text / George Mama
01
Recently I accidentally saw a program called " Searching for Love ". The program was all about real things. One of the episodes impressed me deeply. It was about a girl who passed the gold list examination. After college, parents were encouraged to divorce.
The girl is called Ding Nannan. She is 17 years old. She did well in the college entrance examination and was admitted to her favorite medical university with a score of 600 in science.
But when she received the admission notice, Ding Nannan had a bold idea in her mind. Before going to college, she had to complete one thing first, which was to help her parents divorce.
Why does Ding Nannan, who has just entered college, have such bold ideas? As a daughter, why does she want her parents to divorce?
It turns out that Ding Nannan's mother has a very bad temper and often beats and scolds her father. When Ding Nannan was reading in her room, she often heard her mother's scolding and her father's begging for mercy outside the room.
02
How bad is a mother’s temper that causes her daughter to support her mother leaving her father?
When the reporter interviewed Ding Nannan and his daughter, they had been kicked out of the house by their mother and were wandering around, occasionally staying with relatives for more than a month. It was even more exaggerated. , the father and daughter have long been accustomed to it.
Ding Nannan's father is a local middle school teacher. He always has a simple and honest smile on his face when he speaks. When he talks about his wife at home, his words are also full of fear.
According to Ding Nannan’s father, it was common for him to be kicked out of the house by his wife. Countless things were smashed in the house, and his irritable wife beat and scolded him.
Faced with her parents' quarrels, Ding Nannan had always been helpless before. Now that she has graduated from high school, she feels that she has the ability to protect her father and no longer let him live in "dire straits", so Ding Nannan resolutely supports her parents' divorce.
Ding Nannan's idea is that she doesn't want to live with her mother, and since she is going to college soon, she probably won't live with her mother either.
But Ding Nannan also knew that her father wanted to leave that home. She felt that she was an adult and could fulfill her responsibility for her father. She stood up and spoke for him so that his father could get out of the sea of suffering, so she stood up and encouraged her father to divorce her mother. .
03
Although Ding Nannan's father and mother did not divorce in the end, from the descriptions of Ding Nannan's father and daughter in the show, it can be seen that Ding Nannan's mother is indeed quite irritable.
What impact will a bad-tempered mother have on her children?
First, make children feel insecure.
Mothers have a bad temper and often quarrel with their father. The quarrels between husband and wife not only affect the relationship between husband and wife, but also easily cause disharmony in the family relationship.
If things go on like this, a disharmonious family will make children feel insecure, feel that they cannot find warmth at home, and may even resist going home.
Just like Ding Nannan in the show, she would rather wander with her father and stay with relatives than go home.
Second, let children develop a rebellious mentality
Most mothers with bad tempers are relatively strong. In the process of educating their children, if their children do anything that does not go as they want, they will yell at their children.
A mother's personality will bring fear and pressure to her children. When they face their mother, they often have to "simply compromise", otherwise they will face her mother's yelling.
Long-term suppression of emotions and compromise may make children rebellious and even hate their mothers.
is just like Ding Nannan in the show. He endured his mother's bad temper until the end of the college entrance examination. After the college entrance examination, he decided to divorce his parents and didn't even want to go home.
Third, let children suffer psychological trauma
I can't stop every quarrel between my parents, I can only choose to turn a blind eye. Growing up in such an environment, sometimes I will feel particularly helpless, and even become sensitive. When faced with a problem, choose to escape.When you grow up, you will also be very afraid of marriage, and even in your future marriages, you will unconsciously bring this irritable mood into your marriage life.
Conclusion
Lucky people are healed by childhood throughout their lives, while unfortunate people are healed by childhood throughout their lives. It can be seen that the influence of the original family on the children is huge, and an irritable mother will only destroy a family.
As mothers, we must adjust our emotions, which is good for our children and families.
interactive topic: Is there anyone in your family with a bad temper?
