I am Donglin Xiting. If you have a story, come to me.
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Some people are infatuated with someone, but when the other party has a master and gets married, they really can't see hope and will choose to give up. Some people are infatuated and can't stop. Even if the other party is in love or gets married, they are still being self-indulgent, thinking that as long as they persevere, they can get a bargain. This kind of thing will often lead to tragedy in the end. Sooner or later, you will understand: some marriages are destined not to belong to you, and you are not even qualified to find a bargain! The reader below has tasted such a lesson, let’s take a look at his story.
Teacher Donglin:
I am in pain now and I am helpless. People I have loved for so many years are unwilling to marry me. I really couldn't figure it out. She was divorced. I said I was willing to "take over" to marry her, but she refused me!
She and I were college classmates. I started to have a crush on her when I was in college, but before I confessed to her, she was chased away by others. I have never given up and have been in love with her. I thought that if one day she breaks up, I will confess to her and must fall in love with her. I recognized her and felt that she was my destined fate. I was not in love for the time being, it was just a test of God.
When she graduated, she broke up with her boyfriend. She has returned to being single, and I think it's a great opportunity for me. So, after asking where she went to work, I also went to that city. At that time, we were the only two of us in that city. We were not familiar with the place. Because we were classmates, we got very close and often went out to have dinner together. I thought no one snatched me this time, so I thought about simmering it in a low heat and laying the foundation for the relationship first, and confessing to her when the time is right.
However, when I finally waited until the time was right to confess to her, she rejected me and said that she had always regarded me as a classmate and a friend. I didn't give up and kept pestering her to fall in love. She finally let go and said she wanted to think about it. As a result, she fell in love with someone else in a few days. After I knew it, I asked her why she treated me like this, and was she in love with others because she was escaping me? She said no, saying that the person had been chasing her for a long time, and she liked him, so she fell in love. I asked her, did she not move at all after I pursued her for so long? She said sorry, and said nothing else, not even comforting me.
Reasonablely, I should give up at this time because all my feelings have been wasted. But I can't let go, I really can't bear to leave her. When I think that I no longer love her, I feel so cruel. So, I comforted myself as before, saying that this was God's test for me. It doesn't matter if she doesn't fall in love with me for the time being. I can wait. When she breaks up with that person, I will still pursue her.
However, year after year, they shared the burden and got married. When I heard the news that she was going to get married, my heart was cut off and I felt like I had no way out. I dare not blame her, I am afraid that if I blame her in my heart, I will hate her, and I can't do that. So I continue to wait. Since there is a possibility of breaking up in love, she may also get divorced when she gets married. Since I have identified her, I think God will arrange for us to come together in the end.
I don’t know if God is helping me again. A year later, she really got divorced. Divorce may not be a good thing for her, but it is a good thing for me. I think she has experienced the blow of divorce. If I pursue her again, she will definitely accept me. And I insisted on loving her for so many years, she will definitely be moved.
I was ready to go to her. After comforting her, I told her that I was willing to "take over" and marry her, but she refused directly, and what she said made me feel uncomfortable. She said, “I just got divorced now and I really don’t have the heart to think about marriage anymore.Thank you for still loving me, but I can't marry you. I think I once told you that I just treat you as a classmate and friend. Why don't you understand? "
I told her with a thorn in mind, "Because I love you, I just want to marry you. You refused to marry me when you were not married before. Now that you are divorced, why can't you give me a chance? Where am I inferior to others? The people you have loved will hurt you in the end. Only I will not hurt you. Can’t you marry me? ”
She still refused and said, “The decision I made will not change. I hope you don’t force others to do so, otherwise we will have no friends to do. "
After that, she probably didn't want me to pester her and blocked me. When I went to find her, she always avoided her. She was divorced, both single, and she didn't want to fall in love with me. I really don't know what to do. I loved her for so long, waited for her for so long, and had hope again and again, but she was disappointed again and again. Why did this happen? I can't figure it out. She divorced, and the road to remarriage would definitely not go smoothly. There is a ready-made person who is willing to marry her Why is she so stupid? Isn't it good to accept me and get married directly?
Donglin Xiting's emotional suggestions:
This reader's actions are called "infatuation" in a good way, but to be ugly, they are self-indulgent. When dealing with emotions, they are most afraid of being self-indulgent. This will make you blind and make you waste time and feelings on an unworthy person. In fact, he should have long been It's time to give up, and he should have changed his goal. If that were the case, he would have found his own happiness long ago. But he did not recognize the reality, blindly took chances, always thinking about picking up bargains, and always using the so-called "test of heaven" to deceive himself. It's really hopeless.
He doesn't understand why she doesn't want to marry him after divorce, and he doesn't understand why he takes the initiative to take over the market and can't get her heart. In fact, there are not so many whys, some marriages are destined not to belong to you , You don’t even have the qualification to find a bargain. For example, this reader is rejected, ignored, and hurt again and again. This is already clear to tell him that this relationship does not belong to him, but he chooses to ignore reality and always wants to find a bargain. That woman just doesn’t like him. He doesn’t have the qualification to find a bargain. If he doesn’t believe it, then he can only torture himself.
wants to say to this reader, “She doesn’t love you, she will never love you. People have made clear statements many times, why don’t you accept reality? What you should do most is to give up decisively, and to adjust yourself while you have not wasted too much time, and to find your own love and marriage is serious. Don’t always worry about the pain and things that can be given up directly, why do you have to hold on to it? If you continue to be lucky, you will be in pain. When you get older and get nothing, you will regret it sooner or later! "
Hope others can learn from this reader's story: You are qualified to love anyone, but you have no reason to be infatuated with someone who is not worthy. The other party does not love you, you must dare to accept this fact, change your goals in time, adjust your mentality in time, and don't let yourself be infatuated, but you should change someone who is worthy of your love, so that your love and marriage will have a good end. If you know that the other party does not love you, but still pretend to be great, and still wait for a lucky person to find a bargain, then sooner or later you will torture the people you torture are not like humans, ghosts, and ghosts. I hope everyone will take care of themselves and don't do meaningless things in terms of feelings.
