Family is the first school that every child enters in his life. It is of great significance to the healthy physical and mental growth of every child. However, in order to devote more energy to work, some of the new generation of parents born in the 1980s and 1990s choose to leave their children to their grandparents for education.
As time goes by, the problems faced by this intergenerational inheritance have gradually become apparent. Our ancestors lacked scientific methods of educating children and lacked skills in cultivating children's good habits.
The development of habits is actually the result of education. Developing good habits is the highest level of behavior. Therefore, the issue of habit cultivation in intergenerational education has naturally become a topic of concern to everyone.
Grandparents should pay attention to their words and deeds in front of their grandchildren
In the study of learning psychology, whether it is the cognitive school or the behavioral school, the focus of research is on obtaining direct experience and direct reinforcement. Bandura proposed another important learning model, which is observational learning .
He believes that any behavior derived from direct experience can be formed by observing role models. As long as learners observe the behavior of others under certain conditions, they do not need to experience it personally to reinforce it. They can only get behavioral reinforcement through observation and learning, role models instead of responses .
For example, in an aggression experiment, Bandura asked children to observe the aggressive behavior of role models, and the children would learn this aggressive behavior autonomously. The theory of
can also be applied to the problem of habit cultivation in intergenerational education.
In families with intergenerational education, many children have many bad habits because they stay with their ancestors every day. Children have strong imitation abilities and often see their ancestors engaging in certain bad behaviors. Over time, they will also I learned this bad habit through " role model to strengthen ".
Therefore, as grandparents, we should first actively accept the suggestions and criticisms from our children. Because they are unconscious themselves, they should avoid doing many bad habits in front of children, and they do not think that such habits are bad habits, such as spitting, not washing hands after defecation, etc.
Secondly, when grandparents get along with their grandchildren, they should pay attention to avoid their own bad behaviors as much as possible, if there are some behaviors that they cannot control.
For example, when smoking, you should try to avoid children doing it, or if you do it accidentally, you should give yourself a bad label for this behavior, and tell your children in a timely manner that it is wrong to do so and not to learn from it.
Guide children to self-management and self-evaluation
In observational learning theory, Bandura proposed that reinforcement is one of the factors that promote learning, and reinforcement is a necessary factor for the performance of learning behavior. Bandura noticed the impact of three reinforcement factors on learning, namely external reinforcement, substitute reinforcement and self-reinforcement .
Among them, Bandura emphasized the role of vicarious reinforcement and self-reinforcement. The so-called self-reinforcement means that people can spontaneously predict the results of their own actions and rely on information feedback for evaluation. Emphasize the cognition of learning and the subjective initiative of learners.
Bandura's reinforcement theory also plays a very important role in intergenerational education. In intergenerational education, grandparents can strengthen children's good habits through praise, physical encouragement or other forms, and encourage children to remember this behavior.
Of course, in order to prevent children from doing good behavior purely for rewards, grandparents should promote it through the use of external rewards, and by transitioning this behavior to intrinsic behavior, rewards should also promote children to develop more actively good habits.
Therefore, in the family, grandparents should pay attention to the cultivation of children's self-evaluation ability and promote children to carry out self-management and self-evaluation.
From the perspective of intergenerational education
Family members should try to maintain consistency on children's habit training issues . When there are disputes, try to avoid private discussions among children. In the family, the education of the grandparents should be consistent with the educational ideas of the parents as much as possible.
Because when children are young, it is a critical period for forming habits.If parents and grandparents cannot unify their education methods and have completely different ideas on how to cultivate children's habits and what kind of habits they should cultivate, this will make children the ultimate victims.
At the same time, this will also increase the probability of family conflicts. Therefore, while following past educational experiences, grandparents should also take the initiative to communicate more with their children's parents and maintain unity and consistency on the issue of habit cultivation.
To cultivate good habits, we must pay attention to methods and strategies. We must adopt humorous hints appropriately to protect children's self-esteem.
To cultivate children's good habits, we must pay attention to certain strategies. Direct and strong blame and strict correction are not easily accepted by children. For some minor habit problems, it is best for the elders to point them out without hurting the children's self-esteem.
Here is an example. One day, a guest with a baby came to the house, and there were not enough diapers, so a grandfather handed over his grandson's towel.
The grandson immediately stepped forward to stop him and said it was his own face towel. Grandpa said calmly, "I'm sorry, but others don't hang out face towels like this." So from then on, the little grandson folded his face towel neatly and hung it up to dry every time.
In this example, this grandpa gave us a good example. He did not directly say that you did not do well here, but rather tactfully, used a "misunderstanding" to remind him to fold the towels. neat . The grandson is naturally more receptive.
If the grandfather had not said this, but directly reprimanded his grandson in front of the guests for drying the towels like diapers, I think the grandson would have felt slighted and insulted.
While praising children's good habits, there is no need to reinforce children's bad habits by labeling them.
For children's good habits, if adults praise, encourage or give appropriate material rewards in a timely manner, the children's behavior will be strengthened, so that It can promote the development of good habits in children.
Therefore, grandparents should focus on this point when cultivating and educating their grandchildren's habits: praise them in a timely manner and encourage their children to behave well.
After children unknowingly repeat this behavior pattern many times, the habit will naturally develop. Special attention should be paid to this process. If children have bad habits, their ancestors should not deliberately give hints and reinforcements during their education.
For example, say to others in front of your child, "This child just likes to procrastinate", "My grandson is just not very polite and doesn't say hello to others, don't mind" and so on. The behavior of
labeling with actually strengthens children's bad habits and is also a strong psychological suggestion. If the children themselves recognize that they have such a personality, then when encountering similar things again, the children will naturally go in the direction that has been labeled, which is very detrimental to the development of good habits in children.
Use patience to guide children to develop good habits step by step.
Although our ancestors have rich educational experience, after all, the experience was decades ago. Therefore, it is also a big challenge for grandparents to regain the habit cultivation and education of young children.
Children's lack of life experience and their tendency to shrink back easily when encountering problems sometimes arouse the anger of their ancestors, who think that children are too fragile and not strong enough. The fact is that in today's social background, children encounter less training, and it is more common for children to have a shrinking and weak mentality when facing difficulties.
Therefore, in the process of children's habit formation, grandparents should supervise children to complete good habits. Because developing the habit of and does not happen overnight. needs to be constantly repeated to strengthen .
It is difficult for children to have this awareness, so grandparents must observe carefully, patiently correct, and actively guide in their lives. You must not set a very high goal to educate your children at the beginning. You should set the goal lower first and then guide the children to gradually develop it.
Family is the first school that every child enters in his life. It is of great significance to the healthy physical and mental growth of every child. However, in order to devote more energy to work, some of the new generation of parents born in the 1980s and 1990s choose to leave their children to their grandparents for education.
As time goes by, the problems faced by this intergenerational inheritance have gradually become apparent. Our ancestors lacked scientific methods of educating children and lacked skills in cultivating children's good habits.
The development of habits is actually the result of education. Developing good habits is the highest level of behavior. Therefore, the issue of habit cultivation in intergenerational education has naturally become a topic of concern to everyone.
Grandparents should pay attention to their words and deeds in front of their grandchildren
In the study of learning psychology, whether it is the cognitive school or the behavioral school, the focus of research is on obtaining direct experience and direct reinforcement. Bandura proposed another important learning model, which is observational learning .
He believes that any behavior derived from direct experience can be formed by observing role models. As long as learners observe the behavior of others under certain conditions, they do not need to experience it personally to reinforce it. They can only get behavioral reinforcement through observation and learning, role models instead of responses .
For example, in an aggression experiment, Bandura asked children to observe the aggressive behavior of role models, and the children would learn this aggressive behavior autonomously. The theory of
can also be applied to the problem of habit cultivation in intergenerational education.
In families with intergenerational education, many children have many bad habits because they stay with their ancestors every day. Children have strong imitation abilities and often see their ancestors engaging in certain bad behaviors. Over time, they will also I learned this bad habit through " role model to strengthen ".
Therefore, as grandparents, we should first actively accept the suggestions and criticisms from our children. Because they are unconscious themselves, they should avoid doing many bad habits in front of children, and they do not think that such habits are bad habits, such as spitting, not washing hands after defecation, etc.
Secondly, when grandparents get along with their grandchildren, they should pay attention to avoid their own bad behaviors as much as possible, if there are some behaviors that they cannot control.
For example, when smoking, you should try to avoid children doing it, or if you do it accidentally, you should give yourself a bad label for this behavior, and tell your children in a timely manner that it is wrong to do so and not to learn from it.
Guide children to self-management and self-evaluation
In observational learning theory, Bandura proposed that reinforcement is one of the factors that promote learning, and reinforcement is a necessary factor for the performance of learning behavior. Bandura noticed the impact of three reinforcement factors on learning, namely external reinforcement, substitute reinforcement and self-reinforcement .
Among them, Bandura emphasized the role of vicarious reinforcement and self-reinforcement. The so-called self-reinforcement means that people can spontaneously predict the results of their own actions and rely on information feedback for evaluation. Emphasize the cognition of learning and the subjective initiative of learners.
Bandura's reinforcement theory also plays a very important role in intergenerational education. In intergenerational education, grandparents can strengthen children's good habits through praise, physical encouragement or other forms, and encourage children to remember this behavior.
Of course, in order to prevent children from doing good behavior purely for rewards, grandparents should promote it through the use of external rewards, and by transitioning this behavior to intrinsic behavior, rewards should also promote children to develop more actively good habits.
Therefore, in the family, grandparents should pay attention to the cultivation of children's self-evaluation ability and promote children to carry out self-management and self-evaluation.
From the perspective of intergenerational education
Family members should try to maintain consistency on children's habit training issues . When there are disputes, try to avoid private discussions among children. In the family, the education of the grandparents should be consistent with the educational ideas of the parents as much as possible.
Because when children are young, it is a critical period for forming habits.If parents and grandparents cannot unify their education methods and have completely different ideas on how to cultivate children's habits and what kind of habits they should cultivate, this will make children the ultimate victims.
At the same time, this will also increase the probability of family conflicts. Therefore, while following past educational experiences, grandparents should also take the initiative to communicate more with their children's parents and maintain unity and consistency on the issue of habit cultivation.
To cultivate good habits, we must pay attention to methods and strategies. We must adopt humorous hints appropriately to protect children's self-esteem.
To cultivate children's good habits, we must pay attention to certain strategies. Direct and strong blame and strict correction are not easily accepted by children. For some minor habit problems, it is best for the elders to point them out without hurting the children's self-esteem.
Here is an example. One day, a guest with a baby came to the house, and there were not enough diapers, so a grandfather handed over his grandson's towel.
The grandson immediately stepped forward to stop him and said it was his own face towel. Grandpa said calmly, "I'm sorry, but others don't hang out face towels like this." So from then on, the little grandson folded his face towel neatly and hung it up to dry every time.
In this example, this grandpa gave us a good example. He did not directly say that you did not do well here, but rather tactfully, used a "misunderstanding" to remind him to fold the towels. neat . The grandson is naturally more receptive.
If the grandfather had not said this, but directly reprimanded his grandson in front of the guests for drying the towels like diapers, I think the grandson would have felt slighted and insulted.
While praising children's good habits, there is no need to reinforce children's bad habits by labeling them.
For children's good habits, if adults praise, encourage or give appropriate material rewards in a timely manner, the children's behavior will be strengthened, so that It can promote the development of good habits in children.
Therefore, grandparents should focus on this point when cultivating and educating their grandchildren's habits: praise them in a timely manner and encourage their children to behave well.
After children unknowingly repeat this behavior pattern many times, the habit will naturally develop. Special attention should be paid to this process. If children have bad habits, their ancestors should not deliberately give hints and reinforcements during their education.
For example, say to others in front of your child, "This child just likes to procrastinate", "My grandson is just not very polite and doesn't say hello to others, don't mind" and so on. The behavior of
labeling with actually strengthens children's bad habits and is also a strong psychological suggestion. If the children themselves recognize that they have such a personality, then when encountering similar things again, the children will naturally go in the direction that has been labeled, which is very detrimental to the development of good habits in children.
Use patience to guide children to develop good habits step by step.
Although our ancestors have rich educational experience, after all, the experience was decades ago. Therefore, it is also a big challenge for grandparents to regain the habit cultivation and education of young children.
Children's lack of life experience and their tendency to shrink back easily when encountering problems sometimes arouse the anger of their ancestors, who think that children are too fragile and not strong enough. The fact is that in today's social background, children encounter less training, and it is more common for children to have a shrinking and weak mentality when facing difficulties.
Therefore, in the process of children's habit formation, grandparents should supervise children to complete good habits. Because developing the habit of and does not happen overnight. needs to be constantly repeated to strengthen .
It is difficult for children to have this awareness, so grandparents must observe carefully, patiently correct, and actively guide in their lives. You must not set a very high goal to educate your children at the beginning. You should set the goal lower first and then guide the children to gradually develop it.
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pictures | ABDUZEEDO
Schedule of the 11th Chinese Psychologists Conference
8, 12 am | |
Opening ceremony and 3 keynote speeches of the 11th Chinese Psychologists Conference | |
8 On the afternoon of the 2nd, | |
expert dialogue | localization application : Positive discipline, parent effectiveness, Waldorf and Montessori |
Youth counseling: Adolescence, learning and career planning | |
Intergenerational education: separation and integration, dilemmas and countermeasures | |
Marital emotions: intimacy, sex and extramarital affairs | |
Campus Bullying: Prevention Strategies and Treatment Mechanisms | |
Grief Counseling: Recovering from Loss (Addiction, Death, Divorce) | |
Zeng Haibo PhD Zhu Shuling Senior Teacher | Learning Coach Special Session |
Liao FengchiDr. | 879 Special session |
Gesang Tseren Professor | Hypnosis session |
August 13 morning | |
Professor Hu Peicheng | Keynote speech on the application and development of the theory and technology of sexual psychotherapy in China |
Dr. Nicolle Zapien | Keynote speech on how to improve the relationship between husband and wife through life coaching |
Director Guo Xiangyi | See yourself and discover the future -Family and Parenting Career Workshop |
Professor Xu Xisen | Family Crisis Intervention and Counseling Workshop |
Professor Jin Hongyuan | The practical implementation of the integration of scientific subconscious concept and traditional cultureFamily Education Keynote Speech |
Associate Professor Wang Zheng 6 | Quasi-gestalt direction workshop |
Professor Liu Wei | Workshop on the application of painting manuals in family education |
Yuan Ailing Professor | Keynote speech on the Montessori direction |
Postdoctoral fellow He Shengxi | American education practice sharing keynote speech |
| August 13 afternoon | |
Professor He Lingfeng | Pseudo-evolution Keynote speech in the direction of psychology |
Dr. Elizabeth J. Beaven | Keynote speech in the direction of Waldorf/home-school society |
Professor Zeng Wenzhi | The value and application of serious play in counseling consultation |
Professor Lian Tingjia | family game stuck in family Application workshop in education and counseling |
Dr. Lin Minpei | When psychological counseling/psychological counseling meets Internet addiction: assessment, intervention and practical operation of Internet addiction Drill workshop |
Professor Wang Jinli | Family planning direction workshop |
8-13 Evening | |
Professor Zhang Meiling | Special Lecture on Child Development and Educational Psychology at the Institute of Psychology, Chinese Academy of Sciences |
Dr. Cai Chunmei | Action Orientation Experience Workshop (Action Method): The Closest Distance between Reason and Emotion |
Excellent Psychological Achievements Exchange Exhibition | |
8 14th am | |
Guo Xiaojie Tutor | Speech in the direction of Satya |
Dr. Fang Gang | Adolescent sex education keynote speech |
Tutor Wang Jiqiong | Technical speech on practical and life-oriented family education |
Dr. Hao Jingfang | Speech on children’s creativity and education from a cognitive and learning perspective |
Professor Zheng Ning | Lecture on the diagnosis and screening of asthenia in college students |
Lorna Cordwell | Workshop on pseudo-hypnosis |
Professor Tian Xiulan | Workshop on the influence of family on personal career decisions |
Dr. Cai Lifang | Children's play therapy orientation workshop |
8 months On the afternoon of the 14th, the expert dialogue will be held. | |
Closing ceremony and the awarding ceremony by the Secretariat of the Chinese Psychologists Congress. | |
Note: The expert speech times and forum guests listed in this schedule are all drafted. Some experts and speech topics are still being determined. Specific details will be announced. Make adjustments based on actual conditions. |
Early bird price:
First phase discount price (3.20-4.20): 1980 yuan/person
Second phase discount price (4.21-5.20): 2580 yuan/person
Third phase return to regular price (5.21-8.11 Day): 3980 yuan/person
(This fee includes conference fees, materials fees, etc., excluding room and board fees)
Student Green Channel (3.20-5.20): 980 yuan/person, full-time undergraduate and postgraduate students can Submit application
Note: The above discounts at each stage are subject to full payment; if you are temporarily unable to attend, you must notify the organizing committee 15 days in advance. The quota for this period can be automatically transferred to the 12th China Psychologists Conference. Overdue Notification is non-refundable;
, plan members, and 1879 students will receive a 300 yuan discount on all prices (students in the green channel will not enjoy this discount repeatedly); all the above interpretation rights belong to the Successful Way Education Institution.
Please consult the organizing committee of the conference for details: 10-51653135/36
The second phase of the early bird price discount is in progress~
Click " to read the original text " can register online!
Click "Read the original text" to support online registration!
Early bird price:
First phase discount price (3.20-4.20): 1980 yuan/person
Second phase discount price (4.21-5.20): 2580 yuan/person
Third phase return to regular price (5.21-8.11 Day): 3980 yuan/person
(This fee includes conference fees, materials fees, etc., excluding room and board fees)
Student Green Channel (3.20-5.20): 980 yuan/person, full-time undergraduate and postgraduate students can Submit application
Note: The above discounts at each stage are subject to full payment; if you are temporarily unable to attend, you must notify the organizing committee 15 days in advance. The quota for this period can be automatically transferred to the 12th China Psychologists Conference. Overdue Notification is non-refundable;
, plan members, and 1879 students will receive a 300 yuan discount on all prices (students in the green channel will not enjoy this discount repeatedly); all the above interpretation rights belong to the Successful Way Education Institution.
Please consult the organizing committee of the conference for details: 10-51653135/36
The second phase of the early bird price discount is in progress~
Click " to read the original text " can register online!
Click "Read the original text" to support online registration!
