Xi'an ADLINK
1975, early winter. There is a glimmer of light in front of
. I stretched out my short arms and pushed my young hands to both sides, and the scattered light became bigger and bigger. I rubbed past the strong thighs. Turn a little to the left, carefully avoiding the two gray canvas travel bags piled next to the aisle. "Don't be crowded, don't be crowded!" The big man in front turned his head to see no one, looked down, and pulled the three or four people next to him, "Tell me to come over." The opportunities are getting better and better, people are flowing in twos and threes, more people are walking slowly, and less people are trotting. "Slow down, run slowly." came the familiar Sichuan man's urgent shout from behind, "Wait a minute, wait a minute." I couldn't hear it, and I almost fell down by a trumpet-shaped backpack. Fortunately, the backpack was full of things. The basket didn't fall, and neither did I. I staggered and stood still. "Slow down, slow down!" The Sichuan man's voice came closer and closer again. Without hesitation, I held my little hands and ran forward, wearing a new cotton jacket that didn't fit my feet very well.
Finally reached the middle of the two carriages, facing several higher steps. I looked back and saw no one chasing me. I held my left hand on the wall of the car and carefully moved my feet down. A strange big hand suddenly grabbed my right hand and led me to the bottom of the car in a few steps. Looking around, most people were swimming forward, so I made up my mind to head this way. More than one person, two people, more than the little sister held by the adults, "Dad, little brother, little brother." I didn't bother to say hello, and took the time to continue trotting. "Kid, why are you running? Where are your adults?" I pointed back randomly, and while he was looking back, I gently broke away from his hand. Run fast, run fast, only this belief supports me.
surpassed these few people, surpassed this mother and daughter in their fifties, surpassed this smoker, surpassed the three people setting up a dragon gate formation... surpassed, surpassed, no one, and finally surpassed everyone! I was very excited. The further away, the further away, it would be more interesting and safer. Safe? It's safe! Safe? It's safe! Looking back in the direction I came from, I could see no one nearby. Further ahead, there was no train anymore. I stood by the front of the car, raised my head, stretched out my hands, and looked up, but no one paid attention. "Uncle, uncle." I shouted, but no one heard me high up in the front of the car.
A Sichuan man in his 30s ran three steps and two steps at a time, wiping the sweat on his forehead and neck with his arms. Getting closer and closer, I could see him clearly, and he could see me clearly, and he slowly approached me step by step. At this time, the door at the front of the car opened, "Kid, what are you doing?" "Uncle, I want to drive the train." "Really, kid?" "Uncle, drive the train, drive the train." I hurriedly stretched out my arms and gestured.
"Is this your child?" "Yes." "That's good." The Sichuan man took me from under my arm and lifted me up hard. The uncle driver leaned down, pulled my shoulder, and swung me up, and I fell into the cab. "Kid, look, this is the direction to go forward." They are all large transparent glass windows, and the two rails extend forward. My uncle held me with one hand and pointed with the other. It was like the floor-to-ceiling windows and observation decks of high-rise buildings today, and it was also like the feeling when we climb tree trunks in the countryside. He turned around and looked at another uncle, smiled, and said, "Child, you are so lucky! This is the first electrified train that has just been opened in our country, and you are the first one to get on the locomotive to visit. Now you have to study hard when you go back, and don't dare to run around." "First", "No. 1", these words are deeply imprinted in my mind.
My father was on a business trip through Chengdu and Chongqing. The time was not very long, and he just happened to take me on a trip back to my hometown. My mother specially put on the blue plaid sweater and new cotton nest shoes that she bought for me. My grandparents (my mother’s parents) also told me to be obedient. I was quite happy and told the children in the village that I would take the train back to my hometown to visit my father-in-law and mother-in-law (my father’s parents).I was jumping around on the bricks that were usually spaced apart due to stagnant water in the yard, and accidentally tripped on the wet mud nearby. My clothes were all stained. I rubbed them with my little hands and patted them. There were still light mud marks, but I could only go out wearing this.
I remembered the reminder from my second brother that you are always disobedient in the countryside. This time I will send you to Chongqing, which is far away, and you will never come back. Most people who have two or three children in their home always say that my "big wood, two folds, three gimmicks, four strokes" are superfluous. If it weren't for the deliberate persistence of the grandparents here, Xihuhu, there wouldn't be you. There are ten people in the family, and food is very difficult. My father often exchanges national food stamps with the master at work or colleagues, and adds some money to send back to his hometown. Now that I have to send me away, the burden is relieved. I didn't quite understand, but my heart felt heavy and depressed along the way.
When I was a child, I always looked forward to riding the train. The memory of taking a train for the first time is very vivid. In the past, when we took the train, people would sit face to face, drink tea, read newspapers, chat, and become friends with the people sitting next to them. The train has an indescribable sense of security and intimacy. It is so simple that it makes people feel at ease. Getting on the train feels like returning home. There are so many people on the train that it can be overwhelming, and there are often people lying under the seats. I still remember the big pins I put on the inner pockets of my clothes to prevent thieves.或许是年纪小的原故，朦胧中只记得火车“哐哩哐嘡”响个不停，不停地钻山洞，进进出出数也数不完，害得一直趴在窗前想探知外部风景的我老看不清楚外面到底是怎么回事。 The Baocheng line is about climbing over mountains and ridges. Of course, mountains are connected to mountains and caves are connected to caves. It was boring to sit on the train for two or three days in a row, so I felt so eager and excited to get off the bus at the main station to get some fresh air.
I opened my eyes and there was no one next to me. I didn’t cry or make trouble. I quickly put on the clothes placed next to the pillow. I stood on the bed and jumped up a few times. I felt that my pants were lifted up and they were flat. I lay on the bed and leaned down a little bit until I touched the ground. I sat directly on the ground. I put on two cotton nest shoes and walked lightly to the door. As we approached the door, the door of the room opened automatically. "Huahua, you're up." "Mom, I need to pee." "Mom, take you to the toilet." "His father went out to do some business and didn't let the baby go downstairs, so he walked around on this floor." "Isn't the baby naughty?" "I'm really well-behaved. I went up a little late today, so I put on all my clothes."
I stayed at the factory guest house for a few days, except for one day when my father took me out and met a Chengdu cousin and a cousin who was more than half a year younger than me. In the evening, we also watched the outdoor movie "Red Guards of Honghu Lake" at the stadium. The contact movie was really enjoyable, but there was a storyline in it that reminded me of my second brother saying he didn’t want me anymore. I couldn’t help but cry while watching the movie. After watching the movie, my father took my hand and walked slowly to the hotel. Suddenly something was placed between our hands. Looking back, the little cousin ran away again, "Dad gave it to my brother, dad gave it." He untied the thin paper rope, opened the newspaper and looked at it. There was a blue cotton sweater wrapped inside. My cousin likes me, but he can't stay for more than half a day. I will follow him back to the small mountain village of Yong'an, Jiangjin.
My arrival made all my family members happy, young and old. I remember that when I was just born, my mother-in-law, who was in her sixties and had a grandson, specially made a pair of small black cotton shoes for me. When they arrived in the mail, I could no longer put them on, but I was like a big toy, so precious. My mother-in-law made this for me in my hometown. I kept it secretly and did not lose it even after moving several times. My father and mother often say that I came to this house to keep accounts. The relevant items are still preserved to this day, and the trivial things are still fresh in my memory.
My uncle in my hometown has two sons and three daughters, the second uncle has four daughters, and the third uncle has three sons and one daughter. The daughter happens to be the second in the family, so she is also called the second sister. One of my favorite things to do is when the three sisters are present at the same time, sometimes eating, sometimes sorting out various strips of cloth and giving us insoles. I suddenly call out "Second Sister" and they all agree subconsciously. "I am the eldest second sister", "I am the second sister", "I am also the second sister", I was very happy, and the sisters also laughed together.They also taught my mother-in-law: "Huahua is very playful." My mother-in-law also said, "It's very lively." After teasing me several times, I ran away holding my arms. Sometimes they chased me, surrounded me, rushed to hold me, and lifted me. Of course, they also sometimes pinched my face hard, slapped my butt, and beat my back.
My second uncle likes to drag me with him, holding a fishing rod , and carrying a small bucket to the pond in front of my house to fish. In the corner near Ancestral Bay School, there is clean water for food on one side and a pond on the other. My second uncle always likes to stand on the pond platform at the boundary between the two to fish. I was nervous and did not dare to approach the not very wide cement platform, so I kept guarding the bucket filled with water. Maybe because I don’t often eat fish, maybe the fish also welcome the little guests from Xi’an. My second uncle usually caught two or three at a time, and I followed him jumping up and down, and went home to have a “late night snack” (dinner).
Third uncle was preparing to make a midnight snack one time. I ran into the kitchen from outside, took his arm, and shook him from side to side, "San uncle, play with me for a while." "Huahua, good boy, third uncle wants to cook." "You are my relative, you want to play with me." My casual words made third uncle dumbfounded, and he hugged me and talked by the stove fire. My mother-in-law came back and asked why she hadn’t cooked yet? Sanbo hurriedly repeated it, and my mother-in-law was very sad when she heard it, "It's okay, it doesn't matter. You play with Huahua some more." This became something that Sanbo remembered and was proud of when I was a child.
My father finished the work within a few days, and I couldn't stay here for long, so my father wanted to take me back, but he didn't stay as my second brother said. People in our hometown escorted us outside the gate. My father and I turned left and walked through a short path, then turned right onto the avenue beside the pond. I looked back and saw them still standing there, looking and waving. I broke free from my father's hand and ran back all the way. Before my father could react, I had already run some distance away. I ran to my mother-in-law and said, "Mother-in-law, don't cry. I will come back with my father in a few years to see you." Several people standing wiped their tears, cried, and laughed again. They took turns to hug me again, and I naughtily wiped their tears with my sleeves. My father also wiped his tears gently, took me with both hands and left quickly without looking back. I turned around and looked at me, waving my little hands, "Father-in-law, mother-in-law, third uncle, third uncle, sixth uncle and sixth mother, sister, please go back, we will see you again!"
I am four years old! The experience of returning to my hometown for the first time was repeated many times by my father when he returned to Xi'an to his grandparents, mother and relatives. Every time, he laughed, laughed, cried, and when he thought about it, it was even more frightening. This also gave rise to the definition of "running away from home and running for freedom" as the family said. Perhaps this is also the reason why many years later, they lived in the same military factory, lived in the same family area, and stayed with their parents.
Flowers bloom and fall, spring and autumn pass by. People cannot predict the future, but they can look back on the past. Or go back to my hometown and feel that blood is thicker than water, the local accent is still there, and the family affection is with me, like a piece of beautiful music, lingering in my ears. Don't be afraid of wind and rain, don't care about east or west, raise your sails, keep moving forward, bravely pursue, and rush to the place in your heart that is facing the light.
On the night of December 31, 2022
Yu Dongyi Linyuxuan
About the author: Ling Hua, likes to read all kinds of books, like poetry, novels, and prose. He works in a state-owned enterprise and is a correspondent for many newspapers and magazines. His articles are often published in major newspapers and magazines.
