Will the love that parents oppose be happy?
Before getting married, most people think that their parents do not understand marriage, so the more intense the parents oppose, the stronger their resistance will be. After getting married, they realized that their parents were really far-sighted. The more impulsive they loved, the more passive they were now. In fact, there is no parent who does not love their children and does not want their children to live a happy life. What they oppose is not who you love? Instead, they know their children better and who they are more suitable for?
The 46-year-old elder sister got married and divorced again. She got married three times before and after, and had three husbands and had an affair. She used her own story to reflect the truth of the marriage behind the opposition to her parents...
The elder sister told her life experience:
She has 5 siblings in her family since she was a child. Two of them are sisters, and two are younger brothers. She always feels that her parents only love their younger brothers but not her, so she acts very rebellious. She never likes to listen to her parents, nor does she understand how difficult it is to be, and she always likes to talk back to her, so her parents can't control her at all...
Because the family conditions do not allow it, she has never been to school. When she reached the age of marriage, she refused to listen to her parents because she didn't even understand what marriage was. She just found a man to get married, and her parents couldn't control her at all. The more her parents blocked her, the more she became more presumptuous she became. She soon gave birth to a daughter after marriage. Her parents-in-law were very kind and treated her like her daughter. She acted very dependent on her power, only allowing her to say others, and never allowing others to say anything she was wrong. If anyone in the family angered her, they would start cursing, and even beat people like a tigress. No matter how kind her in-laws are to her, she takes it for granted. Not only is she not grateful, but she also makes more sense. When her daughter was 8 years old, she always beat and scolded her husband and in-laws because she was too powerful. Her family was afraid of her, but her family also gave in to her. But she was still not satisfied with her being flirted with and wanted to find a better man to replace her husband, because she looked down on her husband's family in her eyes. Soon she completed the divorce procedures with her husband, and her daughter awarded her ex-husband, and there were also her ex-husband who had not finished it again and again.
After the divorce, she was alone outside looking for the feeling of being loved everywhere. I started to be lovers and didn’t get married. I always ruined other people’s families and became mistresses. I have been a mistress for about 20 years. Men outside all regard her as treasures, spoiled her, and gave in to her. But the older they were, they wanted to have a stable home. Soon after, their second husband went through the divorce procedures with his wife. The parents also strongly opposed her to destroy other people's families, but they still did not listen to their parents and soon married each other... After marriage, they also gave birth to a daughter, and the second husband was three years younger than him, but they controlled her every day to prevent her from having contact and dating with outside men. She was almost depressed at home and was thinking all day long, and she couldn't stand it anymore. She took her daughter back to her parents' home after a week and a half. She couldn't bear it anymore and chose to divorce with the help of her parents' home again.
Because my lover has been together for a long time, my family has disappeared, so I still want to find a support for me with a daughter who was born with my second husband. Later, she met her third husband through a friend's introduction. This man was in the countryside, without a house or a car, and was 3 years older than her. She had never been married, and she had not received the consent of her parents. She saw that the man did not dislike her past and was more steady and felt that she was worth relying on, so she quickly got married to him.
After marriage, my husband and in-laws were also very nice to her, but she felt that this husband was too honest, he could not say good things, and he was slow to do things, and he was very confusing. When I was poor in the countryside, I started to get angry again and wanted to choose to divorce my husband again, but my three-year-old daughter said that she had never been married and didn't dislike us. We were already very good. She asked her not to think badly before she could calm down. Later, after being introduced by a friend, she came to Teacher Yushan’s live broadcast room and began to get in touch with the field of traditional culture and family. She slowly adjusted her mentality and gradually improved her depression, but there were still thorns in her eyes, and all she saw was the shortcomings of her husband and in-laws.Sometimes my husband couldn't bear it anymore and wanted to beat her and scold her. The two of them had beaten her. I remember one time I almost blinded my husband's eyes, and my husband has been very cold to her since then. She thought that in the past, she was the treasure in the palm of a man's hand, so she changed it if she was unhappy, and changed many men one after another according to her temperament. In the end, since she still had to be so cowardly, she was very unwilling to accept it and started to apply to ask Teacher Yushan for guidance.
Mr. Yushan summarized the following points after listening to the life experience of her family:
1. Lack of love, because you have not got the love you want from your parents since you were a child, and you don’t know what the feeling of love is, so you want to find all kinds of love in society. Because you have never been to school and have no education, you can usually go to work for a regular job. If you don’t have the heart to endure hardships and work hard, you can only sell your appearance and your body to get the sense of accomplishment you want. Because you have too strong personality, ordinary men can't waste you and have too strong possessiveness. Therefore, they are opposed to their parents and do not respect their parents and elders. After marriage, I will not respect my husband and in-laws. I will continue to have a vicious cycle. When I encounter problems, I will not only not reflect on myself, but will have to make a divorce once I am not understood. In the past, I never learn to grow and improve myself, but I will always play with my temper and beat others. If you continue like this, you will never have a safe day.
2. Emotional sex makes people confused. Once a person is greedy for color, his IQ is almost zero. If you ignore me, I will change to another one. Your personality is too strong. For men, you can spoil you when you are unmarried, and you will think you are a treasure. But after marriage, men will not always tolerate such a tigress. Unless you don’t want to marry, you will always be a third party. But behind always destroying other people’s marriage, you will also be disliked by thousands of people, and the sins cannot be escaped! You can think about it with your heart. If you were a man or the wife of that man, what would you do if you met a woman like you? Can you tolerate it?
3. Not satisfied and do not accept your fate. As long as you are a content person, you will generally be grateful. Even if your parents are kind to your younger brother, it is because there are many children in the family, and it is normal for parents to love young people. As sisters, you should help your parents take care of your younger brother instead of being jealous and competing for favor with your younger brother. A child who knows how to be grateful and contented will be grateful and grateful even if his parents give birth to her, because his parents are unable to raise her and give her to others, or if his parents divorce and become a single-parent family, or if he is tortured by his parents since childhood, he will be grateful for his parents' grace of raising her. It is his parents who give you life and will know how to deal with people and things in a special way. But unsatisfied children often have a good attitude of not knowing how to be blessed, they just compare, care about, and have a good attitude. No matter how high a person is, he will not be content and will not be able to enjoy any happiness and happiness in the world. Everyone has happiness, but whether you can perceive and feel everything you have around you. If you are poor and want to be rich, you envy normal people for those with incompleteness, and women envy men, you only see what you don’t have in your heart, and never cherish what you have. Isn’t this a tragedy on earth? Therefore, learn to be content and always be happy. When looking at problems with gratitude in everything, you will gain more unexpected gains.
4. Filial piety, as the saying goes: Everything goes wrong, it is because of filial piety. A person has virtue and a tree has roots. If a tree has roots, it will wither and lose life. If a person loses virtue, it is like a tree has lost its roots, and life will be very small. You have done so many unethical things, your parents have given birth to you and raised you so much, you can disrespect your parents in major marriages, and not listen to your parents' words to make your marriage a mess... Now that you still have this life, you have to quickly make up for your filial piety and accumulate some virtue for yourself and your children. Because only virtue can bring wealth, only virtue can bring blessings, and only virtue can bring fate, so whether you are parents or in-laws, don’t underestimate the power of respect and filial piety. As long as you have the chance, you will cherish the good time with the elderly. If you see your parents lack, you can make up for whatever they lack so that your parents can enjoy their old age. As children, it has not been in vain to come to the world.
5. Love and responsibility, marriage is not a joke, marriage has love and responsibility, and men are not objects. It is not that the other party ignores you, and if you don’t want to be with you, you have to change one. If you don’t have to change another one, you will eventually face your initial test. Even if you are very powerful and domineering and unreasonable, your child is innocent! Parents are innocent too! If you don’t think about yourself, you have to consider your child’s feelings! I am all like this now. If the child also replicates his mother's behavior in the future, can you accept it? When will life be passed down in a vicious cycle? Either you don’t want to live a good life, you can choose to be single for the rest of your life, at least fewer people will be harmed by you, so a sense of responsibility and love are indispensable core factors in marriage. Only with love can you have a family, and only with responsibility can you have a mission.
6. Women are the best Feng Shui for the family. Men are the fate of women, and women are the luck of men. Therefore, if women can put love, give and responsibilities on their husbands, in-laws, and children, your family can gain a sense of happiness. If you are picky all day long and always pick on the other person's thorns and keep picking on the bones in the egg, then a happy marriage will definitely not be destined to be with you. You also know that you regret it. Marriage is worse than family. The more you marry, the worse it gets. If you don’t learn to grow and change yourself, it will only be worse if you continue to rely on the situation. Because your virtue has been damaged and even overdrawn, it is already lucky that you still have this life. Even your three-year-old daughter knows to be grateful and contented. If you change it, you can imagine how terrible the future will be. Have you never thought about it?
Xiaozhuang said to Kangxi: Grandson, the biggest crisis in the Qing Dynasty is not the thousands of troops outside, the biggest danger lies in your own heart.
No matter who you are? As long as you are an adult, you should learn to find answers from yourself when you encounter problems. Don’t just look outside, there is actually nothing outside. Life is a practice, and what you cultivate is your truest heart. As long as your mind becomes stronger, you have laws and thoughts, you know what to do and what not to do. There will be fewer pitfalls on the road of life, and the marriage will be smoother and happier, and you can realize the happy and happy times you want faster.
There are no parents in this world who don’t love their children, only children who don’t listen to their parents. When encountering any problems or difficulties on the road of life, you must first follow your parents’ opinions, because parents are experienced people after all, and they are also the ones who love you the most. They hope that you will live a happy life, especially the marriage problem will be related to your happiness throughout your life. Never act alone.
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