1
This day, the company's cleaning aunt grabbed me.
"Little Luo, what my aunt told you last time, I want to introduce you to the partner. See when will you go to see you if you have time..."
I was helpless and knew that my aunt had always been enthusiastic, but she still smiled and refused her kindness: "Auntie, thank you, I really don't consider discussing a partner now."
Auntie pulled me and refused to let go, and thought about persuading me, and it happened that I was just right. The cell phone rang, and I secretly breathed a sigh of relief. I waved the cell phone in my hand and said, "Auntie, I have something to do, I'll leave first..."
The aunt sighed from behind, "This child is thirty years old. Why is it so uneasy about my lifelong affairs? Alas, a child without a mother is just pitiful..."
Auntie's words, with a slight care, made me feel sad.
A deep breath, I pressed my phone and heard my sister-in-law's anxious voice: "Hey, Xiaocheng, your father is seriously ill again, come back and take a look."
I was silent for a few seconds and replied calmly: "Aunt, my company is busy and I don't have time to go back."
The sister-in-law sighed heavily and persuaded in a soft voice: "Aunt knows the bastards your father does. You hold a grudge against him. Auntie understands, but your father is really very sick... "
"You'd better come back and take a look. Your dad has not been easy for years."
"He is your dad after all..."
I couldn't say harsh words to my sister-in-law who loves me, and responded randomly: "I know, aunt, I'll take time to go back."
"Don't take time, come back tomorrow..."
I felt a little irritated, so I still asked the company for a leave.
The next morning, I drove for an hour and arrived at the hospital.
Hospital ward.
I stood outside the ward door and walked a few steps in place. After a long time, I took a deep breath and pushed open the door.
As soon as the door opened, I saw the person lying on the hospital bed in a hospital gown. His face was facing the direction of the door. When he saw me, his eyes suddenly lit up.
"You, are you here?"
I haven't seen each other for a few years. The obese middle-aged man in my impression has become very thin. The round face, which is always red, has disappeared. The high cheekbones on both sides of his cheeks are hanging with the remaining shriveled skin, looking old and weak.
I took a look, then looked away, subconsciously touched the cigarette with my fingers, and then I thought that it was the hospital, so I gave up.
The person on the hospital bed had already half sat up. When he saw my movements, he immediately took out a pack of cigarettes from the drawer beside him and handed them to me, with a cautious tone:
"Do you want... to smoke? I have it here."
I ignored his movements and said impatiently: "If it's okay, I'll leave."
"Chengcheng, don't leave. Dad hasn't seen you for a long time. You can accompany Dad. , Dad wants to talk to you. "
I stopped and asked, "What do you want to say?"
He looked at me with a slightly flattering smile on his face: "Chengcheng, I heard your sister-in-law say that you don't plan to get married, you are thirty, this marriage and having children is a big deal..."
"It's like that, you know your uncle Li's daughter, too, she just returned to China..."
"Don't pay that I'm thinking about it, I won't get married!"
"Chengcheng, dad knows that you resent your dad because of your mom, but dad hasn't been able to live long. Our Lao Luo families, you are the only one who is pointing at you to pass on the family line. If you can't see you getting married and having children, dad can't close his eyes even if he dies..."
I interrupted him with a sneer and sneer, "What, that woman didn't give birth to a son for you, did you think of me?"
Looking at his shameful face, I sneered, and then, I stared at him, using the coldest language in my life, saying word by word:
"You deserve to mention my mother too?"
"I don't get married, just want to see you the best!"
2
I leaned outside the ward, looked up at the incandescent lamp above my head, and the light hurt my eyes a little.
The whimpering sound came faintly in the ward.
I reached out and touched my pocket, took out a cigarette, and bit it in my mouth.
"Hey, the hospital cannot smoke." The nurse passing by looked at me and said.
I nodded and said that I could not smoke, so I grabbed the cigarette behind my ear.
The nurse stared at my face and suddenly asked, "Are you a 505 family?"
After a second of silence, I nodded.
The little nurse looked at me with contempt and left. A whim of high or low voices came from the corridor:
"It turns out that the 505th room has children. We all think he is an elderly widow..."
"I have seen an unfilial person, but I have never seen such an unfilial person. My father has been in the hospital for a year, and as a son, I don't even show his face."
...
Walking out of the hospital, I got into the car, suppressing my annoyance, I made a call, and the phone was quickly answered: "Chengcheng, have you seen your dad?"
"My sister-in-law, I'll go back first, the company has something to do." After a pause, I continued: "In the future, unless he dies, I won't see him again..."
" Why are you so cruel..."
" Sister-in-law, I'll hang up first." After hanging up the phone, I held the steering wheel and let out a long breath.
Are you cruel?
Even though he is lying on the hospital bed now and is about to die of illness, I still have no worries in my heart.
He deserves the consequences!
Close my eyes and I remembered another thin figure.
That is my mother.
3
I have lived in a happy and harmonious family since I was a child. My father is gentle and elegant, and his work is decent; my mother is gentle and capable, and has a good family management skills; I have excellent academic studies and never let my parents worry, and those who are familiar with our family will all say envy.
In my heart, my parents have a good relationship, and my father has never even said a harsh word to my mother.
At that time, among the classmates, there were many divorced single-parent families. The class teacher will take special care of them, and the students will inevitably have a little pity when they look at them.
I naively thought that I would never have that day.
However, the incident happened when I was fifteen years old.
That day, my father came back from socializing and fell drunk on the sofa. I shook him and asked him to sleep on the bed. My father muttered and fell asleep again.
As he moved, the phone in his suit pocket slipped out.
I picked it up and was about to put it on the table. At this moment, my phone jingled and a text message came in.
According to the devil, I pressed the button - a strange number, an extremely ambiguous title!
At that moment, I felt a buzzing sound in my ears, my eyes were spinning, my chest seemed to explode, and it was painful and angry. This pain also reminded me that this was not a dream!
Pinching my phone tightly, I couldn't help but tremble. There was only one thought in my mind - my father betrayed my mother and our home!
Looking at my father who was sleeping unconscious, I just wanted to smash my phone on his head and then question him fiercely, why do I have to do such a shameless thing and why do I have to be sorry to my mother!
Thought I thought of my mother, I regained a trace of rationality. I trembled my fingers and turned upwards. The text messages that caught my eyes were unsightly.
On the sofa, my dad snore sounded. Looking at that face, I not only felt strange, but I also felt that he was extremely disgusting!
I marked the text message unread and stuffed it into his pocket.
I went back to my room, sat on the ground with my knees in my arms, my heart hurt as if I had been stabbed hard, and I wanted to scream!
The good man who is loyal and caring for the family in the eyes of others; the good husband who is considerate and reliable in the heart of my mother; the father who taught me since childhood to respect and love my mother and listen to my mother has become a bastard who betrays the family!
My God, it just collapsed!
4
After a long time, I washed my face with cold water, and when I left the bathroom, I heard the sound of the door opening, and it was my mother who was back.
"Chengcheng, you haven't slept yet, where is your dad?" My mother asked me while putting down the key.
Seeing my mother, I found support and felt that my feet were really stepping on the ground.
My mother glanced at my dad who was sleeping on the sofa, and when she turned to me, her face changed. She asked anxiously: "What's wrong, Chengcheng? Why is her face so bad? Are you feeling uncomfortable?"
"Mom." When she spoke, my lips were trembling.
How can I, a young man, know how to hide my emotions? I wish I could tell everything!
But looking at my mother's face full of fatigue, the blue and blackness at the moment, my throat seemed to be pinched by one hand.
I suddenly realized that my mother had lost a lot of weight, and the blue shirt on her body was hanging loosely on her body. She was not fat at first, and I still remember that this blue shirt was bought with my mother when our family of three was shopping.
At that time, my mother tried on this dress, and my father smiled and praised, "My wife is so beautiful, she looks like the 20-year-old girl back then."
Mom blushed at dad and scolded him for being inappropriate.
I looked aside and looked disgusted with my dad always being so slutty.
The two female clerks in the store looked at them with envy, covering their mouths and laughing.
Such a beautiful and harmonious picture is vivid in my mind.
I clenched my palms, gritted my teeth, swallowed the words to my mouth, and asked with red eyes: "Mom, why are you so much weight? Have you been so busy that you haven't eaten on time recently?"
I know that my mother has been busy with a project recently. She goes out early and comes back late every day, and has to do housework when she gets home, and is busy like a top all day.
Mom walked up to me, touched my head, and asked me:
"Don't worry, Mom, Chengcheng, are you feeling uncomfortable? Or is the study pressure too much?"
"Mom knows that you want to get into No. 2 Middle School, don't force yourself too tightly. If No. 2 Middle School can't get into No. 2 Middle School, is also good..."
Mom comforted me softly. From childhood to adulthood, she gave me absolute trust. She never forced me to study like other parents. What she cares most about is my physical and mental health.
Because she was too thin, her eyes looked a little big, but those eyes that looked at me always had a gentle light.
Under the light, I saw a few white hairs appearing on her temples. My nose felt sore and my heart was thrilling. My mother is only in her early forties, so why did she grow white hair?
My mother, she works hard and wants to create a good living environment for me. When she gets home, she also has to take care of housework and keep everything in order.
But I, I have always been accustomed to enjoying her warmth, living a life of clothes and food.
I never thought about caring about her.
In my heart, my mother is as gentle as water, and my mother can do everything.
But I have never asked my mom, are you tired?
I quickly lowered my head, looked at my toes, and whispered, "I'm fine, Mom, don't be too tired from work. In the future... can I get off work early?"
I waited for a long time before I heard my mother's voice with a few hints of relief.
"Mom is not tired."
"Chengcheng has grown up and will feel sorry for his mother. In the future, mom will be relieved."
"When I was busy these two days, my mother will end this project. The high school entrance examination is about to be taken. Mom will spend more time with you."
5
Mom looks soft-hearted and easy to talk, but I know that mom is the most stubborn and will never change what she believes in.
Just like parents’ marriage.
At that time, my parents fell in love in college, but were strongly opposed by my grandparents. My mother insisted on her own and resolutely married her father.
From I can remember, my grandmother has been indifferent to her father, so my mother rarely takes me to visit them.
At that time, I didn't understand, and even said in front of the two old men that I hate them very much. Who makes them snob, doesn't like my father, and looks down on my father? It's just because my father came out of the countryside, what's so great about urban people?
I still remember the hurt face of my grandparents after I said these words and the pain in their eyes when they looked at me.
They loved me so much and left me with the best things, but what about me?
I was very proud and told my aunt who taught me these things that made me angry. My aunt praised me for being smart.
. Have grandparents seen their father’s character long ago? Have you expected this day long ago?
Now, I don’t even have the chance to say to the two old men that I was wrong.
A few years ago, they died of illness one after another, which became an eternal pain in their mother's heart.
For the so-called love, she ignored her parents' feelings at all. After marriage, she alienated the two elderly people for her father.
Now, if my mother knew about her father’s betrayal, how desperate would her mother be? How could she bear it?
I dare not think about it anymore, and I don’t want my mother to be in the dark.
This incident made me breathless. I was confused during the day and had insomnia at night. I learned to smoke for the first time, and my class teacher caught me. He called my dad in front of me.
I went home from school that day, and my dad was already at home.
As soon as I entered the door, he accused him, "You are about to take the high school entrance examination, can you use snacks?"
"What good thing is not to learn, but even smoking like a gangster!"
"You have thrown my face away!"
I looked at him hatefully through his long bangs.
My dear father since childhood, the great father in my heart, became abominable in an instant.
No concern, no inquiries, I just thought I was embarrassed by him.
The father who ran and played football with me when I was a child is gone.
He has no patience with me. It should be said that his patience with our family has disappeared.
Looking at his angry face, I was in a daze, as if the black fog covering my eyes was blown away, and the details I ignored emerged, and I was able to see some clues.
A long time ago, he was on business trips frequently, and he worked overtime more and more, and he came back late.
The house is getting quieter and quieter.
I thought, because I was in the third year of junior high school, they wanted to give me a quiet learning environment.
But our family has never been so deserted, but our family should be full of laughter and joy.
I am too stupid and immersed in my own world and did not find these changes.
"What's your look? Why is the more rebellious the older you grow up?"
He slapped the table and pointed at me and said angrily: "I can't talk about you yet. As soon as you say you will stare at me, you are against you!"
"What's wrong? "What's wrong?" Mom came out of the kitchen when she heard the sound.
She walked towards me, took the schoolbag from my hand, pulled me into the room, and my dad's roar came from behind: "Look at you, what you spoiled him, it's so unreasonable! Give me shame!"
She knew that I was smoking, so she didn't blame me, but just gently enlightened me:
"Chengcheng, mom believes in you, you have not let your mother worry about your studies since you were a child, and don't put too much pressure on yourself. Compared with grades, mom hopes that you love life more."
Asked my mother's concerned eyes, I think I want to study hard, and in the future I will give my mother the best life and let her be the happiest mother in the world.
As for dad, he no longer deserves my respect.
I have a mother, that's enough.
How unexpected, it is always so unexpected.
6
The high school entrance examination will be half a month later.
After the last exam, I quickly walked out of the examination room. Many parents were waiting at the school gate. I looked around but didn't see my mother.
The three days of the exam, my mother personally picked me up and dropped me off. My mother will definitely come. I waited for a while but didn't wait for my mother. I just waited for my uncle whom I haven't seen for a long time.
I looked at my uncle in surprise, but I met his slightly red eyes. In that moment, my heart beat wildly and I felt panic for no reason.
"Chengcheng, your mother... is in the hospital."
June was hot, but I felt cold all over and my legs became weak. My uncle held me in time, "You have to be strong. Your mother is fine now. She... is sick and very ill."
At the hospital, the smell of disinfectant filled the entire nasal cavity.
I don’t like to come to the hospital, nor do I like the smell in the hospital, because in the hospital, I sent my grandparents and grandparents away.
But now, my mother is in the hospital.
I ran wildly until I stopped at the door of the ward. I gasped heavily, and I didn't even have the courage to push open the door of the ward.
"Get in, Chengcheng." My uncle walked up and patted my shoulder.
My uncle pushed open the door, and I staggered and walked in with my hands and feet weak.
Mom was wearing a hospital gown, her eyes closed, and she was sleeping quietly on the hospital bed, like a weak doll.
Why is this happening? Why is my mother sick? Wasn’t she still fine in the morning?
I half-kneeled in front of her, held his hand, and tears fell one by one.
Maybe it was my uncontrollable sob that woke my mother up. She opened her eyes and saw that it was me, she laughed.
"Don't cry, Chengcheng, mom is fine."
My mother, so she has to comfort me in turn.
She hid it from me for a whole three months!
On the way, my uncle told me that three months ago, my mother found out that she had advanced gastric cancer and had systemic metastasis, and there was no point in surgery.
In order to give me peace of mind for the middle school entrance examination, my mother did not follow the doctor's advice to be hospitalized. She went home and worked and was busy as usual like a person who was fine.
I can't imagine how my mother has been here in the past three months.
Apart from her increasingly thin body, I didn’t notice my mother’s abnormality. I just wanted to suck myself hard, why didn’t I care about my mother more? My mother obviously lost so much, so I should have discovered it long ago! I deserve to die!
"Mom!" I couldn't cry.
7
My father also rushed over quickly. When he saw the uncle behind me, he shrank his neck.
I noticed that there was bruises on his face and the corners of his mouth were broken.
He stood in front of the hospital bed, looking at my mother with concern, and watching him turn his face to wipe away tears, but I felt that he was extremely hypocritical.
As a husband, he did not notice any abnormality about his mother. He cared for his mother a little bit. Now he looks sad and will show him!
"You go and do your business, I'm fine here." I heard my mother say to my dad.
"I'll stay with you. If you don't tell me so much, why are you so stubborn?"
My mother chuckled: "It's useless to tell you, the doctor can't do anything."
"Go back, I'm someone taking care of you."
My father wiped his tears and refused to leave. My mother only said: "You are now a critical period for promotion, and you can't delay it."
Dad left.
I stared at his left back tightly, clenching his hands so much that I would not rush up and swing my fists towards him.
After that day, I was staying in the hospital. My mother advised me to go home. How could I be willing? I know that my mother also wants me to be by her side.
Where my mother is, my home is wherever I am.
Uncle and aunt come to the hospital to accompany their mother every day, and their uncle also finds a nurse to take care of her mother.
When my mother is sleeping, more and more people are going to bed.
I hold her hand every day, praying constantly, praying that all the gods in the sky can feel pity for me and let me spend more time with my mother.
But no god heard my prayer.
That day came so quickly, and my mother's consciousness was completely blurred, and I cried and called the doctor.
The heart rate on the electrocardiogram kept falling, and the doctor and nurse rushed forward.
I leaned against the wall and shivered all over, fear overwhelmed me. I called my uncle with trembling hands and called my father again.
Uncle and aunt arrived soon.
Dad’s phone still cannot be reached.
The doctor shook his head at us, and I lay down next to my mother in a collapse, calling me constantly.
Mom finally reacted, and my mother responded to my voice and murmured: "Chengcheng, my baby."
"My baby hasn't grown up yet. I don't want to leave him, so I really don't want to leave him."
I held my mother's hand and cried so hard that I couldn't hold back: "Mom, I'm here, mom, look at me, Chengcheng is here, mom, Chengcheng is here, mom, Chengcheng is here Here, mom, don’t leave me."
I lay in my mother’s ear and kept crying, "Mom, mom, wake up!"
"Mom, dad is coming soon, don’t sleep!"
As I cried, mom opened her eyes, her heart rate suddenly returned to normal, and her consciousness became clear. She looked at me and smiled, and called my name weakly.
Suddenly, my mother turned her face and stared at the roof blankly, saying something. I leaned over and listened: "Don't call him."
"I don't want to see that face before I die."
At that moment, I felt like I was struck by lightning!
It turns out that my mother knew everything, and she had known about her father's betrayal for a long time.
"Mom!" My chest hurts so much, as if someone was stabbing it in his heart with a knife.
"I'm sorry, Chengcheng, mom, I really can't bear to part with you and can't accompany you."
In the huge ward, there were only crying one after another, and there would be no familiar voice to respond to me.
I lost my mother forever on this day.
From then on, it was cold and no one told me to put on my clothes again.
No matter how late I study, no one brought me a cup of hot milk and reminded me to go to bed earlier.
I got the first place in the exam, and no one would clap his hands anymore, and praise my son for being so amazing.
When I was frustrated, no one would touch my hair anymore and say Chengcheng, Mom believes in you.
No one laughed at me anymore. If you have a girl you like in the future, you can secretly tell your mother.
I can never share everything with her.
8
Uncle handled his mother's funeral.
At the funeral, when my dad appeared, I lost control and rushed up to beat him like crazy.
His guilty face made me disgusted, and I roared and told him to get out.
Uncle hugged me, and my aunt kept comforting me.
When I calmed down, they told me that my parents had already completed the divorce procedures three months ago.
I looked up, and the mother on the portrait looked at me gently, and tears came out of her painful eyes again. I hugged my head and squatted on the ground, with a desperate whimpering sound in my throat.
When I was conscious again, I heard my uncle and aunt talking.
Auntie cried and said, "You show that Hua's temperament is so stubborn? The beast who killed thousands of swords cheated a year ago. Minghua had known for a long time that he refused to say a word. Even after such a serious illness, he insisted on taking it. He didn't even reveal the wind to us. He was so frustrated that he told us, why was she so strong!"
"I see, she just kept everything in her heart and made herself sick."
"She left, what should I do if Chengcheng is alone!"
After a long time, my uncle's hoarse voice came: "Chengcheng will have us in the future."
Aunt said again: "From Chengcheng's appearance, I'm afraid I've known about that bastard for a long time. "
I closed my eyes and gritted my teeth.
My mother divorced her father when she was diagnosed with cancer.
What kind of despair should she choose to endure all the pain alone and force herself to smile all day long.
Mom doesn't want to worry me, for fear of affecting my study.
But it will never be too late to study, mom has only one!
Mom, I have grown up, I can accompany you in everything, why do you want to leave me alone?
9
A few days later, my uncle handed me a passbook. I knew that these were all kept by my mother who saved money. The amount on it was enough to bear the expenses for me to go to college in the future.
The last deposit was the bonus for my mother to complete the company's last project. The passbook in my hand made me breathless.
I was red-eyed and handed the passbook to my uncle for safekeeping.
My father came to my uncle's house to find me, but I didn't want to see him.
The uncle and my aunt had no good face to him. He had been here twice, but he did not come again.
My mother divorced him during her lifetime, but she just didn't want to do anything to him in the future. What Guagua.
I don't want to.
I went home for me, moved my things, and then found someone to change the lock of the house according to my request. My mother transferred the house to my name a few months ago.
The doubts at that time, now there is an explanation, my mother has made all plans for me.
I went to a boarding school in high school. At first, my uncle and aunt disagreed, and I insisted. My uncle blushed in anger, and finally agreed.
He asked me to go home on Friday, and on Monday morning, my uncle sent me back to school.
I never want to ask about my father's affairs, but the news can still be transmitted to me.
A aunt who married another place came to see me by the way. She cared about me for a few words and told me about my father's affairs.
I got it. Less than three months after my mother passed away, he had a couple with a woman. The woman was pregnant, but unfortunately, she had a miscarriage again. Looking at my aunt's regretful smile on her face, I think, isn't this retribution?
A aunt said, with a deep smile on her face: "It's still your mother's amazing. The house was transferred to you early. Your father's salary is in her hands. It should be left to you. It should be a lot of money, right? Your dad is pitiful. He divorced your mom and he divided a broken car. He and the woman are still renting a house. "
I looked at the faces of my aunt and my dad, and her tone was sour. I felt disgusted in my heart and left without looking back.
I will never see this aunt again.
My sister often buys a lot of things to see me. My sister has loved me since she was a child. She wanted to pick me up to her house, but I didn't agree.
After college, I got into the city next door. After graduation, I started my favorite career again.
As for that person, I never called him dad again, let alone saw him.
As I grew up and he grew older. He got my mobile number from my sister-in-law and called me frequently. When I heard his voice, I hung up.
The year I was in college, he came out. I almost survived the car accident. Later, I lay in bed for half a year. It is said that after he was discharged from the hospital, the woman divorced him.
What's funny is that he has only one child until now.
He came from a family that favored boys over girls, and he also pointed at me to pass on the family line.
How could I let him get what he wanted? I insisted that he die with regret.
How could I make him die? 0 Three months later, my sister-in-law called, I left the office, stood in the corridor and answered the phone.
The sister-in-law said on the phone that he was leaving.
I hung up the phone, and I looked up at the window and laughed.
After a long time later, someone patted my shoulder, and I turned around, the company's cleaning aunt looked at me with concern, and she took out a tissue from her pocket and handed it to me.
"Little Luo, why are you crying? What kind of grievances have you suffered? Tell me about it."
I laughed and asked my aunt: "Auntie, you want to introduce me to a partner last time, do you still count?"
"Of course count!"
Maybe, I will meet a suitable girl and will get married and have children in the future.
If I had a girl I like, I would definitely not let her suffer.
If I had a child, I would definitely not let him bear the suffering I had suffered.
I will love this world seriously and bravely and love life, just as my mother hopes.
——Full text——
