I have deeply experienced the experience of returning home after being deeply drunk. The most common one is taking out the bunch of keys from my waist and trying every one of them, but the only one among them disappeared.

I have deeply experienced the experience of returning home after being deeply drunk. The most common one is taking out the bunch of keys from my waist. I have tried every one of them, but the only one among them has disappeared. Each key was inserted into the door lock in turn, but none of them was correct.

I have two experiences of returning home after drinking that must be remembered: Because the houses in the community all have the same appearance, I came back after drinking and went straight to the door of someone else’s house in the opposite building to open the door. Naturally, there is no achievement. One time, the hostess of this house just came out of her door and walked to the corner of the stairs. She saw me coming to her door and was about to open the door. The hostess was stunned and looked at me again. I made a series of strenuous movements to open the door, and quickly asked: "Who are you? How can you open my door?" What does it have to do with you? Why can't I open my own door? When the hostess recognized me, I was so frightened that I broke into a sweat. Fortunately, the male owner was also my friend, so he called me and apologized early the next morning.

The other time was the Women’s Day event in my workplace many years ago. The female compatriots knew that I was always entangled in a glass of wine, so this became a good opportunity for them to have some farce. So we formed an "offensive and defensive alliance" and treated me as a delicious "drinking dish" on the wine table. This was very painful for me. How could I withstand their repeated "bombings"? There were really "more" at noon that day. But I still managed to get home and recognize my own door.

The bad thing is that when I was drunk, I mistakenly regarded the noon drinking time as the normal night time. When I entered the door, I habitually locked the safety bolt on the door, and then fell asleep in bed without knowing what was going on. My wife couldn't come in after get off work. She banged on the door, shouted loudly, and talked on the cell phone, which made me unconscious. Quietly, she began to feel nervous, fearing that something serious would happen, so she immediately called a master who specialized in unlocking, and finally settled this confusing matter.

There are several issues worth clarifying when drunk. First, the key to the door must be in the keychain on my waist, but why can't the door be opened every time I try it? The second is that after being drunk, one knows the way home, but once one enters the house, one often loses any memory of what follows. Even the next day I slapped my head to clarify how I came back, but I couldn't find any basis for returning home. Third, they often open the wrong door, thinking that is the home they are looking for, and end up at the door of someone else's house by accident.

Why is it necessary to drink like this?

■ Text/Excerpt from "The Scholar's Throne" (written by Tang Yangzong and published by Huashan Literature and Art Publishing House)

■Editor/Jia Lifang

■ All rights reserved. No reproduction is allowed without permission