This is the only conversation between Governor Hao and Zhou Bingyi. The aura is so great that it can make people suffocate; the level is so high that it can last for ten years; this is the only time Governor Hao teaches Zhou Bingyi how to live in the world, and even subverts Zhou Bingyi's way of looking at the world in one fell swoop.
Director Jin’s language skills impressed us, but Governor Hao’s realm and skill allowed us to see what a real boss looks like.
Come, walk into this conversation and carefully understand Governor Hao’s teachings:
Dad, Mom asked me to give you
This Director Jin of our family, She has not been in office for so many years, but she is still so knowledgeable and good at responsibilities. She is sure that I will not be able to refute your face, so she asked you to send it. I don't like eating this
On the surface, Governor Hao is praising Director Jin for "knowing people and responsibilities", but in fact, this is Governor Hao's recognition of Zhou Bingyi.
What does Governor Hao mean by this sentence?
In this family, I only recognize your face, and Director Jin knows this clearly.
Note that the focus is not on "I only recognize your face", the focus is on "Director Jin knows that I will give you face". It can be seen that Governor Hao often praises Zhou Bingyi behind his back, and it can also be seen that Governor Hao's recognition of this son-in-law is already known to everyone.
Living in such a family, Zhou Bingyi's life was not easy. Governor Hao knew this, and such a vague comfort was exactly the warmth Zhou Bingyi needed.
Just one sentence can make others feel comfortable and make others feel their presence immediately. Governor Hao’s emotional intelligence is evident.
Then, Zhou Bingyi, who was originally cautious, immediately became relaxed, with a smile on his face, and even made an almost coquettish request:
Dad, since I brought it to you, please eat some
Okay, okay
You should also eat some
I won't eat, I won't eat
Note that Governor Hao's "give" this time is just a concession, just a regular courtesy. Of course Zhou Bingyi will not eat it, and he does not dare to eat it.
Remember this time, because there will be a next time.
Putting down the fruit, Zhou Bingyi did not leave, because he still had something to say:
Dad
had something to say
Facing Governor Hao and his father-in-law, Zhou Bingyi was so cautious, wasn't it a bit too much?
First of all, Governor Hao’s leadership status brings with it a sense of oppression. The aura created by this status does not mean that you can resist if you want to. It is panic from the bottom of your heart and is a subconscious behavior.
Furthermore, the father-in-law is not a real father, he has stricter rules and more restrictions. Even in an ordinary family, the father-in-law is definitely not a character to be laughed at.
More importantly, Zhou Bingyi was full of uncertainty about his next words:
He was not sure whether he should say this sentence by himself;
He was not sure whether this sentence would make Governor Hao angry;
Therefore, Zhou Bingyi was very hesitant.
And Governor Hao’s response was a textbook answer:
Come on, come on, you sit and talk, sit and talk, come, sit and talk, it just so happened that I also took a break and watched all night, and got tired
Standing and talking can only be called a "report"; sitting and talking can only be called a "dialogue".
In order to ease Zhou Bingyi’s nervousness and hesitation, Governor Hao even gave a well-reasoned encouragement: I am tired, so I just took this opportunity to take a rest.
If you want to embarrass others, the reasons are easy to find; but if you don’t want to embarrass others, it is definitely a technical job.
Someone comes to you to report, and you just want to talk to them;
Someone else has used your things, and you are in a state of "breaking up";
Transforming what others find difficult into help for yourself is an ideal principle for alleviating embarrassment and preparing the other party.
With respect, reasons, and opportunities for equal dialogue, Zhou Bingyi had no reason to hesitate anymore:
Dad, that Minister Sheng
Pay attention to Governor Hao’s micro-expression. The smile on his face did not disappear immediately, but the muscles below the eyelids and above the cheeks immediately relaxed. This is a symbol of anger, but it fully takes care of the other party’s feelings.
Seeing the change in Governor Hao, Zhou Bingyi knew that he had said the wrong thing, so he stood up and apologized:
Sorry, Dad
In the original novel, Zhou Bingkun once commented on the living environment of the Hao family:
Even speaking, you have to pay attention to the method and method, and even express your opinions carefully, and even beat around the bush, I don't agree with it, and I don't like it either.
Different classes and different experiences have led to Zhou Bingkun's disapproval of this lifestyle. However, Governor Hao is in a high position and is at the forefront of the storm every day. He needs to pay attention to the impact and care about his image.
Controlling your mouth is never a negative behavior. If you feel tired, it is because you have not reached that level yet, and you have not reached the social level where "one word can cause bad things" or even "one word can kill one's life".
It’s just that Governor Hao didn’t want to refute Zhou Bingyi’s face, let alone ruin this rare educational opportunity:
It’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay, Bingyi, don’t tell outsiders about this
Okay
Didn’t tell Dongmei
No
There are some things, you must learn to let them rot in your stomach
Remember Governor Hao’s teachings, control your mouth, and learn to let some things rot in your stomach.
If you don't say a sentence, you are the master of this sentence, and the initiative is in your hands; but once you say it, you are the slave of this sentence, and you can only passively wait for all kinds of backlash.
Pretending not to know is a kind of wisdom, and it is also a rational way to protect yourself in the face of a complex society.
What did you just say
When I was in the Corps before, I met people like this. I don’t think that Minister Sheng just wrote love words in a letter.
Pay attention to Zhou Bingyi’s language art:
I just thought "it's not that simple", but did not clearly explain what Minister Sheng did.
If you don’t talk enough, there will always be room for maneuver.
Let's pay attention to the "I think" before Zhou Bingyi expressed his opinion. It is just a personal opinion. If there is no "I think", the degree of certainty of this sentence will be greatly different, and the difficulty of making up for it will be greatly increased.
Just, what does Zhou Bingyi’s sentence mean?
Minister Sheng made a mistake, and Governor Hao took protective measures. Zhou Bingyi believed that this was to protect or even condone the mistake. In other words, Zhou Bingyi didn't quite understand Governor Hao's actions, and was even a little dissatisfied.
Okay, let’s take a look at Governor Hao’s explanation:
Yes, there must be something going on between him and that woman
First, confirm Zhou Bingyi’s guess and put himself and Zhou Bingyi in the same camp to gain emotional resonance and the basis for the next dialogue.
Moreover, Governor Hao needs to explain to Zhou Bingyi and emphasize that he is not stupid. He has long seen Minister Sheng's deception, but he did not say it, but he had a deeper intention.
Only after understanding this premise can we understand Governor Hao’s high level of protecting Minister Sheng:
I have already set principles for him. First, stop here. Second, the negative impact must be minimized. Third, we must reflect deeply and never allow the mistakes to be made again.
"Stop it now," "Stop the loss in time," and "Never do it again." As long as the legal bottom line is not touched, strictly following these principles can eliminate almost all mistakes.
This is the prerequisite for Governor Hao to agree to protect Minister Sheng, but Governor Hao also wants to explain the reason for protecting Minister Sheng:
This old Sheng, he is doing a good job, he is very capable, please help him. Pull him out, we can't beat a cadre to death just because he makes a mistake. That is an irresponsible attitude, and it is not our way of employing people.
Many people think that this is Governor Hao's double standard scene, and he is covering up the fact that he is protecting his subordinates.
said the same thing. "Beat to death with a stick" can be interpreted as not being able to tolerate sand in the eyes, or even more, it can be interpreted as rules and restrictions and principle requirements; but if you want to protect a person, he will be confused and make mistakes. Timely action can save a person with extremely strong working ability.
However, don’t ignore Governor Hao’s identity. “Employing people” is a very important part of his work. Hitting if someone makes a mistake and killing someone if they see someone making a mistake is definitely not a rational way of employing people. It is neither practical nor in line with basic principles.
The way to employ people is to kill and fight but also to teach. The significance of teaching is not only to guide the right direction and train qualified subordinates; it also lies in the control of the handle and the taming of people's hearts.
However, Governor Hao was facing his son-in-law, a character who would never allow him to make the same mistake. What if his attitude misunderstood Zhou Bingyi.
Therefore, Governor Hao also has to set a bottom line for such mistakes:
Of course, people have human weaknesses, so we must strengthen restraint, guidance and standards. As a Communist Party member, we must stick to our own The principle of party spirit and cultivating it into a voluntary code of conduct for oneself is very important. If Sheng Changshun commits another crime again, then I'm sorry, but he can only kill Ma Su with tears. This is a principle
If Director Jin is sober in the world, then Governor Hao is the reason why Director Jin can be so sober.
Human weakness, how to control it?
"constraints" tell you what is right and what is wrong;
"guidance" leads you to work in the right direction;
"standards" clarify right and wrong, provide guidance, and set up basic rewards and punishments to let you know that you will be rewarded if you do the right thing, and you will be punished if you do the wrong thing.
Human nature is to seek advantages and avoid disadvantages. If you taste the sweetness, you will continue to work hard, and if you are beaten, you will remember the lesson.
Faced with repeated admonitions, there is only one solution left, which is to kill Ma Su with tears.
After Governor Hao passed away, Zhou Bingyi actually made the same mistake, and Director Jin's method of dealing with it was based on Governor Hao's principle: first set the rules, then provide protection, and then ask Zhou Bingyi to "clean the gun without misfire."
Then, Governor Hao's second "let" appeared:
You eat, help me eat some, don't tell Director Jin
This time, it is no longer a simple courtesy, but an easing of the tense principled dialogue, and a necessary operation to bring Zhou Bingyi back to the family atmosphere.
When it is time to be serious, you are the king and your ministers; when it is time to be harmonious, it is as warm as spring.
When it’s time to educate, be strict; when it’s time to have fun, be measured.
Governor Hao is not only teaching Zhou Bingyi, but also teaching all "fathers", whether it is father-in-law or father, this is what it should be like!
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