In "Romance of the Three Kingdoms", Jingzhou is the most fierce competition between Liu Bei and Sun Quan . Both sides want to occupy Jingzhou, which is an important strategic position. After several battles, Liu Bei took Jingzhou and sent his most trusted Guan Yu to take charge of Jingzhou.
According to the Eastern Wu, Jingzhou was borrowed by Liu Bei and he had to pay it back, but Guan Yu just refused to give it to him, and there is also the one-sword meeting that has been passed down to this day. So, Dongwu came up with another trick: proposing marriage.
Sun Quan sent Zhuge Jin to meet Guan Yu. Who is Zhuge Jin? Zhuge Liang's brother, if you don't look at monks and Buddha's faces, Guan Yu has to give him some face.
Zhuge Jin said this in front of Sun Quan. "I heard that Yunchang came to Jingzhou. Liu Bei married his wife and had a son and gave birth to a daughter. His daughter was still young and had no one to be a man. I was willing to propose to the prince. If Yunchang was willing to agree, he would discuss with Yunchang's plan to defeat Cao Cao ; if Yunchang refused, he would help Cao take Jingzhou."
Then, he came to Jingzhou nervously. When you enter the city, you will see the long clouds. The ceremony will be completed.
Yun Chang first asked, "What is the intention of Ziyu coming here?" (No polite greetings, I can see that I am very rude)
Zhuge Jin said, "I come to ask for the favor of two families: my lord, Wu Hou, has a son, very smart; I heard that the general has a daughter, I come to ask for marriage. The two families have a good relationship and work hard to defeat Cao. This is a good thing, please think of him." (Zhuge Jin said it is neither humble nor arrogant, and it is also very appropriate)
However, Guan Gong's performance disappointed him very much.
Yun Chang was furious and said, "How can my tiger girl marry a dog son? Don't look at your brother's face, and behead your head immediately! Don't say more!" Then he called his left and right to expel him. (Guan Gong not only directly rejected the marriage, but also insulted Sun Quan in personality. The word "dog son" really hurts people. Although it was because of Zhuge Liang's face, it actually did not give Zhuge Jin any face.)
As a result, Jin ran away with his head and returned to see the Marquis of Wu; he did not dare to hide, so he sued him for truth. Quan was furious and said, "Why are you so rude!" He called Zhang Zhao and other civil and military officials to discuss the strategy of taking Jingzhou. Everyone knows the result of
. Guan Yu was later defeated by Dongwu with a trick, and was killed and Jingzhou also fell into the hands of Dongwu. Of course, it cannot be said that the loss of Jingzhou is directly related to the refusal of relatives this time, but Guan Gong’s handling is indeed inadequate.
When Mao Zonggang commented on "Romance of the Three Kingdoms", he gave a more appropriate answer on behalf of Guan Gong: the harmony between the two families is not in harmony or not in marriage. Hanzhongwang (Liu Bei-Zhaizhu's note) He once received a family in Dongwu. If the Marquis of Wu can take good care of his past, then Mrs. Sun is here, so why should he pay attention to a certain marriage? If you can't, it will be useless even if you get married. "
means that Liu Bei and Sun Quan's sister had already gotten married earlier. If they get along well, it would be enough for the relationship between Shu and Wu families to be inseparable, so there is no need to kiss each other. If they don't get along well, and it will be of little use. If Guan Gong said this at that time, his words would be more tactful and would not be too heartbreaking.
In daily life, how to reject others decently is also a science , and it requires a full understanding and research on this. Guan Gong's words hurt others and finally hurt himself.
Chinese people say "letting a line of kindness and meeting each other well in the future", which means. When you get along with others, you should not do anything. Even if you criticize others, you should leave room for each other and don't force others into a dead end.
