Text: Lanting Picture: From the Internet
I am 35 years old this year and I am also quite handsome. I went out to work at the age of fifteen or sixteen and wandered outside for many years. I was disgusted with all the girls who showed good things to me. I felt disgusted when approaching them, so I kept alone.
The fate of a family cannot be broken by three generations. My uncle in the previous generation, my cousin in this generation, and my cousin in this generation, but the water dripping through the stones. The family atmosphere that has penetrated over time is like a tide that has been wrapped around us and cannot move, so we are unable to get ashore.
My grandmother lost her husband in her early years and took my uncle and dad to depend on each other for life. She has a very strong personality. My aunt got married early and married a contractor. She lived a good life and often supplemented her parents' home. My grandmother took her two sons to the point of life, controlled her tightly, and had the authority to speak out at home.
After my uncle got married, this situation of dominance was broken. My aunt was a famous iron girl from all over the country. On the night she married, she had a disagreement with my grandma for the gift of marriage, and then fought. My uncle was stuck in the middle, grabbed her hair and slapped herself in the face.
Since then, grandma and aunt fought twice in three days and had to divide the family. The uncle finally broke away from grandma's control and took his new wife to live his own life.
The two families live in the east and west ends of the villages, which are only two hundred meters apart, but rarely come and go. My grandma prefers my dad. When he became an adult, he married my mother, a beautiful girl who married from the mountains. She has a fair skin and a graceful body, and is nicknamed "Yizhihua".
After my mother gave birth to me, my father and I worked as a contractor, went out to work as a small worker. We had to go home during the busy farming period or during the Chinese New Year.
Mom is at home, and she is gradually becoming dirty with her grandmother. She quarreled over the past few days, and gradually developed into a irreconcilable situation. My mother called my grandma "old witch" in front of me. Grandma called my mother a "vix" in front of me, but they all have one thing in common, that is, they all love me.
Occasionally, when my father comes home, grandma will cry and complain, saying that my mother is so unfilial, she knows how unfilial she is, she knows how to dress up all day long, doesn’t like to do farm work, and is too lazy to die. In fact, my mother comes back to do farm work every day to wash her hands and face and apply some cream. I remember that brand, called Yashu , a large bottle of May Day, and a large chrysanthemum was printed on the porcelain bottle, which smells very pleasant.
Dad told my mother that my mother was widowed to pull me up. It’s not easy, you should be filial to her.
Mom felt even more wronged and said: It’s not my mother, why should I be filial to her? Besides, she treats me like an enemy, and even keeps the money you earn in your mother's hands. I even ask her to buy a pack of toilet paper. She also stings and says, "I'm wasting money, who is your wife?" But my father said: I feel more at ease in my mother's care about the money and I'm sure.
Mom said you obviously didn't treat me as your wife and didn't feel at ease with me... So my parents started arguing, and my grandmother stood up to protect her father and encouraged her to slap her mother. Dad really slapped her mother.
Mom cried and scratched her father's face. Grandma rushed up, dragged her mother's hair and beat her to death. Dad looked at him coldly and shouted: Mom, don’t hurt your hand. I was so scared in the corner that I cried... Then my mother ran back to her parents' home and was finally persuaded to come back. Such a scene would be performed every time my father went home.
Slowly, my mother stopped arguing with grandma, as cold as ice. Sometimes I hug me and shed tears. When my father came back, my mother stopped complaining, and she looked lightly. Dad was still very happy and thought he had finally figured it out.
Days flashed, I was in junior high school. One day, I had a stomachache at school, so I asked the teacher for leave to go home early, pushed the door and walked into the yard, and the house was quiet. Usually at this hour, my grandma went to the neighbor's house to play cards.
I pushed the door of the main hall and couldn't open it, as if it was tied up from inside. I curiously walked around the back window. The window was half-closed, and a thick panting sound came. Through the crack of the curtain, I saw the nightmare that entangled my life:
The curtain tent was hanging low, and the neighbor Qiu guy was leaning on his mother. His mother leaned against the head of the bed, his eyes half-closed, and his cheeks were dizzy, as if he was intoxicated...
My mind was blank for a moment and my blood rushed to the top of my head, and then I was furious. I screamed "ah", picked up a piece of wood on the ground, and smashed it in crazily...
This scandal swept across the village in less than a day, and our whole family became a joke in the village. Grandma rushed to Brother Qiu's house and smashed his house into pieces. She jumped up and scratched her mother's face, picking up the most ugly words and cursing her.
Mom ignored me, packed up her clothes, and found me who was covered in a quilt and didn't dare to go out. Xu Xu talked about her father's filial piety and grandma's meanness, and said that only Brother Qiu loved and understood her. She begged me to forgive her and said she could not take me away...
Wait for my father to rush home, and my mother has returned to her parents' home and sued for divorce. In this way, my parents divorced and Brother Qiu disappeared. I heard from people in the town that they elope to work in the city. Later, they heard from them one after another that they had a son. Some people said they had seen him and looked exactly like me.
I was in school and I was always pointed at by people. Someone was talking about my mother's affairs vividly and said that my mother ran away with someone. When I got home from school, the woman eating melon seeds at the entrance of the village often stopped me and asked with a smile: Quan kid, do you miss your mother? Have you ever seen your mother and your stepfather’s younger brother? My face turned red and I looked at me with glaring. They spit out the melon seeds in their mouths and said disdainfully: Oh, are you still angry? No joke can stand up to any joke.
I ran home amid the laughter of everyone. Grandma either sighed or cursed my mother in front of me: "Bitch, vixen."
I can't stay in this place for a day, so I ran away from home with the 200 yuan I cheated from my aunt. Many people in the village worked in Shenzhen. I went to Shenzhen and had no education. I could only ask my fellow villagers to help me go to the factory to work as an assembly line worker. I was reversed day and night, and my income was small.
During the holidays, others come home happily, but I don’t want to go back. On New Year’s Eve, thousands of lights are on my house. I would rather eat instant noodles alone in the empty dormitory than contact my family.
I learned from the fellow villagers that my grandmother had passed away. My father found a widow who had three children to live. My father thought the other party had too many children and was burdened. The woman thought my dad was stingy and left again after more than a year.
Later my aunt introduced a woman to my father. The other party was widowed, had a son, had a suite in the city and a small storefront.
My aunt said, my father honestly wanted to find a strong woman to support him, so that he could live a life. With my aunt's arrangement, my father spent a lot of money this time, bought a gold necklace, gold earrings, and gold rings. He also seriously invited a matchmaker to give him a betrothal gift and held a lively banquet. More than a year later, I heard that this woman thought my father was dull and couldn't get along with her son, so she swept my father out.
My dad returned to the village again. Fortunately, he had the skills of a bricklayer. He pushed down the old house in his family and built a new building. There were also women coming and going around him, but they always parted in a bad mood in less than a year or two.
I am in my twenties, and many of my colleagues around me have become fathers. I was tired of these days, and after a colleague's lobbying, I went to Yunnan and embarked on a path of no return.
I accidentally entered a pyramid scheme and was beaten and hungry. It was a common occurrence. Once, I was beaten up because I failed to complete the task and woke up in a coma for two days. I have been drowsy and in a trance since then, and I don’t remember much. The responsible leader was afraid that something would happen to me, so he took advantage of the night to carry me in a van and throw it into the suburbs.
In the suburbs of early autumn, I lay on the grass, looking at the flashing stars in the dark blue sky, and remember that there was a saying in the text I learned, the stars in the sky are my mother's gentle eyes.Where is my mother? Where is she?
