When I was in the second year of junior high school, my parents divorced. My mother separated a house in my hometown. My brother and I were given custody to my father. Soon afterwards, my father remarried and my mother remarried, and no one cared about me and my brother. Later, when I was in the third year of junior high school, my mother asked me to go back to my hometown to study. Girls originally prefer to follow my mother, so I went back. My mother decorated the house and she promised to install a beautiful room for me, but after a long time I found that my mother and stepfather had moved into a new home. The new room that I promised to give me became a room for piles of miscellaneous items. At that time, there was no accommodation in the newly changed school, so there was no choice but to live in my aunt's house.
I have lived in my aunt's house for a long time. My aunt is very kind to me, but life is always difficult to live under someone else's roof. I deliberately eat very little every time I eat, and I don't want my aunt to think that I eat too much, because none of my parents have given my aunt living expenses. I didn't know how to wash clothes before my parents divorced. Later, I didn't want to cause trouble for my aunt, so I learned to wash myself. My aunt is a very saving person. She uses cold water to wash clothes in winter. I have to wash clothes and ride an electric bike to go to school by myself. Soon, all I have had in my hands are frostbite, which is painful and itchy.
I remember when I was in the middle school entrance examination, I was not very familiar with my hometown at that time. I asked my mother to accompany me to find the exam room. I forgot why. She didn’t accompany me, and my aunt didn’t accompany me. I went to find the exam room alone. At that time, I felt so helpless.
Later I went to high school and had a dormitory in high school, so I moved to school. As for my father, I think he is an extremely irresponsible person. My custody is with him, but he seems to have never raised me. When I was in high school, he never gave me living expenses on time. Even if I called him and asked him, he wouldn't give me it on time. It took a long time every time. He doesn't have money, he can make money himself, and I don't know why.
I calculated my own expenses in high school. It costs about 80 yuan seven days a week. I ate rice balls at a small stall outside the school for breakfast, and lunch is more expensive, about 5 yuan. For dinner, sometimes rice balls, sometimes , rujiamo . Maybe I am growing up and I feel so hungry every day. There is a thin and crispy biscuit in the school cafeteria, one dollar a bag. I have eaten it from my roommate, but I never want to buy it because I spent the money and no one gave it to me. Maybe it was because I was so hungry that I had a shadow. Later, when I got rich, I ate a lot of food every day, which made me fat now hahaha.
It's okay usually. When winter comes, my hands and feet will become suppurated. I remember one time a boy was startled when he saw my rotten and bloody hands. I silently retracted my hands into my sleeves, feeling extremely inferior.
After several semesters like this, I still saved more than 2,000 yuan in frugality because I don’t know when my father will give me money next time. I feel that I have money in my hands, at least I won’t be hungry. Later, my mother found out that I had money here, so she asked me to borrow it, but she didn't remember what she was doing. She said it was soon but she didn't pay it back for a long time. I asked her, and she said that she didn't pay me any salary. (I forgot to say that my mother had no job at the time and was pregnant with her sister)
It was very cold and it was about to be on the winter vacation, and they had not paid me back. I have very few clothes in winter, and there is a cotton coat that is too small and not warm. I really want to buy a new one. My mother didn't give me money. I told my father that I wanted a jacket, but he always said he would buy it for me, but he didn't buy it after a long time. My feet are also cold, and I don’t feel any sense of cold every day. Later, when I heard from my classmates that Huabei could buy things online, I started to try using Huabei, thinking that my mother would pay me back the money and I would pay it back. At that time, I was not yet an adult, so I used my mother's ID card and mobile phone number to apply for a bank card.
That was the first time I used Huabei to buy things. I remember it very clearly. I bought a cotton jacket, a set of thermal underwear and a pair of cotton shoes, and spent more than 400 yuan in total.
When I returned Huabei in the second month, I had no money, and my mother still didn't return the money to me. My father, I told him that he ignored me at all.Later, the overdue text message was sent to my mother's phone. She asked me what I was doing. I said I was buying things. She said I was unhappy at such a young age. She was as bad as my father. She used her ID card to apply for a bank card and asked her to owe money. She said I just wanted her to die and asked me to pay back the money immediately. But I can’t pay it back where I can’t even pay for my meal at school. I didn't pay it back, and the overdue text message was sent to her phone again. She called me to her house and scolded me fiercely. My stepfather said in front of me that if she doesn't pay back, the money she pays will be deducted from the money she owes her.
I cried so much at that time, and I don’t remember how I left her house.
Later, it was when I was in my senior year of high school. On the Laba Festival, my younger brother, my only relative, passed away due to an accident. I don’t know if it was because my younger brother dropped out of school in junior high school because of his parents’ divorce. My younger brother fell in love with a girl he was with at the time. Later, the girl became pregnant, and the two sixteen-year-old children got married, got married, and gave birth to children. When my brother passed away, my little niece was only six months old.
Later, I had a very serious depression . My mother felt that she had lost her son, maybe out of guilt and compensation, so she moved into her house. Depression always cries for no reason. When I cry, my mother takes a cell phone to take a photo of me, post it on WeChat Moments, and post it to her family group, saying that I am suitable for acting, and cry whenever I cry. At the worst, she did not help me, but instead pushed me into a deeper abyss.
Graduated from high school, but failed the college entrance examination and went to college. The tuition fee is an 8,000 student loan, because my parents are unwilling to give me money, so the living expenses are only 2,000 yuan I earned from working in high school during the summer vacation. I'm going to school, I want to stay away from my mom.
On the day I went to school, my parents went to see other students off, but I didn’t. I dragged a big suitcase to the school by myself and took the train to register. Because most schools are starting school, there are so many people in the car that they are crowded with no place to get off. My suitcase must be placed on the shelves above, but the box is too heavy and I can't put it on and I can only ask the uncle who looks stronger next to me to help me. After I sat down, I found that there was a little girl sitting beside my uncle, calling him dad. It turned out that my uncle was going to send his daughter to school. I wanted to cry at that time. Someone else gave her dad, why didn't I do this? Why did I do this?
Just arrived at school at that time, I was thinking about what to do if I spent the two thousand yuan. At that time, I heard that some female college students were kept, some went out to sell, etc. To be honest, I had such a bad idea in my mind. For nothing else, I wanted to finish this. I didn’t want to go home. I don’t have a home, and I don’t have a place to go if I don’t go to school.
Fortunately, not long after, I saw the recruitment information of a children's training institution. The salary was not high, but it was enough for me to live in.
I went to class for the first week and had eight classes. Because I kept talking, I was in charge of the children and discipline, my throat was full of blood, and it hurts when I swallowed my saliva. I cried on the way back to school after class. I was so tired, but I had to have this job.
This way, I persisted in the college degree for three years. None of my parents had ever taken care of me. I always used the student loan for the tuition, and my living expenses were part-time. I still have extra money to help my little niece and her mother. I don’t want to break off contact with this remaining relative because of my parents’ inaction.
Last year, , junior college to undergraduate, successfully got ashore. When I came to a new school, I obviously felt out of place with the surroundings. Everyone has a vigorous vitality. The girls look so sunny and happy like flowers. I seem to be the grass hiding in the dark corner, silently enviing them.
I have never told my friends around me about my experience. I can only live alone and desperately.
