Original illustration: Meow Meow Xia, narrated: Anonymous, female
01
The name Kang Qiao was Liu Yi's entire first half of his life.
The girl Kang Qiao was independent in the world, sitting in a corner of the playground sketching, he just took a look and fell into it.
He likes everything about her, thin, tall, fair, lonely, cold, disdainful of likes anyone, and does not need anyone's like.
At that time, everyone was honestly wearing school uniforms that were so ugly that they had no friends.
Only Kang Qiao would rather be punished to stand in public and write a review than wear it.
On the campus back then, Kang Qiao was the retrograde in everyone's eyes.
Let me put it this way, most girls don’t like Kang Qiao, but she is an unreachable dream for boys.
02
There is more than the only one who has a crush on her.
A boy once took the initiative to help her carry a heavy drawing board after school. She didn't give her any face and took it away.
Someone wrote a love letter to her, but she refused in public: "Thank you for your kindness, study hard."
Such a person is definitely a bold .
Rumors about her are emerging one after another.
The maliciousness in the small campus society is sometimes really cruel.
Some people say that her mother is a mistress. Later, it was said that she lived with a young man in a certain street and alley with a nose and eyes...
Liu Yi once believed it and went to a certain street and alley to verify it. As a result, the door opened was a pair of grandparents, and the other person's house had never been rented out.
Liu Yi was very angry and became very irritable because of this. If anyone says such a girl, he would scold him. If he was a boy, he would beat him.
The girl who was scolded was dissatisfied and ridiculed him: "Have you seen you right away? Which family guardian do you do?"
The boy who was beaten was dissatisfied and gathered more than a dozen boys to beat Liu Yi after school.
But this did not affect his continued struggle with those rumors.
03
When Liu Yi was beaten to a bruised nose for the Nth time, Kang Qiao was waiting for him on the street corner at the end of evening self-study.
didn't say thank you, but just said to Liu Yi, "Stop falling with pigs anymore. You can't make a profit, but they enjoy it."
Liu Yi was also stubborn enough and threw a sentence: "This is my own business, it has nothing to do with you, I am willing, you don't care."
After saying that, he left without looking back.
At that time, he himself never thought that the saying "I do" would be half a lifetime.
is rooted in the willingness to go through fire and water when I was young. It may only be once in this life.
04
In the second half of the year of high school, Kang Qiao is rarely seen on campus.
She is an art candidate and needs to go to various parts of the country for training. Beijing, Shenyang, Nanjing...
She is not here, and the rumors are also calm. Liu Yi, who is doing nothing, turns his crazy longing into crazy learning. After the first time I made it to the grade ranking list, my father rewarded him with 500 yuan.
He turned the money into train tickets and went to Beijing to see Kang Qiao who was in training.
The closed training camp allowed him to say a few words to her through the school gate.
Although I was thinking about it, what I said was: "Beijing is really big."
Kang Qiao asked him if he had eaten?
He remembered that he had never thought about having a meal since he got on the train.
So, he said the truth: "I didn't feel hungry all the way."
Kang Qiao turned around and ran away. When he came back, he handed him a bag of bread, ham sausage, chocolate, and mineral water.
She ran out of breath. The moment she took the food, Liu Yi felt that everything was worth it.
He has never seen Kang Qiao care so much about others.
Before leaving, Kang Qiao said to him: "The world is so big and life is so long, we will all change, but thank you for coming to see me."
took a car for 14 hours and met for 5 minutes. On the train back to
, Liu Yi only ate a loaf of bread carefully. He couldn't bear to eat the rest, but he didn't feel hungry. He finally knew what it means to drink full water.
Thinking of what she said and her experience of traveling around the world, Liu Yi made up his mind: If you want to get it, you have to work harder and see her at a high place.
That year, Liu Yi was admitted to the Beijing People's Congress, while Kang Qiao was admitted to a college in Jiangnan.
Liu Yi thought he was getting closer and closer to Kang Qiao, but their relationship has always been above AUO and his lover is not full.
05
When I was in my junior year, Kang Qiao fell in love.
She told Liu Yi immediately.
Liu Yi felt that his brain was short of oxygen at that time, and he asked her impulsively: "Is he better than me?"
Kang Qiao said: "It should not be better than you."
Liu Yi was almost crazy: "Then why didn't you choose me?"
Kang Qiao said something that made Liu Yi almost desperate: "I remember every fight you fought for me, and the feeling of being attacked by the whole world inexplicably but being believed and protected by a person without reason. So, in this life, I will not be stupid enough to turn such a person into a boyfriend or a husband."
Kang Qiao is an art student, and even love is so Performance art .
She just wants to be the white moonlight that Liu Yi cannot reach for this life.
06
So what can Liu Yi do?
Kang Qiao has always been a maverick and unique girl.
They all worked very hard in their future lives and each achieved their own achievements.
Kang Qiao studied for a master's and doctoral degree in Jiangnan and stayed at school.
Liu Yi graduated and stayed in Beijing for three years, and then went south to Guangzhou to start a business.
They are still in contact, and Liu Yi will go to Kang Qiao's art exhibition.
When Kang Qiao went to Guangzhou for a business trip, he would call him: "Please treat me to dinner."
When he returned to his hometown during the Spring Festival, the two would get together, talk about the past and talk about each other's current situation.
When Kang Qiao first broke up, Liu Yi put down the extremely important meeting and went to Nanjing to comfort her.
Kang Qiao was not very sad, but she said to him with emotion: "We must not become lovers in this life. Otherwise, if we really encounter difficult things that cannot be solved, we will not even find someone who can be assured and boldly entrusted to our thoughts."
years have washed this originally ambiguous relationship the more we have.
Although Liu Yi was unwilling to accept it, he should be second best. Just think that in this world, it is not bad.
07
In the autumn of 2019, Kang Qiao got married and her husband was her colleague.
Kang Qiao sent an invitation to Liu Yi, but told him, you are busy with yours and don’t need to attend the wedding.
But Liu Yi went there anyway.
wants to be abused.
Want to see her in a wedding dress.
Want to give up completely.
However, when he saw Kang Qiao's father handing her over to her husband, he still regretted coming this trip.
A heart feels like it has been chopped into dumpling filling.
So, I didn’t eat the wedding banquet, so I went to say goodbye to Kang Qiao, saying that the company still has something to do and I have to catch a plane.
Kang Qiao carried the wedding dress and trotted back to the hotel all the way, and brought him a large bag of wedding candies: "You didn't eat even the food, be careful of low blood sugar, thank you for coming today." Liu Yi peeled a chocolate on the return flight on
.
It hurts from the mouth to the heart.
Sure enough, the bitterest candy in the world is her wedding candy.
08
Kang Qiao got married, and Liu Yi kept a distance from her.
He went to Nanjing on business trips many times, and he wanted to call Kang Qiao, but he held back.
only met last time when I went back to my hometown every year.
Every time I saw it, Liu Yi had just established the idea of finding someone and becoming a family.
In this life, if the person you marry is not her, he will not have much hope for marriage.
Until the spring of 2021, Liu Yi suddenly wanted to be home after an appendicitis surgery.
But he didn't expect that on the scene of his first blind date, he received a WeChat message from a friend of him and Kang Qiao: Kang Qiao is divorced, if you are not dead, just go there.
Everything is like a coincidence as if it is arranged.
Liu Yi attributed it to God's will, and this is the last chance God gave him.
09
Liu Yi went to the airport directly from the blind date scene.
There were mixed feelings along the way, worried about Kang Qiao's grievances in his past marriage, and excited that he could finally pursue her with justification.
Kang Qiao was a little surprised by Liu Yi's fall from the sky.
Liu Yi went straight to the topic: "Why don't you tell me about your divorce? Do you still treat me as a friend? Did he bully you?"
Kang Qiao smiled calmly and said to Liu Yi very honestly: "I'll tell you if I divorce, how much tea do I have to have? Moreover, it's really not someone's fault, it's me who is not suitable for marriage at all."
Kang Qiao told Liu Yi a lot of details.
For example, she kept calling her parents-in-law "uncle and aunt" and felt that she could not speak up when she called other people's parents, and she could not speak up, and she could not deal with the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law at all.
For example, she particularly opposed her ex-husband taking students to their homes for dinner, and hated that there were outsiders in her home, but her ex-husband brought students to her home almost every week.
For example, she especially doesn't like to run a house at home, but her ex-husband doesn't like to eat outside food.
For example, she doesn't want children at all, but her ex-husband's parents have been giving birth...
Kang Qiao said that she was really married and realized how difficult it is to get along with, and she is an introverted person. She said she would never touch marriage to harm others and herself again.
10
But what she said is no longer important to Liu Yi.
What is important is that the end point returns to the starting point. At this time, Liu Yi does not want to miss the opportunity given to him by fate. After hitting there, he began the most passionate pursuit of Kang Qiao in his life.
He can finally celebrate her birthday blatantly, appear in her classroom uninvitedly, and tell her the emotions that have accumulated for half of her life...
The belated love is surging, and he is determined to win.
Liu Yi silently transferred the company's business to Nanjing consciously.
In the autumn of 2021, Liu Yi proposed to Kang Qiao, using the company's business license he just applied for and a Nanjing real estate certificate.
He booked the next restaurant and prepared the lines in advance.
However, when the lights went out and the candlelight was lit, Liu Yi, who was killing in the mall, choked up at that moment.
When he thinks about being able to spend his life with the one he loves most, and when he thinks of his unswerving years, he feels both hard and happy.
The prepared lines were in use in the end. What they said was the one they wanted to express most: "Kang Qiao, marry me." The atmosphere of
has been set off there. Kang Qiao had to take over his flower and diamond ring. She said, "Liu Yi, I hope we don't regret it."
11
Lovers finally got married, and Liu Yi originally wanted to organize a big fanfare.
However, Kang Qiao was unwilling. She has experienced the ceremony of
once.
Once again, she asked her father to hand her hand to another man, and she felt like acting.
Liu Yi understands it very well.
So, the so-called marriage ceremony just invites both parents and each other’s best friends to Nanjing, and everyone has a meal together.
Family and relatives raised their glasses, and the beauty was on the side. Liu Yi felt that his life was perfect at this moment.
12
However, pursuing a person from teenager to middle age.
Who would have thought that after the prince and the princess finally got together, it took less than two months to go from being in love with each other to being tired of each other.
Every day after marriage, Liu Yi was almost disappointed. What I can't say about is the wedding night, I was nervous and excited, but Kang Qiao's reaction was more like perfunctory.
This is the first time in his life, but it is not hers.
Moreover, Liu Yi soon discovered that Kang Qiao was actually cold in character.
Although he comforted himself and Kang Qiao and went to see a psychiatrist together, psychologically, he still felt a sense of loss-Kang Qiao actually didn't love him much.
13
What is important is that when the white moonlight becomes the person by the pillow, the distance is closer, but the beauty and curiosity disappear little by little.
Kang Qiao is relatively cold in terms of husband and wife's life, and the same is true for family relationship management.
Every time Liu Yi videos with his parents, he hopes that Kang Qiao can talk to them about family matters and bring them closer together.
However, Kang Qiao was obviously not good at chatting. Liu Yi said that the things Liu Yi sent to his parents were bought by Kang Qiao, so his in-laws thanked Kang Qiao on the phone.
If you are an ordinary person, it would be nice to take on this favor, but Kang Qiao had to tell the truth: "No need to thank me, it was all bought by Liu Yi. I didn't pay or work."
days, and I just chatted like this.
The parents asked Liu Yi privately: "Do you have any objections to us?" "Don't you think she is very ignorant?"
Liu Yi could only explain for Kang Qiao that she is an art-oriented person and is relatively simple and direct.
When he returns home, he will also advise Kang Qiao to speak to his parents and be sweeter, such as inviting them to play in Nanjing, and often sending them some greetings.
But Kang Qiao didn't understand his meaning at all, and asked him: "They couldn't get used to being in Nanjing, so why did they ask them to come? And there's nothing to do, why do you send messages every day? I really have nothing to talk to them."
In the past, Liu Yi loved Kang Qiao's unworldly and independence from the world.
But now, her autistic self gives him a headache.
14
My brother, who has been with him for many years, heard that he was married, so he came to visit the couple from Xiamen. However, Kang Qiao asked Liu Yi to entertain others alone in the name of not being familiar with others and not liking unfamiliar social engagements.
My cousin came to Nanjing. The two brothers had drunk three times at home. Kang Qiao came over and said to Liu Yi, "I have booked a hotel for my cousin and even made a car. You can send him over." I can also hear how much wine I drink from
. This is the order to expel guests.
At that moment, Liu Yi was almost angry.
When I started my business the most difficult time, my cousin contributed money and efforts. Kang Qiao knew all these things, but they were still so unkind.
That day, my cousin said tactfully that he felt shallow and couldn’t sleep well at other people’s houses, but his sister-in-law was considerate.
After Liu Yi sent his cousin to the hotel, he asked Kang Qiao how he did this so disagreeable.
Kang Qiao was also innocent: "He couldn't sleep well in our house, and there were outsiders at home, so I couldn't sleep well, isn't this good for everyone?"
At that moment, Liu Yi heard his inner dissatisfaction. The next step of being dissatisfied with is disappointment.
If Kang Qiao is "afraid of trouble others and also afraid that others will trouble himself", it is a sense of boundary between intellectuals that can be viewed in two.
So, when you live close to the front and find that the goddess will drool when she sleeps, and will save up four or five shorts to wash them clean again, Kang Qiao felt that she had spent more than ten years wrongly.
Once, Liu Yi was on a business trip for five days. After returning, he found that his home was as messy as if he was thieves.
There were five or six bags of domestic garbage piled up in the kitchen. Kang Qiao's bags, clothes, and socks were not sure which one was clean and which one was dirty. He threw it from the bedroom to the living room.
The explanation she came back was that she was busy with a teaching observation activity in the school these days and had no time to clean up.
Then, the clothes and socks were cleaned, and rolled them into a ball and stuffed them into a wardrobe, saying that they would sort them out after finishing this section.
At that moment, Liu Yi's heart was also full.
The next morning, I watched Kang Qiao pull out a piece of underwear that I didn’t know if I had washed. I smelled it very seriously. In that scene of
, Liu Yi felt that his goddess was like a collapsed clay sculpture.
The girl in her memory exudes the smell of sunshine roses all over her body, but when she got married, she could not wash her hair for three days, and the smell of oil hit her face.
In fact, Kang Qiao has not been so sloppy. When she is not busy, she will clean her home from inside to outside, clean up her wardrobe and tidy up like a model room.
She has the kind of personality that can only focus on one thing. If she is busy with work, she will devote herself to the point of being careless and even being ungrateful.
Once you clean up your house, it must be thoroughly cleaned up like obsessive-compulsive disorder . A personality like
is actually completely understandable and even cute if it is used by ordinary people.
However, in Liu Yi's heart, she always appeared with a divine side, so when he saw the real part of her, especially the scene of picking out a clean piece from a pile of dirty underwear and putting it on his body, he felt disappointed and depressed.
16
Life cannot carry so much perfectionism.
The pink bubble of memory is in reality, and it will be broken as soon as it is poked.
The first month of someone else’s wedding is called honeymoon, but the first month between Liu Yi and Kang Qiao is like exposing the black.
There is no principled unhappiness, it is that the details of life are too different from what I once imagined, so, there were moment after moment, Liu Yi felt that he regretted it.
He began to miss the day when he couldn't get it. He dreamed of her in the middle of the night. She sang all the songs after drinking, and she was still missing her every festival...
17
The days afterwards were also stumbling.
Both of them are not young anymore, and Liu Yi really wants a child.
But Kang Qiao felt that their current state was not suitable, and children were never a tool to solve their relationship.
But Liu Yi felt that perhaps there might be a child who has a deeper blood bondage, and their relationship can emerge from the popularity of becoming a couple from first love, from love to family, from intense to dullness.
, the two have not reached an agreement yet.
This difference has also become a reef in the hearts of both of them.
18
Later, the company's business needs, and Liu Yi stayed in Guangzhou for longer and longer.
business needs are one aspect, and wanting to avoid quietness is also one aspect.
He never dreamed that he loved each other for more than 10 years and had only taken less than half a year to get tired of each other.
Fireworks are easy to get cold, love is actually quite superficial and cannot withstand trivial hiccups and farts.
There are countless moments, Liu Yi wants to retreat to those years when he cannot love, want to leave regrets to regrets, and freeze beauty in the soft light of memory...
