From a friend, Kobayashi and Ayuan (pseudonym) broke up. Kobayashi's family disagreed with their relationship and arranged a blind date for them. Ayuan is a common friend of us. Everyone knows a little about her relationship with Kobayashi: I met after work. I have been together for almost two years, and I have had a few breakups (I still haven’t separated).
The man mentioned the breakup, saying that his family did not agree and did not want to delay her anymore. I think that's just an excuse. Family opposition is not the main reason for Kobayashi and Ayuan's breakup. In this relationship, unequal efforts and demands are the main factors that lead to emotional imbalance. To be honest, Ayuan loves Kobayashi so much that she has given too much for the other person without knowing it. She loves so much that she lowers her bottom line again and again, and she can truly be humble to the dust. So much so that the story is destined to have a beautiful ending at the beginning.
Ayuan and Kobayashi got married from the company, first entered society, and became each other's first colleagues. Kobayashi is a boy with a good appearance, with an interesting personality and a harmonious temper. She is a more likable personality in the office.
Between colleagues, and when we get along day and night, A Yuan fell in love first, and she thought this boy was good. What are the specific aspects? He is smarter and more capable than her, and can always handle the work arranged by his boss quickly; he is humble and enthusiastic, and will take the initiative to help A Yuan share some of the work. Coupled with Kobayashi's extroverted and lively personality, it contrasts with the restrained and unspeakable A Yuan, which quickly made A Yuan feel "heart-moving".
So, such boring things as going to work, also have great motivation and expectations for A Yuan.
Fall in love for a long time, and the two have an ambiguous relationship, but many times, A Yuan is hot. Although Kobayashi takes care of her, she never mentions the matter of being together. After reading a lot of articles that vigorously advocate girls’ confessions, Ayuan took the first step and bravely confessed his feelings to Kobayashi. It can be said to be brave, but also to be foolish. There is a saying that "whoever says he likes first will lose." It is not unreasonable. Although there is no winning or losing, he loses the initiative after all.
Regarding A Yuan’s confession, Kobayashi’s response at that time was that the two of them did not know enough, so they could get along with each other first. He didn't say whether he liked it or not, but even such a response made A Yuan secretly happy. When they were really together, A Yuan and Kobayashi had already left their original company, each in different areas of the same city, and later on, A Yuan, the girl, thought she was "the happiest time".
From the perspective of friends and spectators, A Yuan is really passive in this love, and loves a little silly, so she can't see some of the problems in the relationship. For example, the level of care reflected in the details: Kobayashi sends her messages and calls, and Ayuan always responds as soon as possible; and Ayuan always waits for a long time to get a response when sending a message to Kobayashi. Ayuan says he is busy with work, so it doesn’t matter. For example, on Valentine's Day, other couples show their love, but they never saw A Yuan show off. When asked her if her boyfriend had given gifts, she gave him a gift, "In fact, there is nothing good about Valentine's Day, just be fine if two people are happy." Kobayashi didn't even remember A Yuan's birthday, and it was the cake prepared by her friends for her.
Only the person involved knows whether the two people are good or not, just like if you can feel cared for, only you understand. On the one hand, the hot feelings can be maintained for a while, but they can never get into the other person's heart. In the end, the thoughts you give will still be wasted and consumed.
Regarding love, many people will have such experiences and feelings: the more you care about someone and like someone, you will often lose her/him in the end. When many people love each other too much, they are like A Yuan, and they are covered by love. They don’t care about their feelings and gains. They only invest and give in and give in their feelings, and often have no good results.
Tu Lei Teacher said this in " Love Defense War ", "You can like something, but you can't be tied to this thing.So if you love him, you must first love your self-esteem, otherwise you will not be able to get the other person's love. "In a romantic relationship, the more you love someone, the more you cannot lose the following three cognitions.
1. Recognize what kind of person the other person is, is it worthy of your love
It is okay to fall in love, but don't be blinded by feelings, you must see clearly what kind of person the other person is, is it worthy of your love. Love is precious, and you must really put it to someone worthy of your love. Don't just greed for the other person's appearance, ignore the other person's character, stay away from hypocritical people, stay away from There are too many people with colorful hearts, stay away from people who only fall in love with you but are not responsible for you, etc.
2. Have your own standards and standards. If you violate the standards, give up
romance. In fact, it is also a kind of maintenance of intimate relationships. To maintain this intimate relationship well, everyone must have their own standards and bottom line. The bottom line here may be self-esteem, parents, or other opposite-sex relationships, such as you cannot accept the other party and other differences. Keep sex too intimate. Within this bottom line, both parties can tolerate this relationship with a better attitude and let it grow well. But if you go against your bottom line, you must give up this relationship decisively.
3. The more you love someone, the more you should not rely on someone
last point, especially to girls, if you love someone, the more you should not rely on that person. Because healthy feelings are each other and discover the other person’s Shining point, when you give up yourself and rely too much, you will go from a big tree to a rootless duckweed - gradually losing yourself and your position. Only when you are strong and independent can you have your own roots, and only when your life is rich and interesting can you better experience a relationship.
Love is beautiful, but it will also change. When you are worth it, it is worth it! Encourage together.
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