On New Year's Eve, a 7-month-old pregnant woman in Jiangjin, Chongqing was raped by her husband in the street.
Today, a woman in Xincheng in the deep mountains refused to go home to avoid domestic violence, and her father's eldest brother was killed by her husband.
The flavor of the year has not faded yet, and all kinds of tragedies are taking turns to take place.
was still so frequent when the Anti-Domestic Violence Act was issued nearly a year ago.
Domestic violence is so common, as a victim, have you ever thought about why?
1, Are you his private property
This is the most common concept that perpetrators have.
For example, this pregnant woman in Chongqing on New Year's Eve, her facial features were distorted by her husband, and her husband said with confidence that this is my wife. Even though she cried and said to him, I'm pregnant for seven months...
In his concept, my wife is a private property and can be disposed of at will, or even trampled at will. Whenever someone interferes, stop meddling in other people's business, this is my wife, and you can beat me as soon as you want.
The clothes were not washed clean, and the food was not done well. If you beat them, you couldn’t give birth to a son. If you beat them, you would be late and you would be beaten, you would be beaten badly. If you beat them, you would be drunk, you would be beaten hard.
This is probably the daily life of domestic violence marriage.
How many women accept this life? In the so-called "marry a chicken and follow a chicken and follow a dog", they comfort themselves and deceive themselves with destiny reasons and suffer for their whole life.
But, are you a property? Is the marriage certificate his claim? Is domestic violence marriage the end of your life?
2, He really loves you?
He loves you and does not allow you to interact with other men. In the early years, the urban drama " Don't Talk to Strangers" has been fully interpreted. Love is the most impressive reason among the characteristics of domestic violence control.
Just like Taiwanese actress Helen Qingtao , she has been beaten and monitored by her husband for many years, and was even forced to cut off contact with her biological mother and could not make any friends. She cried to the media, "I really can't stand it anymore and don't want to be stared at all times. Just give me freedom. I don't want to be a dog anymore, I want to be a human being."
He controls you, threatens you, beats you and scolds you in the name of love. He doesn't want to see you have close contact with his male friends, he loves you so much. He doesn't allow you to date any man, and he loves you too much. He doesn't allow you to date anyone, he still loves you too much. So, not only do you have no male friends, but you even have female friends, but in the end you don’t even have relatives.
Is this really love?
3, Are you completely dependent on him?
In unequal marriages, domestic violence that takes economic control and takes for granted is also very common. Full-time housewives and wealthy marriages are the most typical.
The terrible logic of
is that it gives you material, money, identity and even everything you have, so it is enough to exchange for absolute control over you. Anyone with the slightest disobedience or resistance will be given economic sanctions to and physical violence.
This kind of economic sanction is actually a more painful mental violence than physical violence, because you will be powerless to resist and cannot resist, and it tramples on your self-esteem, confidence and even sense of existence.
Do you really want to fall from financial dependence to personal dependence? Will he change
4 and ?
How much violence is there? As soon as the fist falls, he hurriedly apologizes, "I'm wrong, I'm wrong, I won't make any more, and you try to forgive me." However, if you commit another crime, apologize again, and forgive again, it is a vicious cycle. Apology immediately becomes a common trick, and violence becomes a conditioned reflex.
Just like the "famous" practice of a well-known English founder? Because he disagrees with his wife who cares for the children at home who takes care of her children full-time, he put down his phone, bought a plane ticket, flew from south to north, beat his wife at home, and then another plane ticket, flew from north to south, and returned to decent work as if nothing had happened.
evolved into the habit of conditional emission. Can it be changed?
5, Are you good for your child?
He beats, scolds and insults you unscrupulously in front of the child. Then, he was tired of fighting and left, leaving you and the child to hold their heads and cry.
You want to end this life, you want to get rid of this fear.However, children are innocent and cannot allow children to grow up in an unhealthy family. Children must have complete fatherly and maternal love. So, for the sake of your child, you choose to endure.
But, are you trying to understand this little witness of domestic violence?
According to surveys, children who grow up in violent families have higher probability of suicide, crime, drug use, and alcohol use than children who grow up in normal families, and most of them will become perpetrators after they grow up and get married.
Are you really doing it for the children?
Your obedience is not only irresponsible to yourself, but also irresponsible to your child's growth. Rather than growing unhealthily in a seemingly sound family, it is better to grow up healthily in an unhealthily.
answered these five questions. I think you will have a new understanding of yourself, him, and children:
First, you are an independent individual, you are not whose private property, you have completely independent freedom of thought and freedom of behavior.
Second, you must maintain property freedom at all times so that you will not lose dignity and freedom.
Third, marriage is not the ultimate goal and final outcome of a woman. The so-called fatalism is nonsense. You definitely have the right and freedom to choose happiness again.
Fourth, domestic violence will definitely be addicted. When he raises his fist for the first time, he must be clear-cut sayno, . Don’t rush to ease or forgive.
Fifth, don’t believe that he built on the “love too deep” he built on punches and kicks. True love is definitely not violence, not control, not pain.
No. 6, never let your children grow up in a domestic violence environment. You can never imagine or calculate how big the psychological shadow area of a child who witnesses domestic violence will be.
Seventh, domestic violence is like a toothache, the more it is dragged, the more serious it becomes. If it is not pulled out in time, it may eventually die.
Xiaoya legal publicity:
1. Domestic violence refers to physical and mental infringement between family members through beating, binding, slaughtering, restricting personal freedom, and frequent abuse and intimidation;
2. Domestic violence does not require serious consequences as a factor;
3. Victims must be brave to say no when encountering domestic violence;
4. You must have the awareness of protecting rights and preserving evidence;
5. When facing danger, you can apply for a personal safety protection order to the court in accordance with the law.
About the author:
Zhang Xiaoya , 80 Aries, a literary and rational legal worker, has been on the road, with the same name official account, Xiaoya loves to talk (id:ixiaoya_time), looking forward to your opinions and suggestions!
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