Text\Rola, Jiang Zuo Meiniang
Shaw Berner once said:
"Home is the only place in the world that hides human shortcomings and failures, and also contains sweet love."
If a person can establish a good family relationship, he will easily feel happiness and joy because of a good intimate relationship; but if there is constant conflicts and disputes in the family, even if he earns money every day, he will feel that life is nothing and there is no emotion to support. The management of a family requires everyone's efforts and wisdom.
The best Feng Shui for a family depends on two points: bother each other and be grateful to each other.
01. Trouble with each other is the bond between family relationships
There was a question on Zhihu :
"Isn't it good to not want to bother others?"
The most liked answer is this answer:
"In the process of asking for help, we do not simply ask others for things. The person seeking help pays the risk of self-esteem and trust in the process; the person who seeks help does not simply give, he gains dignity and interpersonal trust."
Yes, only if we bother each other, we will repay each other, and we can establish a good relationship; but if we do not bother each other, we may seem independent, the relationship cannot be continued.
Once the family loses interaction for a long time, the past emotions will eventually be diluted by the years, the past beautiful memories will be crushed by life, and the family relationship will gradually become alienated.
Once upon a time, my cousin was a person who was very afraid of trouble for others.
He was very independent at a very young age, from washing and cooking to moving and looking for a job, he never took the initiative to ask his family for help.
He relies on his hard-working personality to do a good job in his career and has always been the pride of our family.
My cousin and I live in the same city. Once, I happened to pass by his house and went upstairs to visit him. I accidentally found that he had moved.
called and asked for a long time, and then he hesitated to tell me that he is unemployed now and has moved to the suburbs.
It turns out that due to the epidemic, my cousin's company has been operating poorly in recent years, and its benefits have been getting worse day by day, and it has gone bankrupt.
My cousin has a family and a family expenses. For a while, I haven’t found a new job. My cousin’s family couldn’t even afford the rent.
My cousin is a person who is very self-respecting. He never told us anyone in our family, but just struggling to hold on. I transferred him a sum of money without saying a word and told him that there is no need to worry about paying it back. He repeatedly told him not to keep his head silent no matter what difficulties he encountered in the future, remember to tell me as soon as possible.
My cousin held my hand, and a seven-foot-foot man fell down in front of me with tears.
My cousin has found a satisfactory job again. Although it is not as good as before, relying on my turnover money, I quickly recovered my vitality and lived a happy life with my wife and children.
More importantly, the communication between him and me is more common than before, and when I encounter something, I will ask him for help, and he will do his best to help me.
Hemingway wrote in "Who is the Death Bell of ":
"No one is an isolated island, alone in the sea; everyone is like a small piece of soil, connected into the entire land."
There are always unexpected surprises in life. The meaning of
is to build a safe haven for us when the storm comes.
When the disease is unexpectedly raided and collapsed and desperate, one can only make half the result with twice the result, and a support from family affection can make us come back and invincible.
seek help from relatives in time, cheer each other up together, and hold together to keep warm. No matter how big the difficulties are, they become less difficult, and no matter how difficult the desperate situation is, there will be a turning point.
Please trouble me, I will trouble you, help each other and your feelings will be deeper.
The best family relationship is not to be wonderful for each, but to walk across. Only when there are delays and owes and miss each other can the relationship last for a long time.
02. Mutual gratitude is the sweet rain that nourishes the family
There is a word in psychology called "Ber's Law ".
means:
"When people experience strong stimulation, the stimulation they give will become insignificant."
A good family relationship is that both parties know how to be grateful and know how to repay each other's love, not that one party is always in trouble, and the other party just asks for it.
In the movie " Trouble Family " directed by Huang Lei, Wen Jinhui, an old man in his seventies, was taken care of by his wife Pan Su for the rest of his life. Pan Su would help him wash his feet every day and help him wipe his feet cloth. He was worried about everything.
But he was not grateful at all, but took everything for granted.
It was not until Pan Su asked him to sign the gift on the divorce agreement on the occasion of his birthday. He realized that he had always regarded Pan Su's efforts as "should" and never said "thank you" to his wife.
No matter how selfless love is, it will disappear in the long-term silence and ignorance.
does not know how to be grateful, it is a cancer of family relationships. It may not be as heartbreaking as betrayal, nor is it as sad and indignant as domestic violence, but it is like thousands of ants eroding bones and water dripping through stones, and finally letting the other party’s love and enthusiasm be slowly worn out!
High family relationships are never one-way, they must be an interactive process. Only with gratitude and help each other can the relationship between each other be warm and long-lasting.
At the beginning of this year, the work of writer Liang Xiaosheng , " People in the World ", won countless praises as soon as it was released.
When interviewed by reporters, Liang Xiaosheng kept mentioning his gratitude to his wife:
"In decades of writing career, it is my wife's sincere love that often makes me feel infinitely moved, grateful and grateful in my heart, which affects my writing, my life and everything."
In July 1981, Liang Xiaosheng and Jiao Dan met under the introduction of a friend.
At that time, Liang Xiaosheng was still a poor boy with nothing, with a shortage of money and a good health.
When we first met, Liang Xiaosheng honestly told Jiao Dan about his embarrassing family background.
There are many brothers and sisters in the family, they can’t eat enough and don’t wear warm clothes. There is also an older brother who is mentally ill, and the family is having a very difficult life.
Unexpectedly, Jiao Dan not only did not dislike him, but instead shed tears with heartache.
In the decades after marriage, Jiao Dan took the initiative to take on all the trivial matters at home.
She carefully raised her son, took good care of both parents, and took Liang Xiaosheng's sick elder brother to live in Beijing. She arranged everything at home and outside the home and attentively.
Without any worries, Liang Xiaosheng lived in simplicity and devoted himself to his creation.
Finally, in 1984, several novels created by Liang Xiaosheng won national awards one after another.
Liang Xiaosheng publicly said to his wife Jiao Dan:
"I want to say thank you, every day in my life.”
In life, we often make this mistake:
We will be very grateful to strangers, even if we give us a little help; but for the people closest to us, we think that all efforts are justified.
In fact, any relationship We all need gratitude and reward. Don’t neglect each other because of deep feelings or blood ties, and ignore gratitude.
I have heard of an interesting metaphor. Two people are together, like two half-full bottles of water.
pour water on each other, and live water will continue.
If it is just one Pour water into another bottle without replenishing each other, one bottle will be empty one day.
When two people get along, the process of cherishing and giving back is the basis for the warming of their relationship.
Maybe you keep in mind all the time and take the lead in time when the other person is in trouble; maybe a sincere thank you will make each other's hearts warm.
In addition to love, there is also a loyalty, a tacit understanding of never leaving, and a deep affection.
You give me a wooden peach and I repay you with Qiong Yao, and the relationship will be more mellow.
03. Mei Niang said
As the saying goes,
"The tree is so high that it never forgets its roots, and if a person is glorious, don't forget his kindness. "
The best family relationship is: if I encounter difficulties, you stand up, and I will never be absent from you when you encounter difficulties.
The process of family getting along is like running an orchard together, cultivating seedlings together, and waiting for harvest together.
Moderate trouble, with coming and going, friendship can be deeper;
Thank you for each other, and repaying your kindness, so that the relationship can last for a long time.
The bond of family, after all, is the heartache and care of each other, sincerity and tolerance of each other.
Someone understands when in trouble, some people care about when in adversity, and some people help when in desperate situations.
As long as the family can trouble and be grateful to each other, no matter how much fatigue is, it will be carefully brushed off, no matter how big the problem is, it will be resolved smoothly, and each of us will naturally become sweeter and sweeter.
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