Hello everyone, I am Guoma~
Guoma has only recently seen the "antenna baby" incident. After watching it, her heart hurt for a long time, for the 5-year-old boy, for herself, and for countless children who are not trusted by their parents.
1 The incident of a 5-year-old boy's "antibody" has attracted many people's attention due to the surveillance reversal of
"antibody" incident.
The parents took their children to the mall to play, and suddenly, a baby with an antenna as high as 1.8 meters fell to the ground and broke. Next to it, a 5-year-old boy stood there at a loss, and the clerk rushed up to blame him, saying that he saw that the boy kicked the baby in the antenna.
So, the boy's parents quickly apologized and took the initiative to compensate. An antenna baby such as
is worth HK$52,800. Finally, it negotiated to compensate for the cost price, which also costs more than 30,000 yuan. After compensation of
, my mother looked a little angry, and my father was not in good condition. The child looked down at the broken antenna baby, probably very scared and frightened!
Seeing this, perhaps many people think that parents are spending money on their children to learn lessons, and they teach their children a lesson.
, however, after the surveillance video of that day came out, things also reversed.
The boy did not kick the antenna baby at all, but In the crowded crowd, the boy avoided for a while and touched the antenna baby on his back. The boy's first reaction was to turn around and hold the antenna baby, but he still fell down.
That is, it was the waiter who lied, but the parents who did not trust the children. Even though the mother said angrily that she realized that her son was wronged when she saw the video, she could not change the fact that the child was hurt inside.
In the end, the company apologized and the money was returned to the parents. The child was unable to get out of the shadow of this storm in a short period of time.
The day the boy returned home, he didn't say anything, and his parents didn't say anything more. Afterwards, the boy asked his father three times, "Why dolls are so scary", and he didn't go to school for several days. As soon as the surveillance video comes out, parents feel even more guilty. If they trust their children more, they will not be so scared.
2 The pain parents gave to their children is really difficult to cure
5-year-old boy, his language expression ability is not that good, and his ability to deal with things is not so proper. Therefore, at the moment when the antenna baby fell and the waiter accused him, the child was confused and he didn't know what to do.
When parents see their children's expressions and states, they will mistakenly think that what the waiter said is true.
So, doesn't seem to be wrong with both children and parents.
is just, If parents think about it from the child's perspective first, or squat down to ask the child first, instead of directly believing the waiter, perhaps the child's emotional state will look different.
A friend of Guo's mother said, "This couple did not beat and scold the child because of this incident, it was already very good."
But Guo's mother wanted to say: Are parents' requirements for themselves so low?
Parents distrust, scold their children, etc., which is painful for children and is very difficult to heal.
A friend of Guo's mother rarely calls her parents. She is relatively introverted, and many of the trauma in her heart are left by her parents.
In the first year of my freshman year, my friend studied hard and worked hard, and then he didn't pay attention and his phone was stolen. She called back with grievance and told her parents, and then she waited for it without any comfort, but scolded her and cried about how difficult it was to make money.
Recalling the countless accusations and distrusts from parents since they grew up, my friends still feel heartbroken, but they are getting further and further away from their parents.
Later, I graduated and worked. Once, I met a bad guy on the way back from work overtime. My friend's first reaction was to run away. Fortunately, he ran away. When he returned to the rental house, his clothes had been torn and there were black fingerprints on his shoulders.
friend just called me and cried, and I asked her, "Did you tell your parents?"
friend said, " Forget it, tell them, I just think it's useless. I found a job that needs to work overtime, so I met bad people. "
was discouraged, maybe that's the case!
So, she really has few friends and has been in love for a while. She laughed at herself and said, "The person who can heal me may not appear."
The pain parents give to their children may really be difficult to heal in their lifetime.
3 How to solve the "crisis of trust" between parents and children?
Some people say that the "antenna baby" is like this after a reversal, but how should we trust our children in our daily life?
Some friend even said, " My child often lies, how do I judge? "
Some relatives also said, " Some parents believe in their children too blindly! "
In fact, in Guoma's opinion, whether the child lies or not, it depends on what the parents say. It is common for children to lie because of fear, but the attitude of parents is very important.
1. Parents express trust
First of all, parents must express their trust in their children.
Whether the child is lying or not, parents must trust their children first. This is the first step to gaining their children's trust. Even if the child is lying, the child will gradually change this bad habit after feeling his parents' trust and attitude towards things.
2. Parents show attitude
Attitude is an important factor in helping children enhance their confidence or to get rid of the problem of lying.
Even if you trust your child, you cannot make arbitrary decisions. You still have to "get the truth", such as finding "personal evidence", looking for surveillance, judging vulnerabilities based on the detailed description of the child, etc.
If the child does not lie in this process, he will cooperate with his parents confidently.
If the child lies, he will gradually realize his mistakes and tell the truth. And after telling the truth, parents still have to express their trust: "Next time, parents are willing to believe you, and hope you will not let our hopes down."
Let the child understand that he has done nothing wrong, and his parents support you. If he does something wrong, he must punish and correct it when he knows the mistake. This is the most fair education for his children.
3. Solve
When solving a problem, apology, compensation, etc. must be viewed according to the specific situation. Parents should not want to avoid themselves. The children are right, so they should seek justice. If the children are wrong, they should learn to take responsibility.
Although the child is young, the child's affairs are not small.
Message from Guoma
The trust of children and parents should be mutual.
So, when encountering similar things, will you ask your child first, or will you directly solve this problem based on your own judgment?
