulsator type. It made you listen like a dream. After you calmed down, you have already placed an order for ten Haier units. brother. He is my goal as an editor, the soul guide who stands under the dawn of cyberspace.
So I went to see Brother Xuan, "I have no more work" - I told Brother Xuan straight to the point. But in an instant, I had a job, because I saw Brother Xuan wearing only a man's dream.
You can’t survive because you don’t know how to observe life - Brother Xuan told me, he said that I lack a pair of eyes to discover miracles, and at this moment, miracles are blooming in front of my eyes.
I turned around and wanted to leave, but I was grabbed by Brother Xuan, and my way was blocked by the washing machines that Brother Xuan's family had accumulated and couldn't sell.
"Only those who have been eliminated by the trend will bite lighters when they have no work." Brother Xuan told me, "To lead the trend, you must deeply explore daily life and find the avant-garde in the ordinary. When others listen to Cyndi Wang , you will Want to listen to "Handcore ."
Brother Xuan said: "If you want to find a topic, you might as well look at what underwear the contemporary men are buying. By coincidence, I have a batch of top-notch products at home, which are all from the Louvre collection. Level, look at them "
" Underwear protects the most vulnerable corners of men and is the closest thing to the heart. Only by figuring out what kind of underwear do fashionable men wear, can you grasp their psychological activities and write something that makes them applaud. Article. So, I’ll leave it here to punish you. Then Steam and Switch, let’s write about men’s underwear.”
I feel puzzled as to why he would use such bullshit that sounds like advertising to evade my sincerity.
"No, you are not trying to make readers want to buy underwear. Your thinking is still stuck at the original level of capitalism . What you have to do is to guide them to look at the horizon of the new world and let them understand that human beings are more than ordinary people. .And for that, I introduce you to panties . "
" For a long time, ordinary men have believed that men's underwear is a kind of basic clothing and cannot be compared with women's underwear. However, men's underwear has already become a medium for modern people to release their souls and pursue themselves. If you don't believe it, go to the shopping platform to search for it. best-selling men's underwear, they have long been It's not the vulgar four-corner cloth you wear. "
" Only through the new men's underwear can you understand the soul essence of contemporary men. Only by facing the evolution of underwear can you realize that human beings have advanced in technological level, body structure, and thinking. superior To what extent have you ascended? "
" For superior underwear, you must first get close to nature and become one with animals. Only by facing the beast side of yourself can you suppress the bestiality in human nature and then release the power of heaven and earth. "Brother Xuan said, leading me to his tip.
As soon as I saw Brother Xuan’s top-notch product, I immediately shouted that it would not work and humbly gave in: “Brother Xuan, I’m afraid I won’t pass the review. The last time I wrote a scientific paper on Ganoderma lucidum, I said no and it was gone.”
"Don't be afraid." Brother Xuan instructed me, "Then don't let the model out , when released, just print a bunch of thick codes. Men's underwear that can be issued without coding is not called underwear, it is called "
". The high-quality underwear does not need to be worn on the body. Your heart is surging, this is the power of blank space, let’s continue this spiritual journey.”
"African wild elephants are born for the pattern of underwear. Human beings are from Africa. Owning these underwear is like owning the savanna of Serengeti , full of traces of history - so wear it, You can start a journey to find your roots. , not just you, everyone can find your roots. "
" For underwear patterns, there is only one animal that can beat the wild elephant, and that is the lone wolf. Here, let's dance with the wolf. , you will definitely understand.All men are lone wolves at heart and must have wolf nature. Those you see who promote the wolf culture in the company and start meetings five minutes before leaving get off work secretly wear underwear like this.
At this point, Brother Xuan had tears in his eyes: "Actually, deep down in their hearts, they don't want to sneak in, because stealing is not considered wolfish." So they are all waiting for the day when wolf men can legally run naked, and then the wolf in them can awaken. "
"The best underwear, but also a man's dream. The underwear contains not the body, but the dream, using simple fabric, that is blasphemy. Good underwear must have dreams printed on it. From now on, when you mention my underwear, don’t use the vulgar word underwear, speak of a man’s dream. "
" If you wear your dream, you have to wear your struggle. So every man should own a pair of struggle underwear. Just like Corleone said in "The Godfather": Women and children can be careless, but men cannot. Therefore, you must always wear struggle on your body. "
" For struggling people, time is money, and life is made up of time. Therefore, money is the root of their life, or life root for short. For them, such underwear is like a duck to water. "
" Look, you are the game editor, right? I know you're a nerd at gaming, but you should also be a techie when it comes to hardware. And these are the e-sports underwear for hardware enthusiasts. "
" is removed. "I quickly thanked Brother Xuan.
Brother Xuan was not moved by the glory and continued to preach: "In addition, dreams and nature can be combined. For example, this one combines the red basketball hoop with the rooster, using passion to merge the two dreams that represent men: galloping on the field like Kobe , and the pastoral dream of raising chickens after removing their armor and returning home. Do you know what kind of overalls should be paired with such underwear? "
" Hey, what the hell are you doing? Your little dick is showing its black feet, isn't it? ? "
"Shh, don't be excited, leave your excitement to your dreams. However, dreams are not everything in life, and people cannot limit their sights to the present. For the best underwear, you have to look back on history. "
" The underwear you are wearing now comes from the design of the 1930s, and your body is full of outdated dust. But men can't do this. You have to boldly go back and cross the plains of Mesopotamia and cross the waves of the Tigris River until the dust on your body is gone, leaving only the roaring torrent of history. "
" underwear like this will shine for you through time and space. "
" Please imagine that after a man puts it on, he looks like a Roman warrior. Rome is resurrected in you, the war elephants of Carthage are roaring under your crotch, and when you look around, what you see is the dark forest of Gaul. It is said that when Russell Crowe was filming "Gladiator", he had to run fifty kilometers in these underwear on the set every day. "
" If you can't imagine it, it's because you haven't put on these underwear, resulting in a lack of imagination. Please put it on and think again. "
"What kind of man can't be moved by this kind of romance? "Brother Xuan wiped his tears lightly.
"But brother, even if I tell you a lot of high-concept words, you must keep in mind: the most important thing about trendy men's underwear is the sense of design. There are too many elements and constraints to consider when designing women’s underwear. Only in the design of men's underwear is the purest form of artistic creativity. "
" You will benefit a lot from looking at the treasures of men in the new era. It must have a freehand beauty in shape. minimalism and futurism are the end points of underwear. When you see a pair of underwear and think not of covering up, but of listening, feeling and thinking about why life is here and where it is going, then it is a successful underwear. "
" Artistry sublimates all things. You see, the struggle underwear we mentioned before can also be added with a touch of design. Did you find at this time that the previous bloated design was no longer eye-catching? It is precisely because the wilderness of your soul has been opened up by these underwear. "
" Only with design can we have dreams.A pair of high-quality underwear can be like a bat with its wings spread. Maybe we all look like clowns on the outside, but in the heart of every man, he is Bruce Wayne. "
" This has nothing to do with whether you have a nightlife with a supermodel or not. The focus is on styling. "
" The best underwear will tell the world with its own shape. Even Pinocchio, who keeps lying, can find his own mask and become Zorro. This is the power of design. "
" So throw away your meaningless square cloth, pure men are powerful, bold, sincere and avant-garde. The noise of art is silenced in men's underwear. Look at me, I look like I'm wearing underwear, but in fact it's just body painting. "When he said this, Brother Xuan's eyes were blazing. I didn't dare to move my vision downwards. I only dared to stare into his pupils.
"But Brother Xuan, there is a question. What underwear a person wants to wear is none of my business. It's none of my business. What the hell are you doing? If I just wrote an article mocking the freedom of underwear, wouldn’t I look like a jerk? Besides, you’ve said so much nonsense that’s just like advertising, wouldn’t it be a waste if you don’t take advantage of the trend and put out an advertisement?
Brother Xuan tapped my heart: "You're right to the point. This matter has nothing to do with you. It's really unkind of you to mock the art of underwear for comedy effect." But your advantage is that you have no glory at all. "
" As for advertising, you haven't learned to think like new underwear. Everyone thinks this is an advertisement and thinks you want to sell underwear. But then you suddenly change your style and say you don't sell underwear, you sell washing machines - you see, this is called a sword-pointing attack. "
Seeing me turning around to leave, Brother Xuan quickly stopped me and said, "How about advertising your official account? Washing machine and BB Ji, they sound pretty much the same anyway. "
But I said righteously: "No, BB does not wear underwear. The bottom of her skirt is a maze of dreams. Scan it and you can come into contact with a new universe every day. "
Brother Xuan was overjoyed: "Look, you have mastered the essence of underwear literature. My task has been completed. Finally, I have only one sentence for you readers. Although it is simple, it is better than a thousand pairs of underwear. Only by doing it can you have the fig leaf of benevolence and righteousness. "
" Brother Xuan, you said. ”
-END-
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