I was walking with my friends in the evening. At the intersection, the crowd was crowded, and it seemed like there was a dispute. From a distance, we heard a person complaining loudly: "I just want to argue like this."

text | Sister Ge picture | Internet

source | Youge (ID: HiYouGe)

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Festinger said in "Conflict, Decision and Disorder": "In life 10% of it is made up of what happened to you, and the other 90% is determined by how you react to what happened. "

I was walking with my friends at night. There was a crowd at the intersection, and it seemed like there was a dispute. We were far away. I heard a man complaining loudly from a distance: "I just want to fight for this."

A very unfamiliar sentence, if your girlfriend is whistled at, you are unmanly if you don't go up and confront her;

was splashed with water by a big car while riding a bicycle , if you don’t throw stones and curse a few words, you deserve it; if

is offended, you should immediately retaliate. The unwillingness of “why” burns repeatedly in the heart, and the hatred is difficult to relieve.

Because a person lives with a face, a tree lives with a skin, and the fight is for one breath.

But after you have been angry all your life, you will find that the more you try to be angry, the more you will be angry, and the more angry you are, the harder it will be to forget.

The greatest absurdity of people is to cling to bad things.

- 01 -

"It makes me sad, but you can't even think about it."

really likes a passage in the movie " Wild Stories ".

Audi A man was driving a luxury car on the road. There was a "hillbilly" strong man in front of him who deliberately kept changing lanes to block his way. He was disgusted and angry. He stepped on the accelerator, overtook, and opened the window to greet the strong man's family, all in one go.

Turn up the volume and the car will fly away. When the man behind is furious and unable to catch up, it’s so cool.

As a result, the Audi man's Audi broke down on the road. The strong man who had been chasing him saw a good opportunity. After getting out of the car, he started to attack the Audi man's car and smashed his glass.

The man was scared and hid in the car until the strong man defecated on his glass. The man who couldn't bear it pushed the strong man's car into the river in one breath and took the opportunity to escape.

Originally I thought this would be considered tit-for-tat. When the dust settled, the person who blocked the car was scolded, the car of the person who scolded was smashed, and the car of the person who smashed the car was pushed into the lake.

As a result, the man who slipped away looked at the stains on the window and still couldn't understand his hatred after thinking about it. He turned around and was about to hit and kill the strong man on the roadside.

The two were fighting and fighting in the car by the river. The strong man hung the Audi man on the car door and tried to ignite the car's fuel tank and kill him.

But the Audi man broke away and hugged the strong man tightly. When the police arrived, only two charred corpses were left.

How much hatred and hatred do you think? The origin is nothing more than driving out of the way. If they all knew this ending, would they still be worried about it in the beginning? Absolutely not.

But when the emotion comes, who will think about the consequences, and some people may even think of dying together: "Make me sad? Okay, you are cruel, I am in a bad mood, no one can feel better."

"Qi Pa Shuo" 》In one issue, the discussion was about whether keyboard warriors are heroes. Chen Ming shared a true story of his as the opponent.

He said:

"I consider myself a very well-educated and extremely restrained person, until one time I posted a photo of my daughter on Weibo. A stranger, in one sentence, opened up the map cannon and the gene cannon. "

" was talking about my daughter, and I subconsciously wanted to say, "What did you say?" Then I wanted to scold him with a more intense fable. But my wife advised me, when you say it, talk to him. What's the difference? "

Yes, no one has ever been angry, but after all, bad moods are not repaying good things to Qiong Yao.

You are worried about something, you are chasing after it, and you are seeking temporary happiness, but you never know what kind of disaster is behind this short-term happiness.

- 02 -

"Having hated for so many years only results in pain for those who hate."

Nietzsche said in "Beyond Good and Evil": "If you fight with the evil dragon for too long, you will become an evil dragon yourself. Staring into the abyss for too long, The abyss will stare back. "

Many people have experienced hatred and are depressed, but when you are too immersed in a bad experience, it is extremely difficult to get rid of the negative entanglement.

There was some sad news some time ago.

"My ex-husband sent wreaths at his wedding, and he was hospitalized for 16 days" tells the story of an eldest sister who, 14 years after divorcing her ex-husband, still didn't like him, so she sent him an unlucky wreath to curse him on his wedding day.

Sister Liu said that when the two were good, her ex-husband promised: "Even after we are separated, I will not find anyone else."

He broke his promise and she wanted to take revenge on him. Sister Liu printed her ex-husband's wedding photos and many wreaths and urn photos online. On the wedding day, I sent it.

As a result, after the ex-husband saw the photo, he got angry and blocked his ex-wife on her way home from get off work, and beat Sister Liu to the hospital where she stayed for 16 days.

4 years? A small thing persisted for 14 years, what is it? I hope that my ex-husband’s life will get worse and worse, and I’m keeping an eye on his life for fear of getting better.

What did she get? My ex-husband got married and I stayed in the hospital for 16 days.

Do you think her hatred is gone? I even think that Sister Liu’s hatred will last for another 14 years, or even longer.

But what's the use of hating? Isn't he happy? Or if he is unhappy, will you be happy?

It’s so ridiculous. There is even more outrageous news. In order to get revenge on her husband, a woman committed suicide by jumping off a building. She also took away her three children, the oldest was 8 years old and the youngest was 2 years old.

Because of hatred, he will destroy everything about him, his family and his children. But his children are also your children.

I really can’t bear to discuss that the deceased is dead, but it’s a pity for those innocent lives. The extreme revenge method she adopted was to destroy herself and the people she loved most.

Every depressed person has such a monologue and entanglement in his heart: "I hate, I can't let go, I can't get rid of it, I must do something."

What did you do? You ended yourself. What is the result of your revenge? It is that for the person you hate, you get to know yourself that he may not care about in his heart.

Ye Mi said in "Growing Up Like Shedding": "There are many things in life that you have to do. To do it reluctantly when you have to do it is destruction."

When hatred cannot be resolved, you must do something. Time is never about counterattack.

Just like that sentence: "The antonym of love is not not loving, but indifference."

Neglect is the greatest revenge on a person. When he is ready to fight you, you stand up and pat his butt. Turning around gracefully was the most fatal blow to him.

Living life wonderfully and living better without him is the real victory. Why punish yourself with other people's mistakes?

- 03 -

"Don't get entangled when you meet bad people, don't get entangled when you encounter bad things."

Liu Yong once said: "There is no certain limit between perfection and brokenness. It all depends on which angle you look at it."

My friend Mo Na once said I told a story: "At a station in India, a child from a slum was sitting on a chair to rest. He was in ragged clothes and didn't even have shoes.

After a while, many people waiting to take the bus came to the station.

In the crowd, a child from a rich family had one of his shoes knocked off when he got on the train.

The child from the slums picked up the shoe and wanted to give it back to the child from a rich family.

But the train passed. Coming faster and faster, the kid from the slum couldn't catch up.

At this time, he asked: "Guess what happened next?"

I shook my head, "The rich kid also put the other shoe on his foot." Throw it down. '"

It's so uncomfortable, the shoe is squeezed out, you look back, who is it? And then yelled at him? When you see someone chasing a car to give you shoes but you can't reach the shoes, do you scold the car for driving too fast? Or blame the boy for running too slowly? Is

useful? Useless.

But he threw away his shoe. The boy outside the car window was holding a pair of shoes. When he put them on his feet, he smiled. When he smiled, you laughed too.

That's enough.

I like a saying very much: "Don't get entangled when you meet a bad person, don't get entangled when you encounter a bad thing."

Because bad people will always be rotten, and entanglement will be bad in nine cases out of ten.

My friend David Xu once laughed with me about a ridiculous experience he had in an amusement park.

He described a project where the queue was very long and an aunt jumped in line. The two girls who were jumped in line argued with her. He couldn't help but help, but the aunt in turn scolded him for taking a fancy to the beauty of the girl.

The aunt said: "You kid, you peeked at that girl's breasts many times. Do you think I didn't see it?"

After I asked, he just smiled and said: "Auntie can't afford to fight, and I didn't say anything after that. What do you think? , I said I didn’t read it, the aunt would definitely insist that you clearly saw it, but you still swallowed..."

"What do you say, you say the next sentence, she always has ten sentences waiting for you, there is no end. ." He said that the moment the entanglement started, both sides were destined to lose.

is already broken, so just stop here. Because compared to the probability of you changing her, the probability of being affected by bad things is much greater.

- 04 -

"Really powerful people have given up their emotions long ago"

Kazuo Inamori once said: "Success does not require unnecessary emotions."

Not entangled and not hating does not mean forgiveness, but time is too expensive , don’t want to waste any point on someone who is not worthy.

Yang Mi once said that she is a very cruel person to herself, and the first reason for "being cruelly beaten" is emotion.

She said: "I just fight with myself and give myself orders. Once, something made me very angry. I said to myself, give you twenty-four hours, you must suppress this matter. This day, do nothing and let yourself go."

Why? Because there's a lot of work to be done, too many scenes to be shot, so many things to do, you don't have time to break down.

Really powerful people have given up their emotions long ago.

I remembered a conversation I saw inadvertently:

"Are you sad?"

"So sad that you are about to die."

"You don't look like it?"

"Do you have to cry here heartbreakingly?"

When you grow up, you will slowly discover that too many tears in life cannot wash away the sadness, and that fighting back against the current situation of anger and collapse will not help. It is better to quit emotions, let go of hatred, and start from scratch.

Finally, I would like to give you a quote from Xi Murong:

"Frustrations will come and pass, tears will be shed and they will be put away. Nothing can make me discouraged, because I have a long life."

Time is precious , don’t waste it on rotten people.

● Soundtrack at the end of the article: Tanya Tanya - "Stranger" ●

Author : Gejie , Source: Youge (ID: HiYouGe), at 21:05 every night, I will spend some time with you with healing words. Time for yourself. Please contact the original author for reprinting, and Banyiban will publish it with authorization.