I didn’t think Zhang Rong wanted to meet my old classmate at this time, so I turned around and left, but she shouted my name loudly. As an outsider, I watched the plot of just a few minutes and objectively concluded that she was the mistress who destroyed other people's families,

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1

I thought Zhang Rong would not want to meet my old classmate at this time, so I turned around and left, but she shouted my name loudly.

"Li Tan!"

I was a little surprised and turned to look at her running towards me full of surprise.

"Wow! It's really you!"

The joy of meeting an old classmate was written all over her face, which made my chaotic emotions difficult to deal with. I didn't know how to react for a while.

The left side of her face was still red, and even finger marks were faintly visible.

The hospital is a mirror that reflects the world, and no story can be considered bizarre.

As an outsider, I watched the plot of just a few minutes and objectively concluded that she is the mistress who destroys other people's families, but she is pregnant but does not want it.

The man begged, but his wife found out that she came to the hospital to catch the rape, and directed all her firepower at Zhang Rong. Finally, he was pulled away by a man, and the story came to a brief end.

The entanglement between the three people only lasted for two or three minutes, but I subjectively believe that the one who was hurt the most was Zhang Rong.

"You..." I looked at her face, feeling a little distressed, but I was afraid of ruining the atmosphere, so I had to say in the same old-fashioned way: "Long time no see."

Zhang Rong seemed to have just realized what he had just experienced, and looked at me There was no longer any surprise in his eyes, and they quickly turned dim.

She slowly lowered her head and said awkwardly, "Long time no see."

The atmosphere finally entered the awkward range. I scratched my head uncomfortably, thinking about how to continue the topic, but Zhang Rong had already said goodbye.

After her back disappeared, I noticed that many people around me were still interrogating me with their eyes.

At this time, a colleague came from behind, poked my back with gossip, and asked in a coquettish manner: "Do you know each other?"

I nodded, looked up at the direction in which Zhang Rong disappeared, and replied softly: " Yes, I know her. She is my first love. "

2

When she was in school, Zhang Rong had a very unpleasant nickname, "Mother Rooster".

Because she always raises her chin slightly, with a proud attitude, like a big rooster.

Her pride has its own origin. Because of her good academic performance, the teacher loves her very much. Although her classmates would give her unpleasant nicknames in private, no one dared to make her look bad in person.

Of course, part of the reason is that her family is in the live poultry business, so people always say that she has a lingering smell of chicken feces.

At first, Zhang Rong was very angry about this kind of thing and reported it to the teacher.

But although the teacher upheld justice for her, it actually aroused everyone's rebellious heart. Almost everyone began to unite and completely regarded her as an enemy.

Especially the boys, they know that Zhang Rong and I have been in the same school since elementary school, so they always ask me for dirty information about her.

I have always been on the edge of the class, and I don’t know anyone well. Even though Zhang Rong and I have been in the same class several times over the years at the same school, we are not familiar with each other at all, and we have only spoken very little.

But after all, I am already a high school student, so I don’t think I should be so malicious towards a girl. In particular, Zhang Rong seemed a little unsociable, but actually did not do anything unforgivable, so she politely advised: "She is a very nice person, she is the kind of person who has a cold face and a warm heart."

did not expect this This sentence actually bound me to Zhang Rong, and we became the "young couple" who were often teased by our classmates.

I was a little angry, but I didn’t dare to explode. I could only watch those people sitting on the table in front of me, behaving in an exaggerated manner and humiliating me with words.

In the end, Zhang Rong couldn't bear it any more. First, he hit the leading boy with a book, and then started to fight with him.

The boys did not show mercy to Zhang Rong just because she was a girl, but Zhang Rong did not fall behind and even beat the boy until he begged for mercy.

Because there was a fight in the class, parents of both parties were invited.

At that time, meeting parents in school was always something that deserved everyone's attention.

The students were lying on the window and saw Zhang Rong's parents -

Zhang Rong's mother was born thin and skinny, and her race characteristics seemed to be incompletely evolved. It was really hard to imagine that she would have a figure. The mother of Zhang Rong, who is tall and has a delicate face.

"She is a lame!"

Someone shouted this in a low voice, and everyone discovered that Zhang Rong's mother was not only weak in her legs and feet, but also seemed to have something missing from her right arm.

"She is missing a hand!"

Someone else solved the puzzle.

Because the main fault was not with Zhang Rong, and the teachers had always favored Zhang Rong, the matter ended with the Zhang Rong family compensating half of the boy’s medical expenses.

But from then on, everyone's dislike of Zhang Rong did not lessen, but instead became filled with an inexplicable fear.

This does not include me.

I even envy her, she has her own goals and knows where her direction is. Unlike me, my family situation is average but full of confusion.

Anyway, she saved me.

In order to thank me, I secretly stuffed a handful of candies into the hole in her desk after school, but she caught me.

I was still bending down to stuff the candy. She looked straight at me and asked with some disbelief: "You put the bugs in this morning too?" Inadvertently, the candy in my hand fell all over the floor.

There were only two of us in the classroom at this time. After the candy landed, we all looked down at the candy on the ground, and then fell into a long silence.

In the end, it was Zhang Rong who bent down to pick up the candy first. When I saw this, I quickly squatted down as well.

We divided the areas in a very tacit understanding. She picked up what was at her feet, and I picked up what was on my side.

After picking up all the candies, we stood up facing each other, but looked at each other and fell into silence.

I know it's my turn to break the silence this time.

I handed out the candy in my hand, "Thank you."

Zhang Rong did not accept it, but put the candy in her hand on my desk and said inhumanely: "I don't like sweets. "

I thought of something again, and quickly explained: "I didn't put any insects in the hole in your desk!" "

" I know."

She bent down and took the book from the hole in her desk, and put it in her schoolbag. She left, leaving me standing there alone, stupidly watching her leave.

thank you but failed.

I began to pay attention to Zhang Rong's preferences, and sometimes I would even look at her in a daze unconsciously.

Zhang Rong works really hard and takes every class very seriously. Even after class, except for going to the toilet and fetching water, she has been writing questions in her seat.

Her hard work seems so out of place in our inferior school in the county.

It’s no wonder that the teachers treat her as a treasure.

Soon, the head teacher arranged to change seats and started a group-one plan.

He originally arranged the position, but I don’t know where I got the courage. I went to the class teacher in private and told me that I wanted to be my deskmate with Zhang Rong.

The head teacher was very pleased and agreed without hesitation.

When Zhang Rong and I were sitting together, the classmates made that playful coughing sound again, which made people feel physically uncomfortable.

I only dared to glance at Zhang Rong furtively and found that she was still immersed in the world of learning and didn't care about other people's boring jokes at all.

Being at the same table as Zhang Rong is of course beneficial. The most important thing is that my grades have risen rapidly, which surprised the teacher.

I am very grateful to Zhang Rong, but besides answering my questions, she is not willing to talk to me at all.

Moreover, after being my deskmate for a long time, I still don’t know her hobbies besides studying.

But soon, things took a turn for the better.

One day after school, I accidentally followed her. When I looked up, I saw her standing not far away, looking straight at a little girl.

To be precise, he should be looking at the doll in the little girl's hand.

At that time, Zhang Rong seemed to have shed his coldness and became softer. Especially the yearning in his eyes is much more popular than the cold learning machine.

I wanted to give Zhang Rong a doll, but because I had no money, I had to find a way to make it myself.

But I am not a handy person, so I failed again and again. Fortunately, with the accumulation of experience, the doll looks better every time, but this beauty is only in comparison. In fact, it is impossible to get rid of it.

But Huangtian paid off. With my unremitting efforts, I made a doll that can be given as a gift.

Just when I was about to give it to Zhang Rong, something happened to her.

4

I used to think that Zhang Rong looked nothing like her mother because her appearance was completely inherited from her father.

Later I found out that she was not the other party’s biological daughter at all.

Zhang Rong’s adoptive mother was unable to find a home because of her disability. One day on the way home, Zhang Rong was found abandoned in a farmland stuffed into a leather bag.

Because he felt sorry for the child, he took her home and treated her as his own flesh and blood.

After so many years, I have not heard who her biological parents are. But as the college entrance examination approached, her biological parents came to recognize her relatives and said they would take Zhang Rong back to her real home.

Zhang Rong refused, so her biological parents threatened to sue her adoptive mother because she did not have legally recognized adoption procedures. They even directly accused her adoptive mother of being a human trafficker.

This incident caused quite a stir, but many adults said that Zhang Rong was obviously abandoned by his biological parents. Seeing that with good grades, he would definitely be admitted to college and have a promising future, he came to take advantage.

Their son is not living up to expectations, and they have a ready-made daughter who is sure to be promising. How could they let it go?

Soon Zhang Rong took a leave of absence from school and finally returned to school. Everyone thought that the matter had been settled, but when it came time for the college entrance examination, Zhang Rong disappeared.

No one knew where she went. After her biological parents called the police, they didn't bother to find her. Only her poor adoptive mother, dragging her disabled body, followed a few clues and traveled all over the country to find her daughter.

Fortunately, Zhang Rong knew what his biological parents wanted, so he deliberately turned the situation into what it is now. She lost her use value, and naturally she was no longer valued by her biological parents.

When she and her adoptive mother were leaving, they came to see me.

I couldn't believe it was her at first. After I was sure, I ran towards her desperately, and even fell hard when I was about to get close to her.

I just felt embarrassed, lowering my head and not daring to look at her.

After Zhang Rong helped me up, he solemnly said thank you.

I looked at her sheepishly.

"My mother told me that you have been helping her while I was away."

My face turned redder, and I wanted to speak, but I stuttered, and finally I simply shut my mouth.

Zhang Rong handed me a note.

"My mother and I are leaving. This is my contact information. If possible, I hope we can chat occasionally."

I looked at the string of numbers, full of surprise, and held them tightly in my hands.

"You are my first friend in life, thank you." Zhang Rong said very seriously, and his eyes even turned slightly red.

My emotions were a bit complicated. There was something that had been accumulated in my chest for a long time and urgently needed to be vented. But I didn’t say anything for a long time. When Zhang Rong was about to leave, I stopped her in a hurry and said, "Wait a minute!"

I think of the unsent doll.

hurriedly ran home, took the doll and rushed back, but when I went back, Zhang Rong was no longer where he was.

I thought of the note she gave me. I searched all over my body but couldn't find it, so I had no choice but to look for it along the road.

That day, I searched back and forth many times on the short road, and even went through all the trash cans, but I still couldn’t find the note with Zhang Rong’s contact number.

And when I was rummaging through the trash can, the doll I worked so hard to make was bitten by a stray dog ​​without paying attention.

That day, it was obviously a sunny day, but it started pouring rain in my heart.

The broken doll, the lost note, the setting sun...all of them told me coldly and ruthlessly:

The story of Zhang Rong and I ended here.

5

My college entrance examination results were not ideal, so I could only go to a junior college.

Because of the question of whether specialist is worth it, quarrels broke out one after another at home, but in the end I took my luggage and embarked on the road to report.

is a city not far from home. In order to reduce the burden on my family, I work part-time most of the time.

That day I was advertising for an electric car owner. When a group of me and I were riding electric cars around the city, we saw Zhang Rong in front of the school.

She was wearing a school uniform, holding her schoolbag strap with both hands, walking slowly with her head lowered.

My heart was severely tugged, and then it beat wildly at an uncontrollable speed.

"Zhang Rong!"

It took me a long time to find my voice, break away from the team, abandon the car, and run towards her like crazy.

For some reason, Zhang Rong ran away after seeing me. When I caught up with her, she seemed to recognize me and called my name in surprise.

I was panting from exhaustion, bent down to rest, and asked with a somewhat complaining smile: "You just recognized me?"

Zhang Rong was a little embarrassed, tilted his head slightly to look at me, and said with a shallow smile: "You It's much darker than before. "

My skin color is indeed much darker than before during military training and working outside for a long time.

I scratched my head in embarrassment. Zhang Rong looked at me and suddenly laughed.

When Zhang Rong is not smiling, she looks very irritable because of her naturally overturned lips. But once she smiles, not only will she reveal a cute tiger tooth, but a shallow pear dimple will also appear on the right corner of her mouth.

It seemed that this was the first time I saw Zhang Rong like this. I was a little stunned, but I quickly looked away and pinched one of my hands, trying to control my chaotic emotions.

After returning the car, I invited Zhang Rong to have dinner with me.

She didn't refuse.

We bought two portions of grilled cold noodles and soda drinks from a roadside stall, and sat on the curb to reminisce about old times.

I told her about her not waiting for me, and her expression suddenly changed, and she said sorry with guilt.

I'm not blaming her, I was a little flustered, secretly howling that I said the wrong thing.

"My biological parents still refuse to let me go."

Zhang Rong slowly told me what she had experienced recently.

Originally, her biological parents thought she had no use value and wanted to give up. However, because their son was suddenly diagnosed with a serious illness and needed a lot of money, they once again set their sights on Zhang Rong and her adoptive mother.

I carefully checked Zhang Rong's expression. I thought she would show pain, but she was very calm, even a little numb.

She only said the matter briefly, but I knew how serious the consequences would be.

She is now repeating her studies and is still working hard for the future. But if her biological parents continue to entangle her, her life may no longer be bright.

I unconsciously showed sympathy.

Zhang Rong noticed it keenly, and quickly changed the topic and asked me: "How are you doing recently?"

I also briefly talked about my situation, and Zhang Rong listened for a long time before speaking.

"There may not be a way out of college, so you should study hard. Isn't it good to upgrade from to ?" Zhang Rong said with a wry smile: "No matter how difficult your family's situation is, it shouldn't be as bad as mine, right?"

This is indeed the case. In any case, my parents are very healthy and capable of working. Although they don’t earn much, there is absolutely no problem in supporting my education.

My parents are different from ordinary parents. They are not superstitious that knowledge can change destiny.

even thinks that being able to enter society early and make money is the destiny of ordinary people like us.

I followed Zhang Rong’s words and no longer indulged in part-time jobs, but studied hard. In my spare time, I would chat with Zhang Rong.

6

She was in a difficult situation.

If she doesn’t give money to her biological parents, not only will she not have a peaceful life, her adoptive mother may also go to jail.

But she has to study hard and has no time to make money.

As for the adoptive mother, she was already in poor health. After several hardships, her condition became worse day by day. The speed at which she makes money cannot keep up with the level of exploitation by her biological parents.

I would like to help, but I am really short of money.

Gradually, I became too embarrassed to go to her.

Not long after, she came to me and asked me to take care of her adoptive mother.

I don’t know why, but her expression made me feel scared. I asked her where she was going and what she was going to do, but she didn’t answer at all.

Although I didn't get the answer, this was the first time Zhang Rong entrusted me with something, so I didn't refuse.

It’s just that I couldn’t sit still at her house. It was obvious that her adoptive mother also noticed that something was wrong and kept asking me about Zhang Rong’s whereabouts.

Soon, her adoptive mother howled: "Isn't she going home?"

Zhang Rong's face that looked at death suddenly appeared in my mind, and I was so panicked that I quickly took her adoptive mother. Find her.

But when we arrived, Zhang Rong was lying on a stretcher and was being carried to the ambulance by medical staff.

I heard that it was Zhang Rong who came to argue with his biological parents. As a result, the two sides had a dispute. I don’t know why the knife was used, and blood was seen.

Her biological mother was imprisoned, and Zhang Rong couldn't hide her joy at saving her life. Her biological father came to her door several times and insulted her for being a snake-hearted person, killing her mother and brother, and being worse than a beast, but she pretended not to listen.

What exactly happened that day, I have no way of knowing. I only know that Zhang Rong got what she wanted.

Because her adoptive mother was already in poor health and fell ill after this incident, I consciously became the mother and daughter's support.

That period of time should be the most intimate time between me and Zhang Rong. We got along day and night and talked about everything. It seemed that our relationship would always be so harmonious.

There are always people who like to make fun of us.

But at this time, we were not as physically uncomfortable as before, but invariably blushed.

I like Zhang Rong, and I think she also likes me a little bit.

Therefore, I have been looking for opportunities to pierce this layer of window paper, but I always feel that there is no good opportunity.

A month later, the quiet life once again made waves.

Zhang Rong's biological father came to the door with a knife and said that his son died because he had no money for medical treatment. Zhang Rong was not only responsible for sending her biological mother to prison, but also because she and her adoptive mother did not respond in time. Pay money.

Because there had been several troubles in the past, the hospital had strengthened security. This time, he was unable to go upstairs at all. He was pinned to the square by the security guards and could not move. He could only shout hysterically and try to type out sentence after sentence. A vicious curse.

Zhang Rong didn't care, and even stood by the window to watch the ugly behavior of his biological father.

Zhang Rong does look a lot like his father, but in his heart, she is just an object that can be used.

I can understand her, so I just look at her quietly.

But her adoptive mother, an elderly person, could not stand the mental torture again and again, and passed away not long after.

Zhang Rong cried very sadly and asked me again and again if she had really done something wrong.

I didn’t know how to answer, so I could only use all my strength to wrap her tightly in my arms.

Fate should not be like this to her, I kept cursing God in my heart. But I also swore in my heart that I would do my best to protect her and give her a bright future.

However, contrary to expectations, after my tense nerves were slightly relieved, Zhang Rong ran to the rooftop.

7

She attempted suicide.

I tried my best to save her.

This was the first time I was so close to death. I was trembling with fear, but Zhang Rong just looked at me holding her hand tightly and said coldly: "Let go."

How could I let go?

I tried to sit up and almost begged: "Zhang Rong, you still have me, you are not alone."

Zhang Rong's eyes were empty and she looked up at me, but I couldn't find mine in her eyes. figure.

I called her name over and over again, but she was still unwilling to respond to me at all.

Zhang Rong disappeared again.

But fortunately, I can confirm that she has not committed suicide again.

I don’t know how to find her, so I can only pray to God over and over again to give us a chance to meet again.

Later, when I was taking the college entrance examination, I suddenly remembered it and hurried back to my alma mater to ask the teacher.

Zhang Rong has always been obsessed with getting into college. After all, her student status is still here, so she will most likely come back to take the college entrance examination.

But I thought wrongly, she did not come back.

It seems that going to school is no longer her goal in life.

I regret a little, regretting that I was slacking off and letting her disappear from my world again and again.

I stood outside the examination room, looking at the students, and suddenly remembered what Zhang Rong said before.

She said she wanted to apply for medical school, to become a doctor, to save lives, to fight against death...

I was no longer obsessed with finding Zhang Rong's whereabouts, but chose to drop out of school, retake the college entrance examination, and strive to become a doctor. famous doctor.

Although the process was not smooth, I finally got what I wanted. Because every time I want to give up, I always think of Zhang Rong’s proud face.

I thought maybe one day we would meet in the hospital as colleagues.

But many years have passed, and I still have no news about Zhang Rong.

During this period, my family arranged many blind dates for me. The one most likely to get married is a thin girl named Jiajia.

When I first saw her, my inner reaction was to compare her with Zhang Rong.

Zhang Rong's temperament is rather bitter, while Jiajia's words and deeds are sweet.

Although she is also a girl, she grew up in a very healthy environment because her family did not favor boys over girls. Her family even favored her as a girl, so she always exuded the happiness of being preferred.

She likes to eat sweets very much. Every time she goes on a date, she can't walk away when she sees the sweets and has to buy a lot of them.

I reminded her out of professional habit, but she replied playfully: "People who like to eat sweets are soft-hearted. Didn't your mother tell you this old saying?"

It was indeed the first time I heard this saying, I couldn't help but ask her: "Are you making this up?"

She smiled slyly and said nothing.

And when I looked at her, I still thought of Zhang Rong.

She really doesn’t like sweets. When

was hospitalized, a child forcefully stuffed a candy into her mouth, but she spit it out quickly.

The child was a little disbelieving, "You should taste the sweetness, right?"

Zhang Rong nodded honestly.

"Then you still spit it out?"

The child couldn't believe it, and I couldn't understand it either, but Zhang Rong didn't give any explanation.

However, at this moment, I somewhat understood Zhang Rong.

People who have never tasted sweetness will be afraid that the sweetness will disappear, so it is better to never taste it.

8

When I got the news from Zhang Rong, my family was preparing for my engagement with Jiajia.

If this news comes to me later, then I should be very cooperative in getting engaged to Jiajia. After all, I don't hate her.

But this is not the case.

I confessed to Jiajia that I have a white moonlight in my heart that I can never let go of.

After meeting my first love who was pregnant by chance in the hospital, I turned around and broke up with my soon-to-be-engaged girlfriend.

I originally thought that Jiajia would be very angry and even beat me for it. Anyway, I'm willing to accept it. So when I finished, I closed my eyes and prepared for the punishment.

But Jiajia did not show anger, she just asked calmly to hear our story.

I don’t know where to start, so I will say whatever comes to mind. Jiajia listened very seriously, but after listening, she just said: "I don't think you two are suitable."

I was a little angry, and quickly asked: "Why?"

Jiajia shrugged and just said: "A woman's intuition ."

Anyway, fortunately, this matter did not cause much trouble. It's just that my parents blamed me for having a brain problem for giving up such an excellent partner as Jiajia.

I don’t know how to explain it, so I can only endure my parents’ scolding silently.

After finally waiting for this matter to completely pass, I hurried to find Zhang Rong.

But when I found her, I found out that she was married.

Looks like she is very happy.

I hid aside, like a fool, watching them walking hand in hand, as close as one person.

I think of the current popular words, "spare tire", "dog licker", "takeover man"...

I seem to be somewhat related to them, but they seem to have no connection at all.

After all, we never really established a relationship and lost touch for a long time.

I stood on the roadside and smoked a cigarette before embarking on the return journey.

During this period, I kept thinking about the past and studying the wrong step I made.

When I got home, I was in a state of disbelief. My parents thought I regretted not choosing Jiajia, so they started to get busy again.

When Jiajia contacted me, I had not yet reacted. I waited for her to explain the situation and quickly apologized.

"What happened to you and her?"

I wanted to lie, but in the end I confessed: "She is married."

Jiajia didn't speak for a long time. When I was about to hang up, she said softly: "I'll give you a chance. Are you willing to marry me? "

Hearing what she said, I was indeed a little moved. After all, Zhang Rong was already married, and as time passed, the love he had when he was young seemed to have turned into a kind of unwillingness.

However, my silence made Jiajia mistakenly think that it was She refused, so she hung up.

I wanted to explain, but my fingers didn't have the strength to press the callback.

Hesitation was also the answer.

Jiajia was a smart person and didn't misunderstand.

I tried to return to normal life, but I didn't know why. , the originally not very persistent emotions became more and more uncontrollable like a spark of restraint.

I still couldn't hold it back, so I pretended to meet Zhang Rong by chance.

She met me. I was very surprised and took me to eat.

She was so enthusiastic that I couldn't bear it.

At first, she was asking about my situation. After I calmed down a little, I started to ask her.

I don’t know if it was my misunderstanding, but after hearing my inquiry, she felt that she was trying to prove that she was doing well now, and she became more excited than before.

She said that she had sex after she separated from me. After working in a factory, she later worked in sales, and soon she met her current husband.

Her husband was very kind to her and pulled her out of the abyss of darkness.

In fact, what she said was very subtle, so subtle that some people wouldn't even care.

I listened very carefully at first, but then it went in one ear and out the other.

I was serious because it was a pity that she had not fulfilled her life dream. She was so eager to get into college and a bright future.

I didn’t want to hear it because she kept praising her husband and introducing her happy life after marriage.

“That’s it, it’s good, it’s good...”

I kept perfunctory. Her inner emotions were complicated and confusing, and she could only drink water to cover it up.

Finally, she asked: "Li Tan, are you not married yet? "

9

After meeting Zhang Rong, my mood became much more stable, and the number of times I thought of her also steadily decreased.

After all, she was someone else's wife.

I used my morality to suppress this longing.

Moreover, She didn't seem so shining in my heart.

There was no pride on her face, only the softness polished by reality.

My parents were still worried about my life-long event. Not long after, Jiajia sent an invitation. Invited me to her wedding.

When her parents saw this, they expressed regret, "Jiajia is so nice, she has a good family, she is a well-behaved and sensible person, and she has a good job. Why did you give up?" "

Yes, such a good person, why should he put his lifelong happiness on me?

I just gave Jiajia a big red envelope and did not attend the wedding.

My parents were invited by Jiajia's parents to attend.

They showed me the photos of Jiajia’s wedding.

Jiajia was even more beautiful as a bride.

I couldn’t help but imagine what Zhang Rong looked like when she got married.

I had never seen her in a skirt, so I was a little curious.

Some time later, Jiajia's parents introduced me to a girl, so I had to go to the appointment before we met. Destined.

A girl of the same type as Jia Jia, her whole body reveals the innocence and kindness inherent in girls.

I think of Zhang Rong again.

I prefer the bitter temperament struck by fate. But it reveals a strength that cannot be ignored.

I realized that Zhang Rong will always be the cold moon in the sky and irreplaceable.

can be nothing more than that.

Time flies so fast. Zhang Rong and I seem to be strangers and have no contact with each other anymore.

When they met again, this time, she was accused of being a mistress in the hospital.

We finally met in the hospital, but not in the way I had expected.

I laugh at God who loves to tease people and always makes them so embarrassed.

We are no longer young. In our thirties, we have completed half of the journey of life.

It’s impossible for me not to ask about her.

It turns out that her first marriage did not last long. When

married her husband, they were both very poor and did not even have a decent wedding. The original vows of eternal love were all defeated by the trivial life of firewood, rice, oil, salt, sauce, vinegar and tea.

Looking at her unmotivated husband, Zhang Rong chose to divorce.

Later, she met her current man. I thought he was a good man, but I didn't expect him to be even more hateful. He was already married, but he deceived her into becoming a mistress.

A few simple words can sum up everything she has experienced over the years.

I began to regret again, regretting that I was too rational and missed the opportunity to be with her.

I blamed myself for the suffering she suffered after the divorce, hoping to have a chance at redemption.

I stood in front of Zhang Rong’s house, raising my hand but not daring to put it down.

Before I could think of what to say in the first sentence, the door suddenly opened.

Zhang Rong was carrying a garbage bag. He was startled when he saw me. After a while, he asked, "Are you looking for me?"

I put down my hand and nodded awkwardly.

After placing the garbage bag at the door, she turned sideways and invited me into the house.

I don’t know why, I was very nervous, and I hesitated a little before I took a step.

10

The room was decorated neatly by Zhang Rong. She let me sit wherever I wanted, and then poured me a glass of hot water.

When I am nervous, I like to hold a water glass to get some peace.

I didn’t know what to say, so my eyes looked around uncontrollably.

Zhang Rong didn't say anything. He sat diagonally across from me and looked at me calmly, as if waiting for me to speak.

After working hard for a long time, I drank the cold water in one gulp. After putting down the water glass, I confessed the reason for my visit.

Zhang Rong was a little unbelievable and even came over to test the temperature of my forehead.

I broke away and said seriously: "I am very clear-headed."

Zhang Rong slowly put down his hands, his eyes never leaving mine, as if he wanted to find flaws in my eyes.

Obviously, she didn't find it.

But I didn’t expect that she would kick me out of the house right after.

I was a little puzzled, so I stood at the door and knocked on the door frantically. It took a long time before I heard Zhang Rong shouting from inside the room: "Who do you think you are? Who do you think I am? Why do you think so!"

I have never hurt Zhang Rong, but this does not mean that I can ignore the injuries she has suffered. .

I was indeed a little abrupt, so I didn’t bother anymore, apologized and left.

My parents somehow found out about Zhang Rong’s existence. They grabbed my ears and asked me what my head was made of.

"You have seen so many girls, which one is not better than that Zhang Rong? Let's not talk about the family first, let's talk about herself. She has been married and had sex. You are a good young man. If you want to marry her, you are not afraid of others laughing. Losing teeth? ”

Love and marriage are never just a matter of two people. It is precisely in this way that the value of these two relationships can be highlighted.

I told my parents my inner feelings verbatim, but of course they didn't understand.

"Even if she changes your life, do you have to marry her?"

This is what I expected. After all, human emotions are a very mysterious thing.

Although my parents don’t understand, I am not willing to give up.

I have regretted it again and again, and I don’t want to regret it anymore.

I began to take the initiative, seize every opportunity, and frequently appear in front of Zhang Rong.

At first, she could calmly ignore me. But then she seemed to see my determination, and asked a little defeated: "Don't you feel embarrassed?"

I asked her frankly: "Is it embarrassing to like someone?"

I know what others say about me.

"Spare tire", "dog licker", "takeover man", these words have almost overlapped with mine. But I just feel that the people who invent these words and use them as a basis to laugh at others are very pitiful.

Why should an unwavering relationship be ridiculed?

Is it wrong to want to be with the person you like?

I questioned Zhang Rong like this, but she asked me back: "So you think you are great? Very affectionate? Worthy of praise?"

I was stunned.

She said with some disdain: "You are just immersed in your own love story. Because you have been thinking about me for so many years, and now I am emotionally frustrated and rejected by others, so I have to accept you. "Emotional charity?"

I think the word "charity" is too harsh. "How can I be a charity?"

"Isn't it?" Zhang Rong looked at me and said slowly: "We are not in the right emotional position. The state of waiting. So you approaching me is a kind of charity."

11

Zhang Rong's words shocked me.

Because as she said, I was really sure that she would choose me and be with me before I confessed my feelings. This sense of superiority has penetrated into my heart without me realizing it.

But the reason for this superiority is her.

Without her, how could I have counterattacked and become a doctor? People in my hometown kept saying that the smoke was coming out of my ancestral grave.

I was a little frightened and started to reflect on myself.

My parents were very happy if I didn’t go to see Zhang Rong, thinking that I had given up.

The mother advised: "I heard that her biological father is mentally ill and has been wandering. If you really get together with her, something might happen one day!"

Her biological father...

I saw When he was that man, he would always hold a knife and yell, looking ferocious.

Now, after such a long time, when I think of him, I just think of a blurry face.

Is it possible, has that guy harassed her all these years?

Only then did I realize that although I kept saying that I missed her, I did not fully understand her past.

So, I began to carefully inquire about everything about Zhang Rong.

It turns out that she divorced her first husband not only because of money, but also because her father once came to her door and almost killed her.

He originally resented Zhang Rong. After Zhang Rong's biological mother died of illness in prison, he made it his goal to kill Zhang Rong for the rest of his life. Although

was sent to a mental hospital, he later said he had no money and escaped again. No one knows his whereabouts.

Also, she was not pregnant with that man's child. She just wanted to make the man look embarrassed in public as revenge.

The more I understand, the more I can understand why Zhang Rong left without saying goodbye, and why she rejected me.

Because in her heart, I am the candy she hates, the sweetness she hates.

She couldn’t guarantee how long my candy would last, so she could only choose to give up and escape.

This idea is a bit narcissistic. I want to ask Zhang Rong for confirmation.But before there was time, an accident happened.

I only recognized him when he showed the knife. Because every time we meet, he always looks like this.

I wanted to run away, but there were many people in the hospital. Knowing clearly that he was coming for me, I didn’t dare to run away, for fear that he might accidentally injure others.

So I worked hard to find an opportunity to subdue him.

But he didn't give me this chance at all. The sharp fruit knife slashed directly. I instinctively tried to block it, but my arm was cut off.

The blood flowed out quickly along the wound, and I had a premonition that I was doomed.

After he saw the blood, he became even more excited, but when he raised the knife, he still said, "Where is she!"

Like the roar of a wild beast, I suddenly thought of Zhang Rong's face.

Fortunately she is not here at this time.

But soon I felt heartbroken again. I really don’t know how she dealt with this kind of devil in the years that I couldn’t see.

Suddenly, I seemed to see Zhang Rong. I don’t know if it was an hallucination caused by me being close to death, but I always felt that her figure was becoming more and more real.

When she fell into my arms covered in blood, I realized that this was the real her, not an illusion.

In order to save me, she blocked one knife after another.

Because of her, the rescuers had the opportunity to step forward and control the devil.

However, she closed her eyes forever.

No matter how much I shouted or prayed, her closed eyes never opened again, just like every time she left in this life -

was a general decision, which made me very painful.

12

Zhang Rong died. The devil seemed to have fulfilled his wish. When he was escaping, he took the initiative to hit the oncoming truck.

I can no longer hold a scalpel in my hand.

People pity the tragic career of a doctor, but no one pities the death of a poor girl.

Because the last impression people have of her is that of a mistress who destroys other people's families.

When I was recuperating at home, I often thought, did Zhang Rong come to the hospital that day because she knew her father was coming, or did she simply want to come to me?

If she came to see me, what would she want to say?

I have imagined many answers, but the person who gave the standard answer is no longer there, so no matter how much my answer looks like the standard answer, it can only be like.

I continue to think about the original question: Has Zhang Rong ever liked me?

I recalled in my mind the scene of her beating the boy who insulted me, the way she patiently lectured me, the note she carefully handed out when she came to say goodbye to me, and the thoughts we had while sitting on the roadside thinking about the future. , thinking of her joy after learning that I became a doctor...

Those bits and pieces, when put together, don't they form the word "like"?

My doll was finally given away. Although Zhang Rong could no longer see it, I couldn't get her evaluation and see her true expression when she received the doll.

The doll is leaning on Zhang Rong's tombstone, and the arc of the smile outlined with lines on her face is not one-tenth as bright as the smile in her photo.

After the doll was bitten by a stray dog, I carefully mended it.

I didn't notice it before, but now I realized that the damaged area seemed to be where the heart was, and now there was a ferocious scar hovering around it, which looked very funny.

This doll seems to be me, and it seems to be her.

Because Zhang Rong no longer has any relatives, I specially applied for the qualification to receive her relics.

She has very few things, almost nothing of value. Only a small iron box covered with colorful stickers hints at its importance to its owner.

I opened it, and it was almost full of certificates that Zhang Rong had received during his school days. They were so heavy that my hands kept shaking.

Her dream was hidden in this small iron box, and she could no longer escape her short life.

I held back my sore nose because I was afraid of messing up these certificates, so I quickly put them down, but unexpectedly a candy wrapper fell out.

The colorful candy wrappers are incompatible with these serious certificates, as if they were blown in by the naughty wind.

I bent down to pick it up. The candy wrapper was pressed very flat and I could clearly see the date written on it.

I didn’t know what it meant, so I took one look and prepared to put it back in the tin box.

But the moment I was about to close the iron box, I remembered something.

I quickly picked up the candy wrapper and looked at the date written on it with a signature pen. I was so emotional that I couldn't help crying.

This date is the day when I stuffed candy into the hole in Zhang Rong’s table.

She secretly kept this candy.

My question seems to have the answer, but my heart hurts even more.

Because she seemed to have given up on me and my previous dreams, and locked me in this small iron box that never saw the light of day.

13

After I resigned, I stayed at home and had no interest in anything.

My parents were worried about me, so they took me to travel around.

I know that I still have responsibilities in my life, so I am also trying to forget the past, try to be happy, and not let them worry.

But no matter where I go or who I see, I will always think of Zhang Rong.

Things that can be seen everywhere will become her eyebrows, her eyes, her nose, her mouth...

The moon in the sky has broken into stars in the water, and memories emerge, causing waves, which are continuous flashes of sorrow and joy. , like needles, always stinging my eyes easily.

I am trapped here, and the person who saved me will never appear again. (original title: "Moon in the Sky, Stars in the Water")

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