The biggest controversy about Shi Xiaoyan is her relationship with her daughter. She was depressed from that relationship when she started the video. At that time, she cried in front of the camera, and poked the pain points of many middle-aged fans who were parents.
The most complex relationship in the world is the mother-daughter relationship, because people often think that mothers and daughters are easy to get along with, like friends and best friends, and they are not prone to estrangement. They are easy to communicate with when there is anything, but it is not that simple.
Just like Shi Xiaoyan and her daughter, they have basically cut off contact. Every time Shi Xiaoyan returns to China from the United States, she has vague expectations, hoping that one time the ice will break, which will allow them to return to the normal mother-daughter relationship.
The more capable the mother is, the harder the mother-daughter relationship is. We cannot know why this is, but we can get such experience from some cases we have seen. If a mother is a vulnerable group, she will definitely not pursue herself much and is willing to sacrifice herself to fulfill her daughter. Just like the mothers educated in our traditional culture, she is virtuous, patient, sacrifice, and works hard for the family for a lifetime. Such mothers are respectable. If the children finally have a prosper and status, they will naturally become filial sons and daughters, such as Hu Shi, such as many writers of that era, Bing Xin , Lao She , Yang Jiang , etc. Even if their mothers are very strict, they believe in their mother's love.
Women with strong self-awareness are different. One is the Nora style of leaving. They are not with their children when they need their mother the most. They break free from unhappy marriages and pursue their own happiness. For example, Zhang Ailing's mother 's mother, Zhang Ailing's relationship with her mother has always been a subtle. We know that Zhang Ailing's novels scolded her father's stepmother and uncle and all kinds of unreliable people in the family, but they only reserved her for her mother. That is because her mother, as a person with the same female identity as her, has always been a ray of light she followed. Although Zhang Ailing's mother did not raise her, she only provided her with the opportunity to learn, Zhang Ailing was also grateful to her. The second is the " Mengmu " style kidnapped with love. Based on our interesting college entrance examination system, such mothers are the vast majority of this society. Taking it as your mission to cultivate a social elite, you have determined to practice from the day your child is born. Under the pressure of society, the relationship between mother and daughter or mother and son is like a tight rubber band, and if you are not careful, you will cause a large-scale collapse. Just as we read in various social news, documentaries, and public accounts, some are exciting and some are regrettable.
We don’t know which kind of Shi Xiaoyan and her daughter belong to, but according to the logic of the rich raising children, her daughter will inevitably be under pressure to be given high expectations. According to Shi Xiaoyan, as a strong woman in the workplace, may ignore family companionship, and the child is probably lacking in love along the way. In addition, the comprehensive factors such as divorce of parents and division of family property, it is conceivable how complicated this relationship is.
Some people say that modern mothers and daughters generally have mutual suppression. When the child grows up, mothers are used to standing in a higher position to suppress their daughter. This may be to train their daughters or have a sense of competition, fearing that young daughters will overwhelm them. When the daughter grows up, she must urgently get rid of this shadow of suppression, so she desperately breaks away from the mother's arms and proves her independence. Then she will come back to suppress her mother and gain personal maturity from it.
Shi Xiaoyan said that her daughter’s private affairs are actually not conducive to the development of their relationship. After all, it is better to leave some space. Shi Xiaoyan is now famous and has a lot of fans and has the right to speak in the online society. Her competitors should be afraid of her nonsense. I hope that the friends around her will still persuade her to leave a space for family affection. This will not only be good for her, but more importantly, it is to treat her relatives well.
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