What's wrong with this society? requires women to be independent on the one hand, and on the other hand, they require women to be virtuous and virtuous.
Recently, Seoul, South Korea released a guide to pregnant women, guiding pregnant women: Prepare meals and change laundry for their husbands for 3-7 days before being hospitalized for delivery - "to avoid family members feeling inconvenience."
Hong Kong is so happy that I am so happy.
The whole society is talking about "female independence". But if you are independent, you will wear the "women's moral norms" of "vard":
"You have to do everything yourself, and you have to help others do everything."
So, if his women are independent, aren’t women independent enough? What we should advocate most is not the concept of "male independence"? Men do not have women, so they don’t eat, drink, and live?
01 After getting married, the woman lived as an isolated island
In the past two days, the epidemiological investigation report of a confirmed couple in Shijiazhuang was exposed, tearing open the most shocking secret of Chinese marriage , and caused nearly 30 million mothers to cry.
This is a young couple, the wife is 26 years old and the husband is 25 years old.
In this epidemiological investigation report from January 19, 2020 to January 10, 2021, Wife has been to more than 30 public places, almost all of which are related to family and children: treats his son, shops in maternal and child stores, buys stationery, buys buns, buys vegetables, buys fruits, repairs mobile phones... have been working hard.
At the same time, Her husband , what is the child’s father doing? html surfing the Internet for 36 days and staying at home for 6 days, as if I were not a member of the family. Behind the
report, we don’t know if this husband is really like an invisible person in the family.
But a woman's trivial and messy day makes us cry:
It's okay for a man to care about his wife and children, but it's hard to tolerate a woman's husband and children.
Don’t praise a woman’s decathlon, that is the biggest irony of “not being a husband”!
Because you can't count on it, I can only force myself to be strong.
02 seems to be a woman, so she naturally has to do multiple-choice questions in the workplace and raising children
Tell me about my friend Youyou mom.
" embarrassment, loneliness, helplessness, anxiety, loss..." is the keyword she gave herself after being a mother for three years.
"The embarrassment must be the first priority." She emphasized.
But before giving birth, she was a shining new woman: her mindset is sunny and her emotions are healthy. Most of the time, life status is just one word: is cool .
After giving birth to a baby, the first (and in the three years so far) biggest problem she faced : no one takes care of the child!
She has to do single choice questions in the workplace and taking care of children, which is extremely torture, painful and depressing.
is a man, and it seems that he does not need to make a choice naturally.
We take care of children because of motherhood. We don’t expect our sacrifice to be exchanged for anything.
We only hope that "as a child's father, he can understand my sacrifice and cherish my sacrifice."
" Many moments of disappointment in life are the children that have to persevere, and persistence is also meaningful. " More moments, women are forced to choose, grit their teeth and smile, let themselves go, and reconcile with life.
So you see, if you look at it from a secular perspective, some women really cannot have the so-called "independence" in the past few years when their children are young.
We can only maintain a relatively independent personality as much as possible and be ready to be tested to return to the workplace at any time.
So, what about the roles? What happens if a man chooses to take care of his children at home?
03 The internet celebrity daddy has a year of divorce after taking care of her baby: Whoever takes care of her baby, who is weak
There is a full-time daddy on Douyin named Xiaoqiang. After taking care of her baby for a year, and his wife received a divorce certificate . What's going on with
?
May 21, 2019, because he felt sorry for his wife's hard work in raising children, Xiaoqiang decided to let his wife return to the workplace and go home to become a full-time baby father.
"Very confident" Xiaoqiang experienced the first level of raising a child that day: " can't sleep well "
"23:20, 00:10, 3:20, 5:30..." He was woken up by the baby's "hungry alarm clock" again and again, and was in a panic and confused. He had not yet fallen asleep, but it was dawn.
N Next, this dad experienced the N pass with his baby.
is very troublesome: without a teacher, you can only explore
"The child is a product that comes out of the factory without instructions. It is an amazing existence, with a long standby time, and the power consumption is amazing. And it does not follow the routine on the book at all."
Time tight: every day is like a gyro, and it keeps turning
"Feed, coaxing to sleep, changing diapers, coaxing the baby, taking the baby to let the baby go, bathing the baby, buying vegetables , cooking, washing clothes, mopping the floor, cleaning the room... Working for about 21 hours a day. I am so busy that I am doing laundry and cooking are daily entertainment. "
Lost yourself: no self, only family and children
" It looks normal, but in fact, I feel my body is hollowed out on the verge of collapse, and I am almost out of reach."
No social circle: only the "mother-in-law and daughter-in-law conflict" that you have to face at any time html l2
"The baby is so young, how pitiful it is for a person to lie on the bed. If you don't hug me, I will hug you." (When I said that, I kept shaking my baby.)
"What, my biological grandson can't kiss you yet?"
No income and no dignity: I'm sorry to reach out to ask for living expenses
"Wife, look at my pocket? (Subtext: empty) "
" Well, it's not bad, the clothes are washed quite clean, keep on working hard!" html l2
"I... that... I... I... I'm right... I'm fine... I'm fine... Living expenses are gone"
Depressed and unconfident: Leaving the workplace, feeling like I have nothing to do
"I feel not very confident when I go to my wife's company as a full-time dad."
From a spirited "handsome guy" to a "yellow-faced uncle" with dark circles, from a confident white-collar workplace to a humble housewife man who is afraid of being abandoned... yes, you only have one baby.
This is not the baby's fault. The experience of dad Xiaoqiang reveals a reality: contemporary society, or most men, habitually ignore women's efforts, and believe that raising children is enjoyment, and men who charge in the workplace are the heroes of the family.
The income theory of family status only seems to have become an implicit rule.
That's why women sighed:
family belongs to two people, and the responsibility belongs to two people. Only when the division of labor is different, no one is strong or weak.
Does anyone still remember the vows he said to each other with tears at the wedding:
We voluntarily become husband and wife. From today on, we will shoulder the responsibilities and obligations that marriage has given us: be filial to our parents, educate our children, respect and love each other, trust and encourage each other, understand and give in to each other, support each other, and love our lives! In the future, no matter whether it is good or bad, whether it is rich or poor, whether it is health or illness, whether it is youth or old, we will be in the same boat, share weal and woe, share weal and woe, and become lifelong companions! We must stick to today's oath, and we will definitely be able to stick to today's oath.
Having children and supporting the elderly must be a matter of two people, not a one-man show.
is not the end of the ceremony, so there is no need to manage the marriage. On the contrary, the ceremony ends and the marriage really begins.
The editor said
Today, we are not going to praise how great women are. As men, you should thank the women who raise their cubs.
is a reminder for all men, should not think that there is anything [for-natured] .Ask yourself:
Do you know how to change diapers?
Do you know what color your baby poop is?
Do you know how many times my wife gets up one night?
Do you know how she faces the conflict between childcare in different generations?
…
If the answer is no, don’t ask at all times: “Why did you become like this”.
html More than 0 years of couples become brothers.is, a good marriage means becoming a brother. But what is the most important thing about brothers? It pays attention to loyalty in the world.
Ask yourself: Are you loyal to "brothers"?
And for us women ourselves, we don’t have to use the attitude of the victim to imply psychologically. There are always choices in life:
High heels are life, saliva towels are life, chaos is life, having financial strength to ask people to solve the problem of things, and perfume or diapers are all choices.
Since you have chosen it, try to make yourself better in new areas.
In the family role, if we want, we can still pursue "independence" : do a good job in life OKR (target management), coordinate planning, learn to handle and balance multi-party relationships, and maintain a relatively independent self and allow ourselves to grow faster.
This is a cooler job than a professional manager. Every "potential stock" is mama , I am optimistic about you!
