I am a female, 27 years old, a clerk at a department-level unit, worked for one and a half years, got 3k+ monthly salary, and had a performance of 10k+ by the end of the year. He is a bachelor's degree in law, and he is in the Agricultural Regulations Department, and he is not busy with work on time. The relationship between leaders and colleagues in the department is harmonious. The unit is in the provincial capital, the home is in City B, and there is no traffic jam between the two places for 1 hour.
html will marry my boyfriend at the end of 0, and the man's family asked me to get married and resign and take care of the housework at home. The man has a family business, construction projects, and economic conditions are good. The man bought the wedding house in City B and is currently being renovated to prepare for the wedding.My boyfriend and I are high school classmates. We have been in a long-distance relationship for four years in college. We broke up two years ago and we are ready to get married this year. Now I feel that fate is here, but I am the ideal of my parents for civil servant exams. is also relatively independent in character and is unwilling to rely on others to survive. Now I’m very confused about . Should I quit after getting married?
(Problem source: Zhihu)
rope is easy to break
2
The essence of marriage is compromise.
"
As an independent woman in the new era, the words "equal rights, freedom, and career" have become footnotes for women's awakening. Feudal words such as taking care of their husbands and children are naturally labeled as derogatory, as if being a full-time housewife has dragged the feminist movement back and putting the majority of women in shame.
abandons the metaphysical criticism and returns to the essence of marriage Quality, Since two independent people want to form a family, they must give up something from each other, just like a pair of mortise and tenon components, each of which flattens the edges and corners to firmly become one.
You have outstanding education, stable work, independent personality, and condescending to become a full-time housewife, obviously not what you want, but from a family perspective, you live in City B, work in the provincial capital, and you have to travel back and forth for 2 hours when commuting to and from work. And the salary is 3K, plus the year-end bonus annual income is around 50K, which is almost negligible from the economic perspective. Moreover, if you are not busy with self-evaluation, it is unlikely that a position that is not busy may be difficult to achieve outstanding results, so your civil servant job is free and not promoted enough.
On the other hand, if you resign as a full-time housewife, this is actually a social division of labor. The mother undertakes the job of preschool education and confinement nanny . And now it is easy to hire a confinement nanny, but it is difficult to find a preschool education. A good nursery school costs tens of thousands of dollars, and of course its effect cannot be compared with a law undergraduate degree like you.
Since your husband's financial ability is far better than you, from an economic perspective, this is a comparative advantage. The benefits you bring to the family by being a full-time housewife are greater than your continuing work, so you should choose the former to maximize the benefits of the entire family.
But this decision is destined to be painful, maybe you will say to yourself countless times, "Why? ”, but if you have confidence in this marriage, you should say "why not".
"
Ines
life has opportunity costs everywhere, the key depends on how you choose.
"
"
"
"
"
"
"
"Marriage is not a compromise, but a choice, and this choice exists everywhere in a person's life.
I believe that you should be familiar with the word "opportunity cost" for undergraduates-opportunity cost refers to the maximum benefit you may gain after making a choice without making that choice, so opportunity cost is also called "opportunity cost".
If you choose to stay in a provincial capital city as a civil servant, you may lose your current boyfriend (do you think you can meet a more suitable person based on your own ability and social circle?), or travel back and forth between City B and provincial capital cities every day. Such a journey and hard work can bring you a relatively independent position in your marriage.
If you choose to quit your job and go back to City B to take care of your husband and children, will you be a qualified full-time housewife? Do you have confidence in your marriage (how much does your boyfriend love you, can he withstand the temptation outside after working in a family business) ? Does your in-laws prefer boys over girls (it depends on your future birth of boys and girls and your status in your in-laws) ? Can you achieve economic independence without relying on your in-laws?
You might as well ask yourself which job (civil servant/full-time housewife) is more suitable for you and can achieve better results? After all, it is difficult for you to have both fish and bear's paw at the moment.
I wish you happiness!
”
Source: Xinmin Weekly
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-