01
Everyone’s mentality of looking at marriage is somewhat different.
Some people regard marriage as a bondage, while others regard marriage as a sacred agreement. People who are willing to enter the marriage are injured in the marriage and want to get rid of this relationship quickly.
In fact, what brings people a negative experience from beginning to end is not marriage, but that bad "love".
Xiao Wang (pseudonym) loves his wife wholeheartedly, but is severely hurt by her wife.
02
Xiao Wang and his wife met at a dance party.
At that time, both of them were college students. Xiao Wang’s university and another university jointly held a party, and everyone watched a lot of programs together. Finally, there is a group free dance where everyone can dance with their friends.
Xiao Wang got separated from his roommate. He is a relatively introverted person and doesn't like to be too close to strangers, so he doesn't want to dance.
Xiao Wang walked to the bench next to the crowd and sat down, and a girl happened to sit here as well.
The two met this way.
has such a dreamy opening, Xiao Wang and the girl have a better and better relationship. The two have common hobbies, and the atmosphere is very warm when chatting. , however, they are chatting online.
It turned out that after they left each other's contact information at the dance, the girl said that she was busy with school and Xiao Wang was introverted and shy, so the two of them were just chatting online and never met again.
Girls are not very positive about Xiao Wang’s reply, but every time Xiao Wang raises topics, girls can speak meaningfully.
Xiao Wang felt that this girl is knowledgeable and beautiful, and is the "goddess" in his heart.
The progress of the two people during college was very slow, but Xiao Wang was not in a hurry. He was slow and introverted, and he met such a girl with connotation and knowledge. He just felt that he had found a confidant. If
is in a hurry to confess, it will appear abrupt.
so it was not until college that Xiao Wang confessed to the girl after the graduation ceremony.
The girl did not hesitate and directly agreed to Xiao Wang's confession.
Xiao Wang feels that his love must be very beautiful. He and his girlfriend must be both ambitious and outstanding young people. He doesn’t have to worry about his future life. They are very compatible, whether it is economic or spiritual.
However, this is just Xiao Wang's wishful thinking.
When the two were dating, Xiao Wang found that his girlfriend was still very distant about him. Although they could do some intimate actions when they met, once they returned to their respective homes, Xiao Wang was like in college and could not get his girlfriend's response at any time.
After all, it is normal for ordinary couples to reply in seconds during the relationship period, but their girlfriends did not do so.
Xiao Wang can only adjust himself and constantly adapt to the girlfriend's attitude of being cold and hot.
Xiao Wang's salary is very high, but his girlfriend's career is not going well. Several times, his girlfriend complained to Xiao Wang, saying that her colleagues are sarcastic and their leaders are ignorant.
Gradually, her girlfriend's salary level has long been far away from Xiao Wang. earns 5,000 yuan a month, and has been maintained for more than 3 years. , and Xiao Wang's monthly salary increased from 4,000 to 12,000.
Xiao Wang has a small social circle and has few friends. He is wholehearted about his girlfriend and just wants to marry her early.
When my girlfriend was 27 years old, she finally agreed to Xiao Wang’s proposal.
This marriage was amazing, and Xiao Wang then learned about his wife's true life state. The wife has many friends, and they all like to go to bars very much, and they even go out to race on weekends.
They often go to the busiest bar street in the city center to spend five or six hours.
From 11:00 pm to 4:00 pm, they revel in endlessly and poured each other wine.
At the beginning, Xiao Wang didn’t know that his wife had this kind of hobby. In the first few months of her wedding, his wife did not go out to play. Later, my wife began to find various excuses, saying that she had to work overtime, and she went to party with her friends if she didn't go home after get off work.
The first few times, my wife was directly at the bar and the company at two points and one line, and because she didn't go home, she was not discovered.
Xiao Wang thought his wife worked all night in the company, and felt sorry for her hard work, so she didn't dare to call her, for fear of disturbing her work and delaying her progress, and for fear that if his wife had already slept, she would call her to quarrel.
Later, one time, when his wife was working overtime, it was her period. Xiao Wang was worried about her, so he mustered up the courage to call her.
Who knew that a strange man answered the phone, and the phone was very noisy, and it could be heard that it was the deafening music of the bar.
Xiao Wang's blood was cold all over, thinking that his wife had done something that she had sorry for him. That day, Xiao Wang rushed to the bar to take his wife, who was drunk and unconscious, back home.
Xiao Wang and his wife had a big fight. The deception and indifference over the years, from love to the present...
Xiao Wang felt that he was simply a joke.
But the wife swears that she just likes to drink with her friends and never does anything to sorry for her husband. Xiao Wang filed for divorce, but his wife refused.
From then on, Xiao Wang slept with his wife in separate rooms and he no longer spoke to his wife.
He planned to keep the cold war until his wife was willing to divorce, and he was ready to sign the divorce agreement . When his wife found out, she was in a bad mood. She scolded Xiao Wang for a while, and then she simply threw it away.
The wife did not divorce Xiao Wang, and she went to drink and party with her friends every night.
happened to be the time when my wife's high school classmate proposed to hold a class reunion. She dressed up and went happily, and got drunk that night at the class reunion.
She told people everywhere that Xiao Wang didn't love her anymore and wanted to divorce her, but kept silent about what she did.
The wife’s male classmate called Xiao Wang in the middle of the night and asked him to pick up his wife home. But Xiao Wang didn't want to go, and he said coldly: "Whoever you get her drunk, take her away if you want it, don't bother me."
Xiao Wang waited like this for half a year before his wife finally signed the divorce agreement.
03
Healthy love is warm and safe. When gets such a relationship, people are happy.
Many people regard the "heart-wrenching" in love as a proof of love, believing that only is jealous, conflicted, and tantrums can prove that they love each other. In fact, this idea is very immature.
Conflicts can only prove that both men and women are emotionally unstable and prone to impulsiveness.
1: In-depth communication before marriage is necessary
Any couple of men and women can’t just “love” in the love stage before marriage.
When many people are in love, they have a thick "filter" to see their lovers. When communicating information about their families and conditions, their attention is also on their feelings and they do not pay enough attention to this information.
even beautify this information, make excuses for the other party, and excuse unfavorable conditions.
Or, like the man in the previous plot, becomes " Love Brain ". Even if finds that the other party has some problems that make him dissatisfied, he still makes excuses for the other party.
In fact, this shows that if you know rationally that the other party has problems and if you don’t make excuses with , these shortcomings and problems will become emotional obstacles.
So people's feelings have turned such pre-marital communication into ineffective communication.
2: In normal love, you should not be afraid of "disturbing"
In love, humble people work the hardest.
Because he actually cannot clearly feel that he is loved and cannot confirm that he is worthy of the other party’s love. He gives a lot of love but gets very little. The more he doesn't get the other person's affirmation, the more humble he becomes.
and I feel that I am disturbing the other party by doing some normal contacts.
In fact, as long as it is not a contact that violates normal routine, no message can harm a relationship.
, and even if the other party cannot respond in time, it is normal to respond after the busyness is over.If the other party feels annoyed and feels bound and disturbed just because of one contact, it means that the relationship itself is vulnerable.
Normal love will make both parties in love feel stable and warm. This relationship must be safe and enjoyable.
If a person is nervous and nervous in his love, this kind of feeling itself is unhealthy. When encountering such unhealthy relationships, you must get out as soon as possible. Don’t indulge in , causing huge mental internal friction.
text/Wiwen
