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On the weekend night, I watched the first half of the movie " Life Events " and thought it was very good. I took the time to watch the second half at noon today, and I was still very touched. After reading the overall look at
, I have been thinking about two questions:
How did a person survive when he was at a low point in his life? How can a person with childhood trauma heal himself?
For this, I analyzed the 10 shot languages in the movie and found the answer.
The first shot: Three sides surrounded
The movie begins, Zhu Yilong plays Mo Sanmei (hereinafter referred to as the third brother) is sorting out Xiaowen's grandmother. He is an embalmer . His ancestors run a funeral shop called "Going Heaven".
He got started with the job just after he came out of prison.
After finishing grandma's sorting, Xiaowen's aunt found that the gold ring on grandma's hand was gone, so she started to refuse, and everyone around her also looked at the third brother with strange eyes.
After returning home, the third brother went to find a girlfriend, and then he found out that it was his girlfriend and Lao Liu.
But he fought with Lao Liu for his girlfriend, so he went to prison because of this. Now that he has come out, his girlfriend has a rich and good enemy.
The third brother returned home desperately, but found a child (Xiaowen) asked him for his grandmother and bit him hard;
The eldest brother of the wedding shop next door also came to persuade him to change his career, saying that it was unlucky for his funeral shop to open: the second brother died early and the eldest sister divorced, and he finally had a girlfriend and followed someone else.
The third brother was irritable and drove him away with loud insults.
Then, when he was alone and sat at the door, he began to release his emotions:
He looked up at the signboard of "Going to Heaven" and then looked at the three high walls that enveloped him. A sense of frustration in life firmly trapped him.
The second shot: Silently looking at 1
On the night, the third brother told the clerk Jianren and Bai Xue: There is no hope, so let’s change your career.
The two partners helped him to relieve him, but their words hit his heart, and he immediately started a fight with Jianren.
During the fight, he was pressed to the ground and saw Xiaowen staring at him fiercely. This was their first silent look.
Although Xiaowen seems to be at a high level, she is extremely uneasy because of her grandmother's death, so she is venting her emotions wildly. This is a manifestation that children's psychological needs are not met.
The third brother's uneasiness is portrayed through the description of the external environment:
One is a rainy night, and the rain falls to the ground like a line, just as his life also falls to the ground, giving people a sense of powerlessness;
One is a plaque "Going to Heaven", which once again highlights his helplessness and depression that he wants to get rid of but cannot get rid of.
The third shot: Silently looking at 2
Xiaowen has no parents and has been raised by her grandmother.
When my grandmother passed away, my uncle and aunt were going to Beijing for their son's studies, but Xiaowen was reluctant to leave. She was taken care of by her third brother for 3 days in "going to heaven".
Now that my uncle and aunt are back, Xiaowen should be raised by them.
When I sent Xiaowen to my uncle's house, my uncle and my aunt were quarreling. My aunt was unwilling to raise Xiaowen, and her words were very motivated. My third brother couldn't stand it anymore, so he went in and said: Can you be nicer to your children?
Emotional blogger He Rijun came back and said: People who are not loved can easily identify similar people in the crowd.
The third brother witnessed Xiaowen's experience and thought of his childhood, so he subconsciously maintained Xiaowen.
Finally, my uncle suggested that the third brother continue to take care of Xiaowen, and let Xiaowen choose who to follow? Xiaowen stared at the direction of the door, and the third brother's eyes dodged, wanting to see but not daring to look at her.
Because during those days of getting along, they experienced the pink urn incident and the incident of accidentally swallowing the ball. The third brother had already felt an emotional ties: Xiaowen trusted him, and he also needed Xiaowen.
Although Xiaowen brought him some trouble, she also brought him some hope in his life.
The child’s feelings are very keen. She can clearly detect who treats her well and who treats her badly.
Xiaowen found that San Ge had a soft heart under his hard appearance.
Although he was impulsive, his feelings were the most sincere:
He couldn't stand his aunt's attitude towards Xiaowen, so he went forward to argue directly; at grandma's funeral, his aunt misunderstood as a thief, so he immediately chose to take off all his clothes and prove his innocence; after he found out that his girlfriend was with Lao Liu, he started fighting with the other party directly.
He always chooses to solve the problem in the most direct way.
So, when Xiaowen ran towards him without saying a word and looked up at him, his expression was very rich: was a little unbelievable, and he was actually accepted by a child.
Everyone around him was denying him, and this child actually trusted her.
Xiaowen stared at him, and the actions in his eyes seemed to comfort him: Don’t worry.
is different from the first . At that time, they were confronting and hating, but at this moment, they began to trust each other and give each other hope.
On the way back, the third brother said: I can’t stand these monsters and monsters bullying people.
movie gives a shot: it is still that narrow road, surrounded by a small shop, the third brother drives into the world in a car, and the old father and elder sister at the door are waiting for him. Although
may conflict again, is obviously different from the three sides of the surround in the first shot. He has begun to face his emotions.
The fourth shot: She protects the third brother 1
The old father heard that the third brother brought a child to make a fuss in the funeral home, so he wanted to teach his son a lesson, and he picked up the crutch and beat the third brother.
The communication method between father and son is very intense. The third brother pointed to his head and said, "Call here."
When the crutch was about to fall, Xiaowen got out of the car, held the red tassel gun in his hand, blocked the third brother's father's crutch, and shouted: can't hit the third brother.
The third brother looked at Xiaowen's actions in surprise and was stunned. Many emotions emerged in his heart: He was actually protected by a child, and he felt a warm feeling.
The fifth shot: Silently looking at 3
The third brother promised his old father that he would earn 300,000 yuan in one month to buy a house that "goes to heaven". Otherwise, the old father would say that he would transfer the house to him, but he kept testing him with various reasons.
In the middle of the night, the third brother couldn't sleep because of Jianren's snoring. He accidentally saw the wedding photo of his ex-girlfriend, and fell off the chair in Wuzhishan at once. Xiaowen saw this scene of
, and she took this photo and sent it to her third brother.
The third brother said: If it weren't for your long-term search for your grandmother, I wouldn't have been pressed under the Five Fingers Mountain.
Xiaowen was a little sad, and then she started to work for the 300,000 yuan needed by her third brother. She found grandmother's dance companion, Grandpa Liu, to help.
Grandpa Liu told the third brother that he wanted to hold a "funeral". The third brother couldn't believe that there was no living person who held a funeral for him, but Grandpa Liu said, if you can do it, I will pay 300,000.
The third brother took this order.
At the performance of the "funeral", Grandpa Liu's son suddenly appeared with a group of people. The two sides had a "war" and even went to the police station.
came out of the police station, and Grandpa Liu explained to his third brother why he wanted to hold a "funeral" (the family was in peace after receiving a demolition payment from the family two years ago, and he wanted to find an excuse to spend the money).
Grandpa Liu said that Xiaowen asked him for help because he wanted to help the third brother unlock the Wuzhishan that suppressed him.
On the car back, the third brother couldn't calm down for a long time, and he thought about Grandpa Liu's words.
Then through the rearview mirror in the car, and Xiaowen had a third silent look, and the third brother was once again moved by Xiaowen's warmth.
Yes, the relationship between children is very simple. If you warm me, I will find a way to warm you.
The sixth shot: She protected the third brother 2
back to "going to heaven", the old father once again lost his temper with the third brother's incompetence (helping Grandpa Liu to the police station to hold a funeral) and threw a tantrum in the house, watching the father and son beating again.
Xiaowen stood up again and admitted that he was the job he helped the third brother take on. If you want to hit me, just hit me.
The third brother looked at this situation behind and felt very complicated.
The old father ignored Xiaowen's actions and directly asked the third brother to move away before the end of the month. Jianren said soft words next to him, indicating that the third brother could change.
But the third brother stood up and said irritably: In his heart, everything he did was wrong, how could I change it?
Hand and son are both disappointed with each other: The father is disappointed with his son's performance, and the son is also disappointed with his father's ability to never see his own strengths.
This is a bit like Gu Yankai's disappointment with Gu Er's Uncle in " Knows ". He always beats him.
Then, the third brother told his old father about his grievances over the years: when he was a child, he was beaten if he didn't go to the funeral with his father when he watched cartoons; when he was said to be a dead person, he would fight with others, and his father would not help him when he was watching;
Then, he began to question his father: I know you like your second brother, otherwise you beat me to death, and I will replace my second brother to accompany you.
The old father was so angry that he trembled for a long time, but he didn't say anything, and walked out of the house with a staggering pace.
The third brother wiped off the tears from the corners of his eyes and felt mixed feelings.
On the night, he helped Xiaowen repair the broken red tassel gun at Grandpa Liu's "funeral". Xiaowen cried: Have I caused trouble for you again?
The third brother comforted her and said: This is not your fault, it is the third brother who is incompetent.
Happy people use childhood to heal their lives, and unfortunate people use their lives to heal their childhood.
Although he knew his life was already a mess, he still wanted to protect Xiaowen's childhood.
Because since no one helped him repair the trauma of his childhood, he would repair Xiaowen's childhood trauma, so that he could heal his former self.
The seventh shot: Third Brother’s apology
Lao Liu (third brother’s ex-girlfriend’s husband) died of drunk driving, and his body was crushed to the point of being crushed. His ex-girlfriend came to ask Third Brother to hope that he could help so that Lao Liu could leave decently.
The soft-hearted third brother brought Moutai liquor and Xiaowen to ask for help from his father. Lao Liu's body had just been cleaned up, and the old father was hospitalized because of drinking.
Xiaowen also called the kindergarten, and the third brother was very anxious.
The old father said that it is important to go and read the article first, he is fine.
It turned out that Xiaowen actually performed the plot of throwing a bowl in front of the spirit at a parent-child event in kindergarten, which shocked everyone present.
She also told the teacher that Her parents are the ones who planted stars in the sky.
Looking at the nervous situation, Xiaowen lowered his head and prepared to accept the punishment.
But the third brother did not blame her, but took her to bow to all the parents: He used his actions to tell Xiaowen where the boundaries of this matter were, caring for Xiaowen's panic in his heart.
Xiaowen finally realized that his behavior was undesirable and took the initiative to apologize to everyone.
At this moment, the third brother made up for the sadness and regret that his father actually watched after being scolded in his childhood and was scolded for being killed.
At this moment, as Xiaowen's elder, he set the best example.
He gradually healed himself through education, which is the shift of emotion.
The eighth shot: The truth about the second brother's death
The third brother returned to the hospital again, and the old father finally explained why he asked the third brother to kowtow to the second brother every year.
Back then, in order to retrieve a child's body from the water, the second brother secretly went into the water. The child was caught, but the second brother disappeared.
For a dead person, their family has a living person.
father said:
Life is like a book, and all one has to turn to the last page. Some draw the period, while others draw the ellipsis . There is nothing important in life except death. What fame and profit are all passing clouds. Those who do our job must have a saint's heart.
Brother San was walking home, savoring his father's words carefully, returned to the crowded street, but his heart felt much more open.
His resentment towards his second brother and his confusion about his career suddenly melted away.
Fan Deng said: When life is at a low level, all kinds of problems in life will be amplified because our standing posture is too low. Only when life has achieved a leap in position, stand high, and look at the things around you, will you feel less painful and less troubled.
This is the emotional change process of the third brother.
Then, the third brother, who re-set his career goals, began to take his work seriously and his mental outlook was completely renewed.
He also found various channels to repair Xiaowen's damaged watch at Grandpa Liu's "funeral" to let grandma's words reappear.
The ninth shot: 4 emotional conversations
Xiaowen's biological mother finally appeared. She wanted to return her daughter, and the third brother began to panic; but Xiaowen's mother came to the door again to kneel down and begged, and the third brother softened and asked her to give herself 3 days to prepare.
One day, when he suddenly cooked and prepared a table of food for everyone, Xiaowen asked the third brother: Why are you unhappy?
The third brother subconsciously said no, and then pretended to be happy.
This is their first emotional conversation , and Xiaowen can detect the third brother's emotions.
In the kindergarten parent-child class, the third brother worked hard to play the role of a father.
Then, during the child's thanks, Xiaowen secretly said to his third brother: I know you have been lying to me, and I will never see my grandmother again, , but I won't be afraid because I have a father.
This is their second emotional conversation.
The third brother's eyes were surging again, He was trembling all over. He stared at Xiaowen, then lowered his head and refused to let himself cry. He looked at Xiaowen again, as if he was wondering if this was true.
Xiaowen gave him a big hug, concealing his helplessness.
When I went home at night, the third brother asked Xiaowen to recite his name, home address and phone number. Xiaowen was a little impatient.
The third brother asked Xiaowen: You won’t forget me in the future, right?
Xiaowen proved her feelings with actions. She had already regarded her third brother as her father, so she kissed her third brother.
The third brother was still a little at a loss and hurriedly left with the mirror as an excuse. This was their third emotional conversation.
When Xiaowen came back, he was already asleep. The third brother looked at Xiaowen who was sleeping soundly and felt very reluctant.
But while Xiaowen was asleep, he still returned Xiaowen to his biological mother.
In the car, Xiaowen suddenly woke up from her sleep. She couldn't accept the facts in front of her. hugged the third brother's arm hard. The third brother looked at Xiaowen's mother begging and suddenly pulled his arm back.
The car whizzed past and took Xiaowen away.
It was raining heavily, just like the night when Xiaowen came to this house to look for his grandmother, and the third brother was very tolerant at this moment.
But Xiaowen kept pounding the car window and cried loudly, and the third brother no longer wanted to hide his emotions. He ran wildly, trying hard to catch up with the car that picked Xiaowen away.
As the car went away, Xiaowen's two "dad" lingered in the third brother's heart, constantly stirring.
The third brother who returned home was scolded by Jianren and Bai Xue, and received a call from his sister, and his father was gone.
After arranging a gorgeous funeral for the old father, the third brother received a call from Xiaowen's mother: Xiaowen was lost.
Several people began to search for it frantically, but there was no result. When they returned home exhausted, Xiaowen's familiar " Third Brother" came from behind, and she ran over while shouting.
The third brother couldn't help but betray Xiaowen. Xiaowen said at a loss: My father's name is Mo Sanmei, I live in... I won't lose it...
After hearing this, the third brother hugged her hard.
This is the fourth emotional conversation.
They completed their persistence and care for their emotions with four conversations.
The tenth shot: Watch the starry sky together
The movie finally arranged a successful finale for us:
The third brother accepted Xiaowen's mother, and then their family Jianren and Bai Xue, San Ge and Xiaowen's mother sat at the door together, looking up at the starry sky.
This moment is different from the first three sides of the surround and the rainy night.
In the small yard, in addition to having a wall, there is also an endless starry sky above.
And they are people of stars.
They are also healing each other.
If you like my article, like , thank you for your support!
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Author introduction:
Holding fireworks in hand to make a living, and having poetry in mind to make love. I am Arie, a contributor, focusing on the creation of content such as women's emotions, family education and personal growth information. Welcome to follow my personal official account: I am Arui.
