"An ignorant mother is just a bottle."
Parents are the first teacher of their children. As parents, in addition to nurturing their children to grow up, they should also give them the right education so that they can become an independent person with physical and mental health, responsibility and caring.
An improper childbirth method will not only not help children grow up, but will also become a resistance to children's growth and even a disaster.
1. I have been bedridden with my son for 15 years, and I will not be bedded until my son has a physiological reaction
Deformed maternal love comes from a lack of clear sense of boundaries.
Taiwan actress Di Ying has appeared in many classic TV series. After she got married and gave birth to her son Sun Anzuo, she took care of her husband and children at home, and put all her energy on Sun Anzuo, and her favor for her son is beyond the scope that ordinary people can understand.
Since her son was born, Di Ying has been sleeping with her son. And every time she slept with her son, she only wore underwear, and her son would touch her R room to fall asleep. It was not until Sun Anzuo was 15 years old that Di Ying discovered that her son had a physiological reaction and did not separate the bed.
Many mothers will gradually reduce the number of breastfeeding times after the child is 6 or 7 months old, while shoveling Ying has been breastfeeding Sun Anzuo until she is 12 years old. After her son eats independently, she spends 7 hours a day staring at her son for dinner.
Di Ying's family once participated in a kissing competition.Di Ying did not kiss her husband, but kissed her son. She kissed her for three hours at the time, and the son fell asleep until the end of the kiss. When Di Ying talked about these things, she not only didn’t feel any problems, but she was complacent.
I have to say that Di Ying spoiled his son Sun Anzuo. Eating and sleeping are a person's instincts. As a mother, you can guide your children in these two aspects and develop good living habits. A wise mother should spend her energy on helping her children establish a more complete personality, a more independent life ability, and a more complete knowledge reserve, rather than spending some things that parents can accomplish without having to invest a lot of energy.
Di Ying spoiled Sun Anzuo too much, and this love without bottom line and boundaries caused the whole family to suffer.
2. How terrible are people without a sense of boundaries
Di Ying's love for Sun Anzuo has no boundaries. In marriage, Di Ying is also a person without a sense of boundaries.
Di Ying still remains unchanged after marrying and having children with Sun Peng. She often goes out to party with friends and drinks until late at night. Her behavior of spending money like flowing water makes her husband who has worked hard to make money outside unable to stand it. Their daily quarrels continued, which eventually led to a divorce.
After the divorce, Di Ying regretted it soon after. Out of her strong personality, Di Ying did not go to find Sun Peng. In order to make myself feel better, I even devoted strong and extreme love to Sun Anzuo.
A person has no boundaries in life and feelings, and does not know what to do at which stage of life, nor what not to do. If such a person becomes a mother, then her maternal love is destined to be a disaster.
Sun Anzuo lives in such an extremely doting family. Until the age of 18, Di Ying would not let him go out shopping alone for his safety.
Later, Sun Anzuo went abroad to study alone, his personality became more and more rebellious, arrogant and domineering, and was suspected of intimidation. The police found guns and ammunition in his foster home and were jailed. Eight months later, Di Ying and her husband released him back to Taiwan on a huge bail.
At this time, Di Ying still used her selfless maternal love and explained that he was just a child and was ignorant.
Unexpectedly, after a few months, Di Ying was slapped in the face again. Sun Anzuo's internet celebrity ex-girlfriend came out to accuse him, but now his girlfriend came out to protect him, but Sun Anzuo did not respond to this. As a key figure in this matter, Sun Anzuo actually hid. It seems that after experiencing setbacks, Sun Anzuo still failed to learn to help him clean up the mess.
There is an old Chinese saying:
"Spoiling a son is like killing a son."
This sentence is an ever-changing truth. Children who are overly spoiled are committing suicide by chronically.
Parents all love their children, but don’t mess with loving children with spoiling them. A spoiled child generally has the following characteristics:
▇There is no love in the heart. A spoiled child is the center of the family. It can attract the attention of other family members without any effort and be easily satisfied. Therefore, it often does not know how to give, cannot establish connections with others, and does not know how to love others.
▇The values are confusing. Children who grew up in a spoiled environment cannot feel the influence of correct values. When they enter society, they cannot let themselves go, which will lead to a series of problems.
▇The child is poor. Children who grow up in a spoiled environment are often taken care of by their parents, and their children's abilities in all aspects are not trained, and their abilities are deteriorated.
▇Children hate learning. Children in a spoiled environment have many abilities that are covered up and cannot overcome the obstacles encountered in all aspects of their studies. Their grades are often low and they are prone to aversion to learning.
Many parents who spoil their children do not realize that their behavior is spoiling. They are arrogant and let their children go due to their limitations of their knowledge level or objective conditions. There are several reasons why they spoil their children:
▲ lacks a clear concept of boundaries. Such parents don’t know where the sense of boundaries is, when can they let their children stop, and how can they let their children play their best.
▲ Make up for the lack of childhood. Parents themselves are not satisfied materially or spiritually when they are in childhood. When they grow up, they will satisfy all the things they have lost in their children, and they are prone to over-attention to their children.
▲Intergenerational education. Cross-generational upbringing is an interactive relationship without a sense of responsibility between grandparents and grandchildren. Their responsibility is to play with their grandchildren.
Cultivating a sense of boundaries is not only related to children's growth, but also to children's ability to become parents in the future and educate the next generation.
3. If children with a sense of boundaries are cultivated, parents must be able to bear the responsibility of management and upbringing in order to lead their children to grow up together.
Xiaoyu has been engaged in the early childhood education industry for many years. As a parent of her child, she has dealt with children and parents for a long time at work. She summarized a set of educational methods in terms of how to cultivate children with a sense of boundary.
1. Avoid educating children with a sense of childhood
less than usual to pay attention to educating children to pursue happiness by yourself. She usually pays attention to examples and wants to be a role model for her children. She cannot ask her children not to watch TV. She has been browsing her phone all afternoon and has to teach her.
trains children as people who are capable of pursuing happiness and maintain their perception of life, rather than simply completing this process based on their own likes and dislikes.
2. Draw a clear sense of boundaries with your children
0. As a kindergarten teacher, she knows very well that some parents have deprived their children of their opportunities to grow and exercise without their consciousness. Many parents are afraid that their children will not be full or get their clothes or floors dirty, so they often take the initiative to feed their children. In fact, this deprives children of the experience of making efforts and getting results for their needs.
The teacher's own child had already trained him to drink water and eat before he was three years old. When a child learns to walk, try to let him practice more, and if he is tired, he should rest with him and encourage him to walk more. He can't pick him up as soon as he cries, so that the child can realize that he must work hard for his needs.
3. Let children do housework
Let children participate more in housework from an early age, so that children realize that as a member of the family, they have the obligation to share the burden with the family. Doing housework can cultivate children's ability to take care of themselves, train children's ability to solve problems, and cultivate children's ability to empathize with and , so that they can understand other people's thoughts, emotions, and needs.
Children who lack a sense of boundaries are prone to self-centeredness, making them feel that they are the king of this world, fall into the fog of thinking, and cannot become a complete and independent individual. However, if you are too strict and put too much pressure, a series of mental problems will arise in your children.
The true love of parents should be the combination of love and demand into one. There are both love and demands, and love is carried in demand. This is the correct way to open up children's lives.
