Just like a netizen said, "In fact, loving people is like growing flowers." When you grow flowers for the first time, you are worried to death. You are afraid that they will become waterlogged if you water them too much, or they will wither if you water them too little. You are c

Just like a netizen said, "In fact, loving people is like growing flowers."

When you grow flowers for the first time, you are worried to death. You are afraid that they will become waterlogged if you water them too much, and they will wither if you water them too little.

You are careful, for fear of something going wrong

You think all day long about letting it get more sunshine and taking pictures to see how it grows

Let everyone know that I have a good flower

I like this flower so much

The time you spend on roses makes your roses so important.

But it still died

You don’t even know why

Is it too much water or too little water

Is it not getting enough sunlight or too much sun and it prefers shade

After it dies, you haven’t raised flowers for a long time

You are afraid that they will not be able to grow well. Are you afraid that if it dies again

you will be sad again

When I was young, I was very willful, and the people around me were very tolerant, and did not respond to my harmful behavior, which inadvertently caused my lack of empathy. Later, I met other people in relationships who distanced themselves from me when they were hurt. It was during this process that I understood the sadness of others when their self-esteem was bruised by me, and the constant exhaustion of their patience. I slowly learned to cherish the other person - it is pain that teaches us how to love.

Why do most people’s first love never last long?

In the traditional education we have received since childhood, no one told us how to get along with the opposite sex. We can only cross the river by feeling the stones.

In the past few years of emotional recovery, we have all kept saying that we love our exes very much and cannot lose them, so we try our best to get them back. However, during the conversation, they only know how to love one person but do not know how to love, especially friends who broke up with their first love.

First love is a topic that I have never talked about. I have never been willing to talk about the topic of first love mainly because first love when I was young rarely has a good ending.

I first read " The Little Prince " when I was young and ignorant. What puzzled me the most was why the little prince decisively left the rose. Shouldn't their ending be the result of knowing each other, falling in love, and staying together forever?

Later, my first love broke up with me. I was angry, sad, irritable, lonely, and sad. In short, I had mixed feelings in my heart, including reluctance to let go of her, longing for her, and resentment towards her.

I shamelessly stalked her, and even asked her to have dinner because I said the wrong thing to make her unhappy. The girl didn't go. At that time, I was stubborn and stubbornly waited there. I waited from five or six o'clock to past eleven o'clock. It was winter and there was no one on the street. Later, I often cried completely when I was drunk.

We are always prone to create an illusion of infatuation in a masochistic way to allow ourselves to stand on the moral high ground of our feelings, thus obtaining a deformed sense of satisfaction and security.

The bitter love songs I occasionally hear on the street, the unrequited love movies I see, etc., may not matter to others, but they have a huge impact on me, as if a dam has burst and my sadness has plummeted.

The love of young people is turbulent, and they can't wait to express their full love, but the result is often that they get caught up in the performance without realizing it. What

likes is that he likes her, and what he expresses is that he has so-called expressions. As for who she is and what she has, they are secondary.

is confused by this kind of compassion, so two people who experience the same incident will have different deviations. What you think is a shattering world, is calm and calm to her. The other person often doesn't feel the same way about the past that you feel is unforgettable, or even doesn't know about it.

In the two years since the breakup, I can say that almost everything I did in this relationship was wrong, hurtful, intentional, and selfish. The madness at that time was just a performance. Apart from moving myself to create the illusion of infatuation, it had no meaning at all.

Thinking about it now, whether it was keeping a promise or peeking at her outside her classroom in the heavy rain, in retrospect, I often feel that it is as heroic and intense as Qiao Feng fighting Juxianzhuang or Guan Yu riding alone for thousands of miles. To the other party, a look is just a look, and it is impossible to see through the landslide and earth-shattering feelings contained in it.

Your great joys and sorrows may, to her, be the unbearable disturbance of youth.

At that time, I didn’t know how to love someone. I just regarded my naive, noisy, and lengthy love words as love. regarded impulsiveness, ignorance, refusal to communicate, and one-sided showoff as love, but I did not take understanding, tolerance, trust, and companionship, the four most important things in love, into my heart.

After I got a few years older, I experienced the frustration of my first love, and I also witnessed the first love around me end in failure. I also saw countless first loves saying goodbye with regret in movies. I once couldn’t figure out why the most unforgettable first love is always so fragile and short-lived. I gradually found the answer through rolling and crawling.

is like the little prince leaving Rose, not because they don't love each other, but because although he and Rose love each other, they don't know how to get along, and they don't get along very well, so that they often have misunderstandings and torture each other.

Loving someone is very important, but the comfort between two people is even more important.

Because they are both first loves, they are at a loss when facing emotional problems. They love each other deeply, but they don't know how to maintain this relationship.

A stable relationship requires not only passion, but also listening, understanding, mutual understanding and sharing. The reason why first love is fragile is that both parties desire the best love, but do not know how to love.

Learning to love someone is destined to be understood after losing it, and this process is destined to be painful.

Hence the touching confession of the little prince:

"I didn't understand anything at the time! I should have judged her based on her actions, not her words. She fragranced my life and illuminated my life. I really shouldn't have left her! I should have guessed that behind her ridiculous pretense, there was hidden tenderness and sweetness. Hua'er It’s always so insincere! It’s a pity that I was too young at the time and didn’t know how to love her properly. "

This is a painful realization, but there will be no such realization without losing this relationship. Only by seeing different people and experiencing growth can you have enough experience to understand Rose and your past self. The real pain is not at the moment of breaking up, but more after the realization. Looking back on it many years later, you will find that it was a watershed in your life.

" Deep love will last forever , and wisdom will be hurt." This is the truth that I later understood. Once anything exceeds a certain limit, it will directly affect and interfere with the original nature of the matter. Whether it is first love or not, as long as you exert too much force, it will not last long.

Falling in love is feeling the warmth of two people being together, and the first love at that age had the most passionate and passionate feelings for each other. This kind of feeling has far exceeded the category of "warmth". This kind of hot love is destined to accidentally burn the other person at some point.

When we fall in love for the first time, we regard love as the whole of life. We think that person is the right person in our life. We unknowingly add too many chips to this relationship and place high expectations. The higher the expectations, the more unsatisfactory the results will be.

As the relationship lasts, the high expectations, unrealistic fantasies and so-called right person in life gradually turn into disappointment. Giving too high expectations and unrealistic fantasies in love is itself an important reason for relationship failure.

First love is everyone's first lesson in love. There is no teacher, no teaching materials, and no homework in this class; but there are exams every day. And your examiner's mood is also uncertain.

When you first fall in love, everyone's definition of love is perfect.Many people are like Yichen in "Why Shengxiaomo", "When that person appears, everyone else just makes do with it. But I don't want to make do with it."

What they love is the perfect prince/princess in their hearts. But more often than not, their princes and princesses are just ordinary people.

Not so many people can accept the gap between ideal and reality.

has something to say that is not pleasant or even cruel: the meaning of first love appearing in your life is not to accompany you for a lifetime, but to leave you a memory. To put it more cruelly, when you come into contact with something for the first time, you have no experience and you will not deal with it. The result will most likely fail because you are each other's guinea pig.

Since the ending is destined to be unhappy, there is no need to regret the result of failure, and there is no need to worry about whether history would have been changed if you had changed your approach at that time, because your mind could only do this kind of behavior at the time. All you have to do is learn from the mistakes and gain wisdom, and make sure not to make the same mistakes, that's all.

In real life, whether it is the separation between the little prince or us, there is probably no turning back. Even if we meet again, because the two of them have taken different paths after separation, the two people's hearts may not be as in tune with each other as before. The man standing in the dimly lit place seemed to be close yet extremely far away, beyond reach. This is not an easy task.

This is something that must be accepted.

Missing you can only stay in your heart.

Therefore, there is no need to regret and linger on many things. If you really don’t want to live up to this experience, then live a better life in the future. First love is just the beginning of emotional life, not the end. We will all continue to stumble on the road, just like people who know whether drinking water is warm or cold.