In March this year, a second-generation star in Taiwan was arrested by the U.S. police for terrorism and hoarding weapons and bullets.
After 260 days of detention, he was released from prison a few days ago and was deported back to China. But he was asked by the US court that he "don't enter the United States for life."
Who is this second generation of star?
He is the Taiwanese star Di Ying 18-year-old only son Sun Anzuo .
Many people are not familiar with Di Ying and Sun Anzuo, but they are recognized as "weird" mother and son in the Taiwanese entertainment industry.
Di Ying herself once revealed on the show that she had to spend 7 hours watching her son eat every day; before her son was 18 years old, she did not allow her son to go out alone, even if she went to the supermarket downstairs; her son's test scores were not less than 80 points, otherwise she would have to beat him up.
This is not the most bizarre one!
The most bizarre thing is that when Sun Anzuo was 11 years old, he slept in the same bed as Di Ying, and he had to hold his mother's breasts at night to fall asleep.
Does Sun Anzuo start to have a physiological reaction until he was 15 years old and started to have a physiological reaction, and Di Ying did not sleep in separate beds with him.
Regarding this, many people said that they could not accept it: "The children are so old, how can they still sleep with their mothers?"
But even if we all know that sleeping in separate beds with their parents is an inevitable result. But there is no clear answer to when it is best to sleep in separate beds.
Some say 0 years old, some say 1 year old, and some say 3 years old, and there are many different opinions.
In fact, in foreign countries, scientific research has long shown: "The best age to sleep in separate beds with children is 0 years old." In other words, as soon as the child is born, he should sleep in separate beds with his parents.
This scientific study concluded that compared with babies who sleep in separate beds (rooms) within 4 months, babies who sleep in separate beds (rooms) have relatively poor sleep quality, and there are more factors that are unsafe in sleep scenarios, and they are more likely to have sleep-related death problems, such as cover syndrome, sudden death in newborns, etc.
Many parents, especially fathers, may press on their children in the same bed as their children; or accidentally cover their children's mouth and nose with their hands or quilts, causing the children to suffocate.
The American Academy of Pediatrics has published a recommended guideline for preventing sudden infant death. In this guide, we can find that sleeping separately can reduce the risk of sudden infant death by 50%.
In addition to reducing the risk of sudden infant death, sleeping with the child as soon as possible is also beneficial to mothers.
On the one hand, it can ensure that mothers have deep sleep and can have more energy to take care of their children; on the other hand, sleeping in separate beds with their children can also promote the relationship between husband and wife.
Of course, it is the best age for children to start sleeping in separate beds at the age of 0. But in China, it is a common phenomenon that children are over 1 year old and have not started to sleep in separate beds.
For children over 1 year old, the difficulty coefficient of sleeping in separate beds is higher!
This is because children aged 1-3 are in the attachment period to their parents. During this stage, sleeping in separate beds or rooms can easily cause them to be separated from each other!
In addition, even if the child learns to sleep independently, it does not mean that the sleeping in separate beds is truly successful. Children may experience regressive behavior due to psychological needs at different stages.
For example, when you are sick, you need your mother's care and hug; because of your dependence on your mother, you will still urge to sleep with your mother.
At this time, we should not blindly ask for sleeping in separate beds, but tolerate children's regressive behavior. gives children a process of adaptation, so that they can gain a sufficient sense of security and happiness.
Of course, some mothers will also want to ask: "My child is over 3 years old, but he has not yet had a separate bed to sleep? What will it have? "
3-5 years old is an important period for children to establish their personality. At this stage, children's sense of independence is gradually forming.
If the child keeps sleeping with his parents at this time, it will make the child over-rely rely on his parents and his awareness of independence will also weaken.
In addition, sexual psychology research shows that children cannot intervene in parents' intimacy. If children keep intervening, it will also have an impact on their development.
Many parents may think that when they have sex with their partner, their children are already asleep and will not be affected. But in fact, after the child is 3 years old, he will begin to have a gender awareness.
They are able to keenly detect changes in their parents' bodies and changes in the hormonal breath in the room. And these will stimulate the child's sexual excitement.
There is also, if you do not sleep in separate beds with your parents for a long time, it may also cause the child to develop a complex of Oedipus or Oedipus.
Therefore, it is recommended that children after 3 years old can sleep in separate beds as soon as possible. But ideals are full, but reality is skinny. Sleeping separately cannot be done in one step, it requires a long-term and repetitive process.
In this process, parents should focus on their children's psychological needs to avoid emphasizing "sleeping separately", but ignore the sense of security and happiness that children need.
In addition to paying attention to children’s psychological needs, parents should also adjust their mentality in time. Many parents can't help but feel soft when they face their children's crying. This is human nature.
But we should believe more that separation is inevitable, and children are stronger and braver than we think.
In the book "The Art of Love" by psychologist Fromm, there is a sentence like this:
"Children must grow up, must be separated from the mother's breasts, and must become a complete and independent life. The true essence of a mother lies in caring about the growth of the child, which means also caring about the separation between the mother and the child."
Children, accepting separation from you, allowing you to grow slowly, and learning to be brave and independent is the love I want to give you the most.
