I don’t know if you’ve noticed it, but raising a cat is actually like a mirror, a mirror that reflects evil spirits.
Many qualities you thought you would never have will be stimulated by interacting with cats.
In short, cats make you see your "dark side."
This is not entirely a bad thing. You may get to know yourself again and make some changes. Some changes you don’t expect.
Take myself as an example.
Before I got a cat, I never realized that I could go berserk so easily.
I often scream at the cat like a crazy woman. When her tail is about to hit the grease bowl, when she reaches for her bag, when she's bouncing on the bed in the middle of the night...
I also find myself using neglect as a form of punishment.
My kitten is very insecure. She always feels that others are going to attack her. She is very scared, so she starts scratching and biting instead.
When I am patient, I will coax her, and when I am impatient, I will fight with her. If she still doesn't behave, he opens the door to the room, throws her out, and slams the door shut.
The kitten likes this trick very much. She will feel abandoned. In less than 5 minutes, you can hear her submissive voice.
I was very proud of myself at the other end of the room. When I opened the door, I saw her obedient look and thought to myself: "Wouldn't it be better if this was the case?"
I didn't feel it when I was in the mood, but when I looked back, , you will feel that you are somewhat "hateful".
had a vague feeling that something was wrong.
Mom also seems to often start to run into a rage and yell before a crisis occurs.
Emotionally, she is also very distant. When I couldn't deal with my emotional problems, I pretended that neither the problem nor I existed.
I remember a very ironic joke.
A little girl always suffered from domestic violence. A reporter once asked her, what is your ideal?
She said, I want to be a parent.
Although the "education" of cats is not as terrible, it is the same to a certain extent.
has become a lot like his parents, and he is the side that he hates, and even gets hurt by.
All of the above keywords are enough to set off alarm bells.
I originally thought that I was an exception, but I found that there are more or less cat owners around me.
Reader @ Xiaojiu I am a very Buddhist person, but like my parents, I will " chicken baby ", which is simply subconscious.
@ Xiaojiu’s Cat
She originally thought that raising a cat would mean being a roommate with the cat, but this was not actually the case.
can’t help but have many, many demands on cats.
Take going to the toilet as an example. The cat at home refuses to use the closed cat litter box, and will kick out the cat litter . Xiaojiu will get angry and think " other people's children must not be like this".
Once when she went to a friend's house, she accidentally discovered that her friend's cat could play with a ball. A small felt ball, throw it out and then pick it back up. But not my own kitten.
When he got home, Xiaojiu looked at the cat and said, "You must also learn to hold the ball in your mouth."
reader @ 77 finds that when he loses control, he can't help but beat the kitten, just like his mother beat her when she was a child.
Cats have a way of making people angry.
Sometimes I overturn the storage box in the living room and let things scatter on the floor.
Sometimes he will waste your carefully prepared nutritional supplements while provoking you with his big butt like a cat.
"No one can tolerate it", @ 77 is really angry.
@ 77’s cat
The biggest advantage of having a control group is that you can have two characters at the same time and feel two situations. Both parents and children.
Reader @ Xiaojiu Sometimes, during negative interactions with cats, they return to past situations.
When she was young, her mother always felt that other people's children were more obedient than hers, and she would criticize her more than praise her. A very subtle language violence - "Look at xx".
Sometimes it is just because I am not as outgoing as other children. Factors outside of her control.
This made her sad.
I have become more understanding of my mother.
is not a simple, reunion-like reconciliation, but more of a disappointment.
My kitten has a little more emotional needs than other cats, and she always needs me. I want a hug, companionship, and play...
Many times I can't do that. I might be too busy wallowing in bad emotions, too busy catching up on a drama, too busy having fun.
I could actually spare some time and energy to accompany her, but I chose to ignore it. In order to justify my behavior, I would even attack her -
"How can a cat be as clingy as you?"
"You have food, drinks and snacks, why are you still barking?"
It's not because I can only I did this because it was the easiest for me.
My mother treated me in the same way before.
When I feel sad and need companionship and comfort. She just said nothing and pretended not to hear me.
If she started to express her dissatisfaction, she would say: "You think too much and are too sensitive." Everything seems to be my problem.
used to find ways to forgive his parents. She has her own limitations and an unhappy family of origin. You didn't mean to do this to me. Only after I entered that situation did I realize that it was not the case.
After figuring this out, the expectations and anger accumulated in the past disappeared.
reader @ 77 realized that himself could not even be like his mother. After
passed the running-in period with the cat, she began to reflect -
Did the things she didn't allow the cat to do in the past because it would really lead to bad consequences? Or is it just to maintain his authority as the "master"?
She found that most of them were the latter.
And the things that her mother forbids her from doing are almost all the former.
"After raising a cat, I admit with all my heart that even if I become a mother one day, I may never be as good as her."
Of course, raising a cat is not all about exposing the "dark side"; Opportunity.
An opportunity to help you get rid of the shadow of childhood and rebuild a new life state.
Reader @ Drunk Dance Hefeng When you first raise a cat, you will feel a little troubled.
Cats don’t understand the rules of the human world and are always jumping up and down. She will have a lot of worries about this. Will she dirty the table? Will the screen window be opened and fall down? Why do you always bite plants?
In the past, her mother also paid too much attention and worry to her, which troubled her very much.
But as I became familiar with the cat, I also learned more about its temperament and habits. She stopped asking the cat to change and instead tried to adapt to her.
If the table is dirty, wipe it several times. If you are worried about the cat’s safety, change the window screen. All in all, the main thing is to make the cat comfortable.
"I used to have high demands on myself and the people around me. If things were different from what I expected, I would be very irritated and annoyed." The appearance of
cat made her learn to accept all kinds of uncontrollable things in life.
@ The Cat that Dances in the Lotus Wind
Raising a cat may not necessarily bring such big changes to everyone, but it will provide some "enlightenment" to some extent.
I learned “skills” that I didn’t know from kittens.
She is better at dealing with cold violence than me. This made me realize that I am not completely weak and that I can do something.
She would not give in to her uneasiness. After being locked up, she kept opening the door and meowing, and the longest time lasted for two hours. I was still angry, but I couldn't bear the torture from her, so I finally opened the door.
Many times, she would not care about my "cold violence". I would go to my roommate’s room to sleep, and sometimes play, lying on the window sill listening to the birds chirping. She was not intimidated, she was enjoying herself, and the one she was angry about was me, the "abuser." The
penalty is no longer effective.
reader @ 77 healed the past trauma to some extent through reflection on the cat beating.
"Parents' love for their children is often conditional, but children's love for their parents is unconditional.
So thank you, kitten, for loving me unconditionally. "
also saw some evidence that "I am different from my parents" .
After I have an quarrel with the kitten, I won’t just wait for her to show her kindness, and sometimes I will take the initiative to apologize. Like my mother, I hate excessive intimacy, but as I slowly learn to accept the closeness of the cat from a distance, I will not always It's to reject her.
reader @ Xiaojiu will always remind himself not to have requirements for cats.
"My mother does not have the consciousness to regard me as an independent person. I consciously tell myself that the kitten is not my child. "
There is a concept in psychology called reshaping.
basically means that people can readjust their cognition through learning, action, etc. after the incident, and use new ways to understand and deal with it.
Keeping a cat is like some kind of "reshaping" of childhood trauma.
You see, the past is repeated, and the past can be changed.
Author: Zou Yu
Editor: Ding Ding
"I still have the possibility of change .
When I think of this,
my heart surges.
—— Takeshi Kitano
