2. Face is something external to the body, you can want it or not. Money is a necessary thing, you have to have it. 4. My boyfriend and I made an appointment to meet at the entrance of the park. When I arrived, I saw him already waiting for me. I pretended to be surprised and sai

1 First learn not to be angry, and then learn to make others angry.

2 Face is something external to the body, you can want it or not. Money is a necessary thing, you have to have it.

3’s wife complained: My husband bought out all her shopping cart during Double Eleven. Look at you! The husband smiled mysteriously: Haha, actually, I have already prepared it. My wife said happily: Do you still want to surprise me? Tell me, what have you prepared for me? My husband said: I didn’t buy anything, I’m ready to be scolded by you...

4 I made an appointment with my boyfriend to meet at the entrance of the park. When I arrived, I saw him already waiting for me. I pretended to be surprised and said, "Hey, where is your wife? Is she on a business trip? My husband just happens to be away today. Come on, come to my place tonight!" At this time, an old lady next to me frowned and stared at the two of us.

5 There was a silly daughter-in-law who had never seen a mirror. Her husband who was away on business brought her one when he came back. She took a look in the mirror and was shocked. Then she went back to her parents' house crying. The stupid daughter-in-law took the mirror and said to her mother: "Look, my man has changed his mind. He brought a wife back from outside." When the stupid daughter-in-law's mother heard this, she said angrily: "It's not bad, bring it over and let me see." After reading it, she started crying, and she cursed while crying. : "This heartless thing didn't just bring back a wife, he also brought back his mother-in-law."

6 Sam went to the cemetery to lay flowers and was about to leave when he noticed a man kneeling in front of the tombstone next to him.

The man seemed to be particularly sad and kept saying the same sentence: "Why do you want to die? Why do you want to die? Why do you want to die?"

So, Sam walked up to him and said: "Sir, I don't want to disturb you, but I am the first to be so sad about the loss of my relatives. I saw you for the first time. Who is buried here? Your child or your parents?”

The man adjusted his emotions and said with a choked voice.

7 Man: I found out that you have an advantage!

Woman: Oh, what is it? ?

male: If you praise me, I will tell you.

female: You are so handsome!

male: Let me just say that I read it right. Your greatest advantage is that you love to tell the truth.

8 Boss: "Ah-Dai, the company will assign you to go to Beijing tomorrow for a period of 7 days."

Ah-Dai was delighted - the boss reused me.

Dumb: "Ask the boss to assign a task, and I will definitely complete the task."

Boss: "Tomorrow there will be a foreign inspection team coming to the company for a week's inspection. I hope you will avoid it."

Dumb: "!! Boss, then I can be at home, and there is no need to go so far to Beijing."

Boss pondered.

Boss: "It's safer to go further away."

Dumb: "..."

9 A young man is always careless in doing things, so he is always unemployed. This time, he found another job, working for an antique store. On his first day at work, he accidentally broke one of the more expensive glass bottles in the store. The boss was very angry: "I will deduct the price of this bottle from your monthly salary." Upon hearing this, the young man breathed a sigh of relief and said, "Thank God, I finally found a longer-term job."

10 had been awake for a long time, and saw that his roommates were sleeping soundly. For fear of waking them up, he was careful even when going out, and looked back at them. Hey, forget it, let's leave quickly, or else we will miss the exam.

11 Once in the office, colleagues were discussing the topic of how easy it is to spend money and how hard it is to make money. Colleague A said with emotion: "I really wish I could break a penny and spend it in half."

Colleague B interjected expressionlessly: "I tried, but I can't break it apart."

12 His six-year-old son finished kindergarten and it's time to go to elementary school, but he has been reluctant to report to school.

The mother patiently explained to her son: The law stipulates that children must go to school when they are six years old, and they have nine years of compulsory education until they are fifteen years old.

Finally, the son finally sat down at the school desk with peace of mind and said to his mother with tears in his eyes: "When I am fifteen years old, will you remember to pick me up?..."