Preface: I am a native of Maiwangxinsheng Village, Chishui Town, Huazhou. My experience has extremely typical connotations, reflecting many ills of real society, and can give people a lot of inspiration from one aspect. After being introduced by Mr. Xu Linzhi, I asked Huazhou writer Mr. Tong Yangzhou to write my autobiography. After several consultations, an agreement was reached. This is how a myth created by an arrogant writer came out of the cage.
——Liu Guangqi
A Strong Song of Survival
Author: Tongyangzhou
Hard Days
In the blink of an eye, more than ten years have passed. Counting on my fingers, I have been away from home for twenty years!
Twenty years is a long time. How many twenty years does a person have in his life? Looking back, I feel sour, spicy, bitter, sweet and salty, which is very unpleasant. I tried my best to control my emotions and prevent tears from flowing down. The past events still flash before my eyes: parades, arrests, escapes, pretending to be crazy and stupid, studying medicine, etc. These unforgettable experiences are my twists and turns in life. I was about thirty when I left home, and now I am fifty. When I left home, my son was not yet born, and he is now twenty years old. At twenty years old, my son has grown into a big man. Since I am very similar to my father, then my son must be very similar to me, another younger version of myself.
After twenty years of living away from home, in the depths of my heart, home is a warm and desirable place, and I miss it more and more.
However, I sighed and tried my best to suppress the desire in my heart. I know what it means for a fugitive to be caught. Being held in a car and touring Hua County to criticize and criticize, I couldn’t stand this kind of cruel blow, and I couldn’t stand it either!
Thinking of this, I shuddered and got goosebumps all over my body. I looked up to the sky and sighed, helplessly shaking my head. Home, synonymous with warmth, for me, is a distant memory, a beautiful expectation, the tenacious support of my life, and the spiritual sustenance of my worries. However, even though I feel that the current situation has changed dramatically, my psychological fear is still strong. I can't go back, I can't go back, I can't throw myself into a trap.
In the process of communicating with patients, I learned many things about the outside world.
seems to be a little less lively these days than before. People's lives are much calmer than before. The newly written big slogans were no longer visible on the streets, and the parades basically disappeared.
I feel that society is changing, just like the spring breeze blowing gently. Unknowingly, the thick ice is gradually melting silently, and those plants and trees are quietly sprouting. Poking my head on the ground...
However, the thought of me being a fugitive made me tremble with fear. The country is still this country, the world is still the same, the sun still rises in the east and sets in the west. I am still like a rabbit, crouching in a distant cave, carefully watching the changes in the world.
I am looking forward to great changes in the world and news from my hometown. Although I know this hope is futile, I still look forward to it so strongly...
Photo by Liu Huanmin, Maiwang Xinsheng Village
Suddenly, one day, the postman delivered a letter. This is the first letter I have received in twenty years. I was so excited. After seeing the postman disappear into the distance, I cried "Wow" and my whole body trembled. I know, it was from my brother. My brother has good calligraphy and writes fluently and neatly. However, the writing on the envelope was deformed, but it must have been written by my brother. There is no signature on the bottom paragraph, only the word "Xi'an" is written.
I guess from the literal meaning that there are two situations when my brother can send me a letter. One is that national policies have undergone huge changes and the policies are beneficial to me. My brother is writing to tell me good news that is once in a lifetime. After all, he is my brother, and we have a flesh-and-blood relationship; secondly, because of the changes in world affairs, my brother felt a little ashamed and repented deep in his heart, and the feelings of flesh and blood forced him to write this letter.I think, no matter from which perspective, this letter is undoubtedly a good signal, which self-evidently shows that my life will undergo tremendous changes. I am looking forward to this wonderful moment in my heart.
I hurriedly tore the letter open and whispered:
Brother Xiang:
Nearly good!
I haven’t seen you for many years and I miss you very much. We broke up in Xi'an and it was more than ten years ago. Every time I think of it, it’s like yesterday. I wonder if you can receive this letter. No need to reply whether you received it or not.
The situation has been very good recently, and some cases during the Cultural Revolution have been vindicated, which is really gratifying.
Of course, I am not sure whether your fault can be vindicated.
Think carefully and make a safe decision.
Well-known but not signed
I especially appreciate my brother's shrewdness. He wrote letters and if there was trouble you couldn't find him. Xi'an is such a big place, who are you looking for? This man is called Mingming. Do you know his name? He didn't sign, so you can take your guess. Of course when I receive the letter, I will know who wrote it. It is extremely valuable for me to write this letter during this special period of my life, at this critical moment when I feel uneasy. Although he is still frightened and uncertain, between the lines, there is a strong sense of brotherhood and warm concern. He has fulfilled his responsibilities without showing off, and is seamless and impeccable.
I admire my brother's shrewdness. I told my address, just once, and he actually remembered it, even after so many years. At that time, I asked him to write it down in a notebook, but he refused, saying that it would be bad if someone with ulterior motives got it. I really admire my eldest brother. He has memorized this address for so many years with fear.
I know a little bit about the news about the redress of unjust, false and wrongly convicted cases in society. For example, the day before yesterday, a hunched old man came to see a doctor. He said that during the Cultural Revolution, he was wiping the dust off the plaster statue of Chairman Mao. By accident, the plaster statue fell to the ground and broke. The "rebels" seized on this current fact and accused him of heinous crimes. After that, he was criticized and paraded in the streets every day, and he was tortured to death. The old man was so angry that his hands kept shaking. For many years, he sought medical treatment everywhere but could not see any improvement. After rehabilitating him recently, my hands stopped shaking. The old man was so happy that he came to ask the reason.
I said, old man, the truth is very simple. When I was criticizing you, my heart was depressed and my blood and Qi were not flowing smoothly, so my hands were shaking. After I was rehabilitated, I felt happy and my blood and Qi were smooth, so my hands were not shaking.
The old man didn’t quite agree with what I said, but he still nodded in agreement. Even though this explanation seemed far-fetched to me, I was still very excited. The reason is simple. Regardless of whether the old man's hands are shaking or not, this information is very important. Since the counter-revolutionary crime of smashing the leader's statue can be vindicated, by analogy, the words that I could not bear to say at that time must also be vindicated?
ah! If this is the case, my unjust case will be vindicated immediately, and I can go home and reunite with my relatives immediately!
Originally, I always kept the phone number of my brother’s work. Later, I didn't want to implicate my brother, so I threw away the phone number I wrote down, so as not to implicate my brother if I was caught. Besides, you always carry your phone number with you. If you don’t make calls, what’s the use of it? Although my brother often appears in my dreams, I care about him.
Maiwang Xinsheng Village Photo by Liu Huanmin
We brothers often meet each other in dreams, hugging each other and crying, extremely sad. Now, I need this number to carefully inquire about my brother's situation and find out the details. However, this number no longer exists. But it doesn't matter, this number is engraved in my mind.
What to do next?
I'm in a dilemma.
For my timid brother to send this letter, it is at least a good signal. Otherwise, my brother would not take this risk.Therefore, the information my brother told me is very important and timely!
The desire to go home is like a pot of fire, baking under my butt. I can't sit down and think calmly.
No matter what you say, I want to go home.
Original source: Contributed by the author of "Song of Survival"
Original author: Tongyangzhou
Compilation and editing: Huazhou Literature and History Collection
