Life is like a parabola, sometimes we are at the apex, sometimes we are at the bottom, sometimes we need to climb, sometimes we need to learn to dive. When you are temporarily at the bottom, what you need to do is not to blame others, but to accumulate strength and prepare for the upcoming climb.
In order to give everyone a better reading experience, the full text uses the first person.
①
With a clang, the tall and thick iron door slowly opened, and I stood in the center. The leaves outside were floating in chaos, and there was no one there.
It has fallen into autumn, and the wind blowing on my face has become a little cool. I zipped my clothes and took the bag handed over by the prison guard. This is all my belongings: a few clothes that I had washed many times, a towel and a toothbrush.
I was imprisoned for three years and was released from prison on this day. Three years ago, I went into the house to steal. According to the amount, I was sentenced to six years, but I was lucky and only three years. Because I wasn't sixteen years old at that time.
Although I am young, I have a lot of experience. When I was six years old, my father threw me to the human trafficker Zhang Dapao. From then on, my family could receive thousands of yuan in rent every year, so I didn’t have to worry about my food and drink. Since then, I have been instigated by Zhang Dapao to steal things.
I know that Zhang Dapao uses a pseudonym, and people in this industry will not easily show their real name. He taught me a lot of tips.
When Zhang Dapao performed his superb skills in front of my parents, he said, "I can learn all these things to me, but I am afraid that I won't get any food in the future? Although I can't get on the table, it's better than lying in the valley and digging food from the soil. Besides, there are so many babies in the family, just pick up the important ones and keep them. The rent I give you every year is worth the whole family's food."
My family is in the mountains in the southwest, with hundreds of people living in the village, guarding the paddy fields and mountains. My parents have six children, two boys, four girls, and I am the third. To save trouble, my father named him from one to six, so my name is Zhang Sanmei.
The name is so scattered.
Because they were daughters, their parents threw me to Zhang Dapao, and then they heard that they rented my sisters to others one after another. With these incomes, my brother and younger brother should be able to live a good life, but I no longer care about these things.
At the beginning, I would miss home. Gradually, I forgot what my hometown looked like and followed Zhang Dapao to travel around the country. I met many people, did many things, and was caught countless times.
Because I was too young, I was released after being detained for a few days. The police asked me where my home was and who my parents were, and asked them to take me back and educate me well. Every time I just tell them Zhang Dapao’s contact information, and then continue to go out and steal. Little girls, few people will be wary of it.
has been working in this industry for nearly ten years, and I am a veteran. I have mastered the ability to unlock locks with one hand, and it is difficult to encounter locks that I cannot unlock. My courage is getting bigger and bigger, and I am no longer willing to stare at the daily necessities in the supermarket. I started to steal the household, and the amount is larger every time.
cannon was originally considered half of my support. Who would have thought that he not only had a thief heart, but he became lustful when he saw me growing up. One night, Zhang Dapao forced me to fall down on the bed. In the chaos, I broke his head and escaped. From then on, I swayed around alone, looking for a phone call.
I keep sliding forward on this road of no return. I have encountered many things. I am mature so quickly and no longer have the innocence that I should have at this age.
until that day.
At that time, I had successfully burgled several times in several communities and had a lot of gains. I wanted to do another order and then stopped traveling, but I was surrounded by the police and sent to prison. From then on, I started my life in prison.
②
I stood in the middle of the road and took a deep breath. It was the smell of freedom, and everything will start again.
waited on the side of the road for a while, and I squeezed into a bus. When I came out, the prison guard gave me some travel expenses, and I threw them all into the money box in the car. The driver said a few words, "Miss has put too much." I ignored it, and I was enjoying the feeling of freedom at this time.
I found a colleague who used to owe me money, and he pretended to be surprised and said, "You are out and you can show off your skills again."I smiled, took the money from him, but didn't reply to him.
I rented a room in a private house and settled down, and began to think about what I would do in the future. Suddenly I remembered what the female police officer said to me a few days before he was released from prison: "Now you are already an adult, don't go the old path when you go out. If you do something illegal again, you must be fully responsible. You are still so young, find a serious thing to do and live a good life. "
But I can't do anything except steal.
Actually, from the bottom of my heart, I hate stealing things.
When I was a child, I was away from my family and was whipped by a stranger to steal buns from the shop. I was a little older and ordered to go to the supermarket to steal towels and soap, and went in and out of the Public Security Bureau and the labor camp several times. I think everyone's eyes look at me are weird, in their eyes, I'm just a freak.
I also want to go the right path, want to have friends, have someone who can speak intimate words, can laugh loudly, can celebrate the achievements I have achieved through hard work, can care for my family, but I have nothing.
After thinking about it, I made me dizzy and fell asleep in a daze. It was noon when I woke up and I was hungry. I called and ordered takeaway.
After a while, someone knocked on the door. There was a standing in front of the door. A boy in an orange coat, tall, pretty, and honest, looking very honest. He smiled at me, handed me the food, and turned his head a little embarrassedly.
I realized that I was wearing pajamas. "What a fool," I laughed and scolded in my heart and took it.
I stayed in the house for a few days after that. It was a coincidence that every time I ordered takeout, the orange clothes were delivered The young man, it turned out that he lived downstairs and went to several nearby communities to deliver food.
Gradually, we became familiar with each other. His name is Xiaolong, two years older than me. I told him that he was a little girl who had just graduated and found a job.
Xiaolong and I became friends. He started to deliver food to me regularly every day, and even forced me to get up on time to eat breakfast. He was careful and considerate. As long as I didn't say it, I never asked more questions.
Love is sometimes as silent as a seed. Until one day you find that the seeds have grown new buds and sucked branches, you realize that the spring breeze has already blown all over the world.
And I realized that my love for the little dragon is constantly coming out from the bottom of my heart, like the water of the Baotu Spring, constantly rolling.
③
The appearance of the little dragon is like a beam of light, which makes me whole person All illuminated. I started to get up on time, clean up the house, learn to cook, and even wanted to find a job outside. The idea of re-working my old job was buried deeply by me. I stepped on it a few times, covered it with double-layer wooden boards, and put two big locks on it.
That day, I learned to cook the first bowl of noodles, pushed it to Xiaolong, who had just gotten off work opposite the table, and the heat was pressed against his cheek. He finished the noodles with a smile, praising me for making great progress.
We talked a lot, listening to Xiaolong talking about the past and the future, I was about to confess to Xiaolong. It is said that girls should be more reserved, but I don’t care about this. But before I could say it, Xiaolong’s words made me retreat again.
When we were discussing what kind of person we would find to live to the end of our lives in the future, Xiaolong said that we should find a simple and kind girl, not seeking wealth and honor, just be ordinary and happy.
My heart seems to be tied up.
My heart is tied up. The iron block fell rapidly, and "simple kindness" seemed to have ceased to exist since I was six years old. I have been wandering in the darkness for so many years and are wrapped in the abyss. Now even pursuing love has become a luxury.
I swallowed the words that I jumped to my throat. That night, I smoked a whole pack of cigarettes.
I remember that when I was in prison, I would arrange some people to teach us regularly. They often say this: "The prodigal son will turn back and don't change gold. "At that time, I didn't understand, is it difficult to look back, as long as I don't do bad things, it's enough.
Until today, I really understood the meaning of this. When I wanted to let go, the past was like a shackle, making it difficult for me to move forward.
I went to the talent market to find a job. When people asked me for a resume, I didn't know what it was. When I asked me what I knew, I seemed to know nothing. The huge talent market was crowded with people, but I felt extremely lonely.
④
The weather is getting colder and colder. I crouched in the room without eating or drinking or moving, so I lay on the bed and smoke kept smoking. The smoke filled the whole house and blew out of the window with a small crack.
I don’t even open the door if the little dragon knocks on it. I heard his footsteps going downstairs, and a sourness appeared in my heart. Within two minutes, there was a sudden "boom", the door was kicked open, and Xiaolong rushed in.
"Me, I saw the window smoking and thought you were on fire..."
I know that I must look bad, with my hair disheveled, and half of the cigarette is still stuck in my fingertips. He was obviously scared by me and asked me hurriedly what was wrong. I have a lot to say in my heart, but I feel that there is no need to say it. This is what I originally looked like. Those so-called beauty are all pretended, just like glass bottles, which can be broken when touched.
I wish I could travel time and space back to the past, start my life again, and wipe out all the mistakes I made; return to my childhood, and have happiness as dignifiedly as many people, and depict a bright future on white paper.
or even, I can choose my origin.
But this is impossible, no one can go back to the past. I have never been to school, and I don’t know much about the words I know are taught by Zhang Dapao. I also tried to learn in prison, but I couldn’t calm down. There were no toys or candies in my childhood, only whips and endless abuse.
Xiaolong saw that I was worried, so he kept it, but his work was not allowed to be idle for a long time. The prompts for orders on his mobile phone kept ringing, and Xiaolong was in a dilemma. I told him to go and do not worry, I wouldn't do stupid things, so he hurried downstairs to deliver the order.
⑤
is tired of staying at home. I took the bus to wander around the city, and then I invested two dollars to get to the terminal. After a few trips, my stomach started to scream again. This time I was so hungry that I felt a little painful, so I walked to a small restaurant across the street to have a meal.
hasn't arrived at dinner time yet, and the restaurant is very deserted. When the waiter saw me coming in, he probably thought I was a delivery guy, so he ignored me and continued to chat there.
I knocked on the table and said I wanted to have a meal. At this time, a chubby waitress hurried over and handed over a menu and said, "What do you want to eat?"
I looked up to pick up the menu. Seeing that the waiter looked familiar, I couldn't remember who it was. As I was thinking, the other party patted my shoulder and shouted, "Are you a third sister?"
I nodded.
"I am Ali, do you remember me?"
Ali is a friend I met in prison. She is one year older than me. She was released from prison half a year ago.
When she was a child, her father ran away with the mistress, and her mother vented her anger on her and her younger brother all day long. Ali came out to participate in the society just after the first year of junior high school, and was proficient in fighting, smoking, drinking, and was the "big sister" in their community.
During a group fight, Ali blinded a person's eyes. The other party's parents came to the door to pay compensation. Ali's mother spread her hands and didn't have a penny. In this way, Ali was sent to prison.
When I first went to prison, many people bullied me. Ali didn't like it and helped me. In that closed space, we became good sisters and talked about everything. But since she came out, we have been disconnected.
I haven't seen each other for half a year, and Ali has gained weight. I handed her a cigarette, she didn't smoke, but poured a glass of wine, but she didn't drink it. All quit. I sighed at how great her changes were. She pointed to the direction of the kitchen and said to me, "I am in love with chef Adong and I am going to get married next year. He asked me to get rid of my bad habits so that I can be healthy and prepare for the future of having children."
I couldn't help but envy her and happy for her. The store was not busy at this time, so Ali accompanied me to eat and chat.
She changed from the inside out, no longer the fierceness she used to be. Her catchphrase disappeared, and her whole body exuded a strong atmosphere of fireworks, like a basket of freshly out of the pot, steaming hot, giving people a sense of wealth and peace of mind.
I also want to have the heat as hot as her, so I poured out all the depression in my heart. I don't know who to tell me except her.
A Li finished listening to me and held my hand and said, "Three sister, when I first came out, I felt like you, I knew nothing, I didn't want to go back to my home, and I no longer accepted school. After a few days, I had to eat, but we had at least a pair of healthy hands, and we were still young, so why can't we start over? As long as we are willing to work hard and endure hardships, can we starve people to death in this world?"
"We all have an unfortunate childhood, and we have also committed a crime. Wrong, but we still have the opportunity to reform. You see, we are still so young and have so much time to live well, why don’t you choose to live with confidence and dignity?”
Ali said of her emotional place, her eyes flashed, and I asked jokingly: “When did you learn so well to enlighten people?”
She looked in the direction of the kitchen, her face was red, and that look, as if her perfect life was unfolding there.
This chance encounter made me feel excited, and the little candle that was about to extinguish in my heart burned again, more enthusiastic than before. As noon approached, the small restaurant began to rush. Ali was busy, so we left each other's phone number and made an appointment to contact us often in the future.
⑥
6
I took a walk without direction and walked to the bus station without realizing it. People are busy and traveling in a hurry. An old man on the side of the road was squatting in front of a fruit stall to buy things, dressed in particular.
The little girl pointed at this and then that, and selected the fruits she wanted to eat. The old man smiled and went to get them one by one. I have never experienced this scene in my life, and I watched it foolishly. Suddenly, a tall and thin man came to the old man's side, and the blade in his hand swayed and cut the old man's left pocket, revealing his wallet. The tall and thin man took out the tweezers with his tweezers.
The old man didn't notice the whole process. Judging from this technique, this thief is a novice. With my skills, I can do it without cutting my pocket.
I want to remind the old man, but I understand that there must be accomplices in a place with high traffic such as the station, and I will suffer a lot by then.
The tall and thin man was a little nervous after succeeding, put his wallet in his top pocket and walked away quickly. I came towards me, pretended to bump into him accidentally, and then quickly stole the wallet back.
When I passed by the old man and was about to put my wallet back, two men from the other side ran towards me not far away. Intuition tells me that they are policemen. My heart skipped a beat. Now that I was done, although I didn’t do anything bad, it was hard to explain clearly. If I catch it, I have to go to prison again.
I wanted to run, but my feet were as if they were nailed to the ground, and I couldn't move, my palms began to sweat. The tall and thin man behind me had been pressed down, and there were many policemen next to me, and the pickpockets scattered around me were arrested one after another.
I stood there in a daze, watching the police escort the pickpockets into the car, but no one came to arrest me.
At this time, a middle-aged man came over and followed several people. It seemed that he should be the commander of this encirclement and suppression operation.
I stretched out my hands to wait for being handcuffed, but the other party shook his head and said with a smile: "I have been watching the on-site surveillance camera. You are not a thief, but have done good things. It seems that your technique is very skillful. Do you mind telling me about your situation?"
I burst into tears in an instant.
⑥
I told the police about my life experience and my determination to reform myself. The police were very happy and asked me to be their informant. I agreed.
Based on the intuition I have developed over the years, whether a person is a thief, I can tell at a glance that I will definitely be able to do this. I treat this as a ladder, a ladder climbing upwards.
The next day, I cut my hair short and insisted on following Xiaolong out for takeaway. He thought I could not bear this hardship, but after that I gave more orders than him every day. I know what real suffering is, I have experienced it long ago.
Life is like a parabola, sometimes we are at the apex, sometimes we are at the bottom, sometimes we need to climb, sometimes we need to learn to dive. When you are temporarily at the bottom, what you need to do is not to blame others, but to accumulate strength and prepare for the upcoming climb.
I'm ready for this. No matter what greets me in front, it will be better than the nightmare caused by ten years of stealing.Maybe I will get what I want and be with Xiaolong like Ali. Maybe he is still alone, but what does it matter?
Will you definitely meet the right person in your life? uncertain. Looking forward to it like he will come tomorrow, and living like he will never come. That's enough.
——Finish—
