1
My name is Xiaomin, I am 29 years old this year.
In addition to me, I also have an older brother who is 8 years older than me. My brother has been very kind to me since he was a child and loves me very much. He thinks of me if you have any delicious food.
My brother's grades have always been not very good, but my grades have always been good. He didn't agree with it and always said that it was his honor to have a sister like me who had good grades.
After my brother graduated from technical secondary school, his parents wanted him to go to junior college, but he refused. In those years, my father fell seriously ill and his family fell sharply. My brother said that it’s almost the same whether he goes to school or not. It’s better to go out to make money early, help some at home, and help me get into college.
When I was in the third year of junior high school, my brother got married. Before getting married, my brother told me that even if I have a sister-in-law, I will always be his favorite sister. He also asked me to study hard and take the college entrance exam in the future, so I don’t have to worry about tuition fees, he is the one who is the older brother.
Brother said this, which made me feel very warm, and I also swear in my heart that I must be nice to him.
Just like what my brother said, with my sister-in-law, there is another person who loves me in this world, rather than another person who competes with me for my brother.
My sister-in-law was also very nice to me. At that time, she and her brother worked in Dongguan . Every time the season changed, she would buy me the latest clothes and send them back.
2
After having my niece, my sister-in-law was still very good to me.
When my little niece was a child, my mother helped me take care of her for a while. My mother has a bad waist. If the child is older, she can't hold the child. Therefore, my sister-in-law had to send her niece to her mother's house.
My sister-in-law's mother had a small house in the county town. At that time, as long as I rested, I would go to the city with my mother to see my little niece. My mother never goes empty-handed every time she goes there, and she will bring the vegetables, eggs and meat at home.
When the little niece was going to kindergarten, her brother and sister-in-law saved some money and bought a house in the city.
At the beginning, my parents lived in that house and helped pick up and drop off my niece. I finished college all the way and studied for graduate school. I work part-time and study to earn living expenses, and my brother and sister-in-law usually pay for the tuition.
It can be said that I am very grateful to my brother and sister-in-law. My parents also said that my sister-in-law is really good and a solid person.
I thought our days would always be so peaceful.
Unexpectedly, I had just graduated from graduate school for more than a year and had not gotten married yet, my mother died of a heart attack.
After my mother passed away, my father's health also collapsed. He couldn't even take good care of himself, let alone take care of my little niece.
There was no way, so my dad had to go back to his hometown and we asked the neighbors to help take care of him. As for my little niece, my sister-in-law can only continue to let her mother take care of her.
Every weekend, I will go to accompany my niece to do my homework, and buy her delicious food. So, she likes me as an aunt very much.
3
When the little niece was in the sixth grade of elementary school, her sister-in-law became pregnant again. This time, she gave birth to a son.
At this time, she and my brother had settled in Dongguan through hard work. After the little nephew was born, they hired a nanny to take care of him.
The only thing that gave them a headache was their little niece. She clearly promised to go to Dongguan to go to junior high school. Since her younger brother was born, she has never gone to Dongguan and insisted on studying in her hometown.
Brother and sister-in-law wanted to force her to stay in Dongguan, but she said she was not alive and threatened them and ran out secretly. Fortunately, she is fine.
The brother and sister-in-law had no choice but to agree to the little niece coming back to junior high school. But they also agreed with her that she could only live on campus when she came back to school. Because the little niece's grandmother wants to go over and help her take care of her younger brother.
My brother and sister-in-law told me that I would let my niece come back every weekend and live in my house. They would give me 1,000 yuan in living expenses every month.
At this time, I was already married and discussed with my husband, and he thought it was OK.
Unexpectedly, during the start of school, my niece would call her parents and cry every day. Because she felt it was uncomfortable to live on campus, she couldn't eat well, and couldn't sleep well, so she was very uncomfortable.
has been tossing too many times, and my sister-in-law asked my niece what she really wanted?
The little niece said that she didn't want to live in the school anymore and wanted to live back to her own home. Their school can be a day or a living place, and many children from the townships are living place.
My sister-in-law disagreed and said that her little niece was alone and she had no adult to take care of her, so she had to go to evening self-study at night. It was too late to go back, so they were worried.
But the little niece cried all day long and didn't want to go to school. She said that her brother and sister-in-law were partial and only liked her younger brother, but didn't like her. My brother and sister-in-law had no choice but to call me and ask me to go to school to comfort her.
I went there several times, and every time my niece saw me, she would cry. It was also very pitiful to see her crying.
I feel sorry for her, but I can't do anything.
4
Unexpectedly, two days ago, my brother and sister-in-law called me to discuss with me, otherwise, I would let my niece do a day and let her live in my house. They give me 3,000 yuan in living expenses every month.
I did not agree immediately, just said that I would discuss with my husband.
I asked my husband about his opinion, but he disagreed. He said that it is too much responsibility to help my brother and sister-in-law take care of the children.
I said that on weekends, weren’t we taking care of our niece?
My husband said that it’s different. It’s not that easy to take care of children on a daily basis, let alone our daughter is just one year old. We are not busy ourselves.
. It is too much responsibility to raise a child. My husband said that my little niece is now in adolescence, and it is not good for children at this time. The most important thing is that my little niece has been a left-behind child since she was a child. She lacks love, so where can we take good care of it?
Adolescent children, we must not only take 120 cautions, but also take responsibility.
The child is okay, it’s okay; what if there is something wrong? Wouldn’t the two families become enemies?
We are just the child’s aunt and uncle, not biological parents. For the child, that feeling is different.
I thought about it for two days, and my husband said it was fine. It was indeed a heavy responsibility to take care of the child, and I had to pick it up and drop it off every day, especially for girls. I had a lot of thoughts at this time.
I can’t guarantee that I, as an aunt, can do it well, let alone I am not her mother, and the feeling I give is still different.
5
I tactfully called my brother and sister-in-law, but they seemed to be unable to understand my rejection, and they still persisted.
My sister-in-law even said that she begged me. If her second son was not too young now and she was busy with work, she wouldn't have been like this. My sister-in-law also said, I am an elementary school teacher, so it will be fine to teach my niece well.
But, I'm in a dilemma.
Brother and sister-in-law said that in a few days, they will come back early and settle their niece first.
My husband said, let me talk to my brother and sister-in-law openly, for the sake of the children's good, they should really keep the children with them. If conditions did not allow it before, my brother and sister-in-law have settled down and their income is pretty good.
However, what should I do if my niece still doesn’t want to go there and my brother and sister-in-law insist on letting us take care of the children? How to say it?
is very anxious. Can you give me some advice?
6
Taotao said:
suggest Xiaomin tells what he wants to say, such as children lack love in childhood, such as how lack of love affects children, and you must tell your brother and sister-in-law about what they want to say.
It is obvious that the little niece doesn't want to go to Dongguan, and is celebrating her parents. She felt that her parents were partial to her younger brother.
The little niece is not necessarily unable to adapt to the life of living on campus, which is only part of the reason. The most important thing is that she wants to attract the attention of her parents and hopes that they will give her more love.
And these are things that Xiaomin, the aunt who can't give to the child.
The love given by my aunt is always an aunt-like love. This is completely different from the love parents give to their children.
I believe Xiaomin understands all these.
If the brother and sister-in-law really do it for the good of the child, they should also understand.
There are also suggestions for brothers and sisters to listen to the child’s voice, perhaps this is also a breakthrough.
really doesn't work, you can also take your child to see a psychological counselor, maybe it can help her.
Dear, peach fans, do you have any good suggestions? Everyone is welcome to leave a message!
