Every night when he came back from get off work, he saw his sleeping quilt rolled up on the bed in a mess; his smelly socks and underwear were thrown in the bathroom, while he was lying on the sofa, staring at the tablet without raising his head.

Sister Xin went on a business trip to Beijing and brought her primary school son over to live there.

On the fifth day, I had to call Sister Xin and ask her to pick up her son as soon as possible. I really couldn't serve this "big baby" all day.

Every night when he came back from get off work, he saw his sleeping quilt rolled up on the bed in a mess; his smelly socks and underwear were thrown in the bathroom, while he was lying on the sofa, staring at the tablet without raising his head.

When he was having dinner in the evening, he had to ask him several times before he could let him put down his tablet and come over to eat slowly. That would be fine, but he even had to feed him dinner before he could eat it. When he encountered homework, he came over and asked me to help him without thinking.

I told Sister Xin that if the child continues like this, I don’t know what it will become. I am very worried about her.

Ko Xin comforted me and said:

is okay, the child was like this when he was young, and it would be fine when he grew up.

The baby that Sister Xin finally got, and she cared for him very much.

What you want, you will definitely get something when you cry and make trouble in front of Sister Xin.

Sister Xin's spoiling for him was like a gentle trap set since childhood, trapping him and preventing him from growing up.

"It's good to grow up", but Sister Xin's whimsical thoughts.

You can’t eat by yourself when you go to elementary school. I hope he will turn around gorgeously when he is 20 years old and become a life expert in seconds?

is unwilling to do homework by yourself. How can you expect him to take his work seriously when he grows up?

Chinese-style spoiling

Children's growth requires care, and there is a kind of love that is not what children need, that is spoiling.

But many parents cannot tell what love is considered spoiling.

For this reason, experts have summarized common ways for parents to spoil their children for their self-examination.

1

easily satisfy

"Let me play with my phone for another hour!" OK OK!

"I just want to buy this toy!" OK OK, I'll buy it for you!

Parents always want to give their children the best things. As for their children, as long as the family conditions allow, they will almost always meet their requirements. Even if the conditions do not allow them, some families will do everything they can to do for their children.

2

Protecting in person

Someone once summarized four laws of tolerance: "Everyone is dead", "all come" and "New Year's Day". The fourth is the "children are still young" that many people dislike.

When I watched a movie once, the children behind me kept kicking chairs and shaking their seats, and even ran around. I couldn't help but remind the child's mother softly, but the answer I got was: "He is still young and ignorant, don't care about the child."

Although naughty children are terrible,

What's even more terrifying is the parents who protect naughty children.

3

Overhandling

We can always see many adults helping to prepare schoolbags on the way to school. The children are so at ease that they walk empty-handed. The mothers are responsible for the family affairs. The children never need to interfere, for fear that the children are tired or not.

Parents will take care of everything in detail, and in the end they will only develop the laziness and dependence of their children.

Love for children, harm to children,

Someone once asked on Zhihu: Why do many people rely on their parents but have no sense of shame?

A young man answered:

If parents cannot make their children happy, what should they do if they give birth to them? Just have money to support it. Are you happy when your child goes out to work to the death when he becomes an adult?

chewing on the parents and chewing out a "sense of justice", which is terrible.

Police is not love, but harm.

1

Doing is a machine for producing giant babies

spoiling sons is like killing sons. The warnings left by our ancestors thousands of years ago, but we forgot to leave them. Yang Jiang's father said: Educating children to be independent is better than being the first. You didn't teach him to tie his shoelaces when he was 8 years old, but he did learn it when he was 20 years old. But at the age of 20, others can already leave their parents' care and arrange their own life, but he only learned to tie his shoelaces.

2

Pampering makes the child fall into a vicious cycle

For example, the child holds a glass of water and walks well. When the mother sees it, she can't help but reminds her loudly: "Be careful, don't spill it!" The child becomes timid in an instant. The more parents are worried about their children’s poor things, the more they remind them of the bad things that will happen to their children. This creates a vicious cycle in which the more worried the parents are, the more difficult the children are, and the more they see that the children are not doing well, the more they do things for them, and the less independent the children are.

Independence is a precious wealth for children

People's abilities are gradual.

No child will grow up overnight.

grows from dependence to independence, and parents should slowly learn to "become lazy".

1

Let go and trust your child

The more worried and anxious you are, the more you have, the more problems your child will have.

The growth of children is inseparable from parents' letting go and trust.

Letting go is not to let parents relax supervision and stand by, but to let their children do things that they can do and are capable of. Parents can help their children, but they cannot do it for them.

and trust is not blindly trusting children, but based on a full understanding of children, treating children as independent people, encouraging children to make their own choices, and allowing children to bear the consequences for the choices they make.

2

Do not provide help immediately when children encounter difficulties

Given the most common example, when children encounter problems that do not understand when doing homework, parents often tell their children the answers directly, but over time, it will only make the children develop a dependent mentality. If they don’t use their brains on their own, they will soon lose the ability to think independently.

When a child encounters difficulties, he should first find a solution. The process of children seeking solutions not only exercises their thinking ability, but also improves their thinking ability.

Any independent

is not as good as the child's first

Well-known teenager expert Professor Zhang said: Most families are only children nowadays, and parents are very fond of their children. They almost meet their requirements for their children. If they can be satisfied, try to satisfy them. As parents, you must learn to reject some unreasonable requests from your children. At the same time, do not interfere too much in things that children can complete independently.

The famous psychological expert Mr. Li said: To make children independent, parents should trust their children, let them grow, and practice their children's ability to make their own decisions. Let children have the awareness of "doing what they can do" from an early age.

Giant baby is not developed in one day, and even more so is the flying phoenix.

No matter how strong the shoulders of parents are, they cannot support their children's lives. What we need to give the children the most is the strength to stand on their own.

The pictures of this article are from the Internet

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