There is an "Island for Everyone" in the middle of the distant sea. More than 100 tribe members of the Chuxin Tribe live peacefully on the island. When the island where they lived for tens of thousands of years gradually "sinked" in recent thousands of years, the chiefs and tribesmen were "swalking" to the "Island of Lonely", thus opening a life game that was different from the inner preferences of their ancestors. Although they look to the future every day, they hope that in the past, can they still find the way home and return to their homes? ......
excerpted from the original "The Original Intention Tribe, Retrieve the Lost Home! 》 Part 2: Civilization 2.0--"Brave" game / Continued:
Section 5: A struggle that should not be had, men and women fight
Due to the fight for mating rights, spouse, territory, dining priority, etc., the fighting between primates has a greater chance of occurring between males and males, the competition between females is less, and the intensity is much smaller, while the probability and intensity of direct confrontation between males and females is even smaller, unless for the sake of the child. First, because the female has retreated when the male is intimidating, and second, the male will not instinctively treat females as hard as other male competitors. The male knows that females will not pose a serious threat to their status, and even if they knock the female down, they cannot show their strength. Female people will hardly interfere with the fight between males. They usually watch the fun in a cold manner and enjoy seeing who is better. Males will not intervene in the fight between females, as they have no effect on themselves anyway. The relationship between males and females is more manifested in tacit interaction, division of labor and parenting, entertainment, non-invasion, protection and protection, and cooperation is the main focus, and there is very little struggle. This looks very similar to the relationship between boys and girls in school.
Primitive humans, this kind of group marriage system without specific marriage constraints, continued to the patriarchal clan society, and the rise of patriarchal power led to polygamy and even monogamy, and fathers began to be able to determine their own children and stable spouses. It seems that the father's status has been greatly improved, but his father has been upgraded from a homeless person who "eats one person without worrying about the whole family" to a main role in family production, from a hand-off manager who "seeking flowers and asking about willows" to a steady and disciplined person who honestly share family responsibilities. Therefore, a stable family unit began to appear, and productivity was further improved.
In an era where there is not much surplus wealth, the first task of men and women after marriage is to jointly raise and educate their descendants, followed by joint division of labor, family-style elderly care and see offspring, joint maintenance of "public relations" to the outside world or fight against external threats. The division of labor and responsibilities of family members are extremely clear, and everyone should do their best to improve efficiency.
This is the original state of the original "responsible marriage": pursuing the maximization of the overall interests of the family. Only when the family is strong and the family is strong can one have a sense of security and worry-free life. Only mutual loyalty and trust are necessary conditions to ensure family cohesion. At that time, there is almost no condition to pursue personal interests or personal enjoyment. Divorce? Reunite with someone who is unfaithful to marriage? Isn’t that all weakening each other’s strength? Only fools can do it.
After the above discussion, you can understand the biggest feature of traditional marriage, which is 8 words: Division of labor, cooperation, loyalty and trust, and only under this strategy can you gain the greatest joint force of the family. This is why as long as you practice these 8 words of marriage and family, you will feel very warm and united. This is a kind of primitive cohesion.
There is a household name in China, " Tianxian with ", which tells the story of the Cowherd Dong Yong and the Seven Fairies of Weaver Girl. The beautiful and kind Weaver Girl fell in love with the simple and honest young Dong Yong, and privately went down from heaven to the mortal world, breaking through numerous obstacles and becoming a married couple with Dong Yong. The theme song "Couple and Side Return Home" has become a classic sung, especially the lyrics of the theme song: "The birds on the trees are paired with each other, and the green waters and green mountains bring smiles. From now on, no longer suffer from the suffering of enslavement, and both husband and wife return home. If you plow the fields and come to weave cloth, I will carry water to water the garden. Although the cold kiln can escape from wind and rain, the love between husband and wife is bitter and sweet.You and I are like mandarin ducks, flying together in the world." The lyrics actually deeply reveal: the most reasonable division of labor between husband and wife in marriage, and the marriage values that both parties should have. This story reflects the three yearnings for the simplest marriage in the hearts of ordinary people:
(1) Poor boys can also marry the second generation of heaven. (2) Abandon the secular world, be loyal to feelings, and love is greater than interests. (3) Responsible marriage and reasonable division of labor. Only by matching men and women and following nature can marriage become The "Immortal Fitness" I long for.
Unfortunately, this traditional marriage environment began to collapse after the social divorce rate has risen and men and women need to compete on the same stage. Because the reality of large-scale divorces repeatedly reminds married couples: property and status may be distributed again. You cannot be foolish in your life and loyal to your family. You must think clearly about your interests and what is yours. In addition, life pressure forces men and women to start working on the same stage, which has never been published in history. Things I have had: The division of labor between men and women is converging, and men and women start to do things they don’t like or are not suitable for doing. For the first time, men and women compete directly or even confront each other in the work field. From then on, the original intimate cooperative relationship between men and women gradually evolved to the fact that men and women also started to fight openly and secretly, and the depth of the secret battle between men and women is much more intense than what we feel.
. Start with the divorce incident of the idol I admire.
until May 2021 saw a news report "Bill Gates announced his divorce"! Several colleagues and I couldn't believe our eyes at the time, and the reason for the divorce was only a few words: "We don't believe that we can grow together in the future." The words seemed to be unexplained, but in fact they were very clear. Chinese people like to vaguely say that "the fate has ended", but in fact, "cannot grow together" can be directly understood literally: the husband and wife have lost common language in terms of concepts, ideas, career direction, common hobbies, and even outlook on life and values, and have lost the foundation for mutual comfort and mutual promotion, and cannot adapt or reconcile each other. The so-called difference in Tao is not about making plans.
In the context of the rapid development of society and the divorce rate is getting higher and higher, the divorce between Mr. Bill Gates and his wife is actually very common, and the unusual is their identity. The real reason for their divorce will definitely not be a big surprise, so there is no need to go into it. It is precisely because of their special identities and a successful example of family and career over the past decades that their divorce once again asks a few clichés: What is a marriage that has lasted for thousands of years? Why do people get married? What is the relationship between husband and wife? Compared with ancient ancestors, men and women have more "troubles" to meet each other every day for no reason.
Is the essence of modern marriage just a cooperation agreement in life? Both husband and wife are similar to Party A and Party B. This long-term and unfixed agreement begins to take effect when marriage certificate is obtained, and it ends abruptly when conventional conditions such as "the fate is over" or "cannot grow together". When the agreement is terminated, Party A and Party B shall redistribute property or rights in accordance with local laws or by themselves, or by fighting for each other. Is this true in modern marriage? Let's look down.
(To be continued, updated daily, serialized first and then published, thank you for your support! Original hardships, please respect the achievements of the creator)
