A few days ago I saw a surveillance video, which is really heartbreaking. The protagonist of the
video is a 7-year-old boy named Hamburg. He was just in the first grade of elementary school. He took online classes at home that day and recorded a video of memorizing the text alone.
The recording process was very difficult. Every time there was either an error here or there was a problem, I had to re-record it. The hamburger tried repeatedly many times. After repeating
more than ten times, it will be successful soon, but Hamburg accidentally memorized a word wrong, and now he finally couldn't help it and completely collapsed. Hamburg cried angrily and stamped his feet, slapped the computer helplessly, and even wanted to tear off the Chinese language books on the table.
But the moment I picked it up, the hamburger slightly regained its disappearing sanity, and put the book back to its original position. While she shed tears, she walked towards the door to see if her parents were back.
After finding out that there was still no one outside, he had to come back in shame.
helpless, he could no longer hold it back and collapsed on the chair and cried bitterly: "I don't want to go to elementary school, I don't want to go to elementary school!"
cried for a long time, Hamburg's mood slowly calmed down, he adjusted his state, turned on the book on the desk, and began to try to recite the text and record videos.
It was not until the recording was finally successful that he emptied himself as if he was relieved.
The entire video is only two and a half minutes, but the number of views is as high as 520 million. Countless netizens exclaimed that they were heartbroken.
is just recording a video, even if it fails to re-record. Is it necessary to slap yourself hard?
Some parents may ask such questions, but what I want to say is that with the age of hamburgers, it is difficult to have this self-control suddenly with so many failures.
As parents, we should not only be wary of our children's "self-harmful behavior", but also give them appropriate help and not let their children fall into the dilemma of self-harm.
Why do children experience "self-harmful behavior"?
In fact, when you look at Hamburg's previous videos, you can find that he is not the "smart" child in the traditional sense.
A simple poem that requires reading more than ten times to be smooth. It is not very complicated English sentences, and it requires your mother to yell dozens of times before it can be remembered.
My parents took great pains to study hamburgers and took a lot of effort.
But at the same time, parents subtly labeled hamburgers: clumsy, unintentional, learning the same knowledge as their peers requires more effort.
comes from parents' excessive expectations, coupled with the frustration of learning failure, which invisibly puts huge psychological pressure on the hamburger.
From a psychological point of view, the reason why children experience "self-harmful behavior" is often due to low maturity and coping ability, low self-pleasant or satisfaction, and emotional instability.
In real life, many children have similar experiences to hamburgers: they have high expectations for their parents and are extremely strict in learning and discipline. A little mistake will attract hysteria from their parents, but they do not know that their children have already tried their best.
When the pressure value exceeds the child's ability to bear, once the child suffers setbacks, it is easy to cause the child's emotional collapse, which leads to "self-harmful behavior". In the final analysis, it is not that the child is "ill", but that the parent's education method is wrong, and the child's pressure cannot be released, and he can only hurt himself in a collapsed manner.
How should we deal with it?
Every child cannot be perfect. They will have more or less one kind of shortcomings, but we should not be overly anxious, but we should accept, support and encourage them.
1. Don’t put too much pressure on your children
It’s understandable that parents hope their children will become successful, but success is not only one way. Even if their children’s grades are a little worse, it is not as terrifying as we imagine.
As long as you are down-to-earth step by step and allow your child to make progress at his own pace, you may not be unable to achieve excellent results in the future. Excessive pressure will only crush the child, and sometimes you will get good results by letting it go.
2. Help your children find advantages
If you have shortcomings, you will have advantages. Every child will have his own advantage areas. His poor academic performance does not mean that the child cannot perform well in other aspects.
When we educate children, we should help them find their own advantages, so that they can gain more sense of accomplishment, thereby enhancing their self-confidence, and exploring their self-worth and realizing their self-identity.
3. Improve children's emotional control ability
Some children do have weak emotional control ability. If they are not satisfied, their emotions will be out of control and they will do some extreme behaviors.
When children have negative emotions and behaviors, we should pay attention to guidance to allow children to have an accurate understanding of their own emotions. When similar situations occur in the future, they can achieve self-relieving, calm their own emotions, and solve problems in appropriate ways, rather than hurting themselves to relieve anger.
Conclusion of wicked mothers: Compared with adults, children often have poor tolerance and weak emotional control. If parents give too high expectations, it will cause too much pressure on their children, which can easily cause various physical and mental problems.
When we educate children, we might as well be "Buddha" appropriately. There is no need to be too nitpicking. Let children grow step by step at their own pace, which is a better way of education.
Today’s topic: Will your child have similar behaviors when his emotions are broken?
I am @�ma. I have a cute baby at home. I focus on research on knowledge during pregnancy and parenting. For more information, please follow me.
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