Lan Hai said that Growing up Your Family Parenting Teacher Pay attention to the past weekend. Have you watched "Youth"? Are you sitting in the theater and crying? Have you ever had the same experience as "Chen Nian"? Have you been bullied?

Second, "bullying" at different ages is different.

The reasons for "bullying" are different from the situation at different ages. For younger children, there will be less bullying like this.

However, after the age of 9, bullying may occur, such as nicknames and verbal mockery;

The most likely period for bullying is in adolescence. The children's surrounding environment becomes relatively complex, and they receive more information. At this time, their ability and willingness to independently control their behavior has also increased.

They have two different situations. One is a timid and scared child, so the long-term state of being teased by others will appear on them; the other is a child who is becoming increasingly strong, so conflicts will arise between the two.

However, if adolescent children are bullied, they will not be willing to tell their teachers and parents because they think this is a very humiliating behavior.

But at this time, the less parents know about their children, the more they will deliberately conceal them, and the teacher's observation is not so detailed. Therefore, "bullying" usually occurs in such an unknown environment.

Why are adolescent children more likely to have "bullying" behavior?

Because adolescent children have achievement motivation and social motivation are very strong, and we will see that such "bullying" incidents are basically bullying a group or an individual in one group, which is more in line with the group psychological needs of teenagers at this stage. There may be a core character in the group that bullies others, while others are following their needs to do this.

When you are 12 years old, this situation will be more serious. During this stage of adolescence, children are eager to enter society, so their entire living environment will be relatively more complicated.

There is another very critical question: Why don’t the bullied children tell their parents and teachers? There are many reasons why

is not told, it may be because of excessive reactions and excessive intervention by parents.

It may also be that as children get older, they will feel that being bullied is a shameful thing, so they are unwilling to tell others that the more they reach adolescent children, their so-called shame will be stronger.

Therefore, parents should teach their children to deal with bullying. Whether they intervene needs to be judged based on the severity of bullying.

03 How do parents help their children?

What can parents do when their children encounter "bullying"?

The first step is to realize that the child is bullied and accept his emotions.

The child comes home and says he has been bullied. The way parents should not respond to is: Maybe he did not intentionally/not a serious matter, you will ignore him next time/You grow up, this is your own business, you should deal with it yourself!

Whether it is ignoring or criticizing one's own children, it will make it worse for the children.

At this time, the first step to do is to hold the child, or find a quiet space, sit down together, and let the child vent his emotions after being bullied.

The second step is to tell the child that he is safe.

This step is very important, let the child know that his parents believe in him and will be with him. In addition, you must tell your child that being bullied is not a shameful thing, and he can boldly tell the facts.

Step 3, understand the situation. After the child is calm, he or she knows the whole situation from the child and needs to obtain information from the relevant departments of the school. If the situation is serious, report the case to the police station and understand the relevant situation through the relevant departments. Do not only listen to the information of one party.

Step 4: Take measures to protect children.

According to the information collected above, if you do find that the child is bullied, what parents need to do is to protect the child immediately, choose to report the case or appeal to the school.

Of course, if the bullying incident has not developed to the point where it cannot be solved, it is recommended that parents give their children a support and let their children find a solution. Sometimes, parents' strong intervention will cause greater dissatisfaction among the children's group.

Step 5: Teach children how to protect themselves.

Bullying usually occurs in school, and it is impossible for parents to be with their children all the time. What should I do? Then, you need to teach your children what to do when you encounter this situation.

First: security first.

No matter what the reason is, if the bullying method is physical behavior, you must be the first to ensure that your body is not hurt. You can hide, run, fight back, and ask for help from the people around you. Secondly, try your best to prevent the other party's body from being harmed.

Second: Bravely say no

When you are bullied, you must dare to say no loudly and express your attitude (don’t call me nickname/you can’t deliberately push me). Because without attitude is equivalent to acquiescence and indulgence.

Third: Warning

If the other party does not stop after expressing his attitude, he needs to give a warning, such as: If you..., I will tell the teacher and parents.

Fourth: Take measures

If the warning is invalid, you can take measures. For a child, when he cannot handle this conflict, he can only seek authoritative help . Authority is nothing more than a teacher or a parent, so parents must not pass it on to his child that "it is a sign of incompetence to seek help from adults at all times."

Step 6: Cultivate children's social skills.

This is actually a rainy day job. We often protect them after things happen, but what is more important than protecting ourselves is to avoid becoming the target of bullying, which means that children need to improve their social abilities.

04 Only by following the bully themselves can you reduce the occurrence of "bullying".

In addition to caring for victims, we also need to care about the inner needs of bullies. The brink of children on

said in an interview that bullies are actually bullied and their hearts are very empty. They hope to satisfy their sense of accomplishment by bullying others, especially some children. They bully others, maybe because they are encouraged by others, maybe because they want to be the boss and long to be respected and admired by others, so they "bully" other children.

Let’s ask, how do they cause such inner needs? Why do you have to use this method to satisfy your inner needs?

From the perspective of educators, we should pay attention to why the bullies are like this, rather than simply criticizing them. We should understand what happened in their growth process and pull this group of children back from their loss. If they lack care and judgment, and lack the right way to meet their inner needs, they need our help.

So only by paying attention to the bully itself can we reduce the occurrence of "bullying".

Finally, I want to say that the reason behind "school bullying" is indifference.

In "Youth", when bullying occurs, most of the students watching the show, while the rest are silent. Drama comes from life, and reality is usually even worse.

Whether we pay attention to the bullying children, the degree of bullying is gradually escalating. Why didn’t we notice when the children were bullied at the beginning? The emotions and feelings of the bullied child have never been discovered and gradually developed into a "bullying incident". Indifference is the culprit.

Education should be a warm thing, not a contradictory indifference.

Movie Xiaobei said, "You protect the world, I protect you."

is so warm and powerful.

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