As long as I lay down, he watched beside me, which made me feel embarrassed and wanted to speak, but I didn't expect the old man to speak first. Killer: No, wait a minute, I want to help you save some money.

1, playing chess

One day I was playing chess with others in the park, and there was an old man standing next to me.

As long as I was down, he just looked at me. I felt embarrassed and wanted to speak, but I didn’t expect the old man to speak first.

"Young man, you must be a master, right?"

Oh, I suddenly became happy, how can the old man be so discerning!

"I have been playing chess for so many years, and this is the first time I have seen someone who makes a good first move."

2. Help you save money. A man in the secret room asked the killer: How much does a bullet cost? Killer: 50,000, sir. Man: Deal, I want two. Do you see the window opposite? My wife is having sex with a wild man. I'll shoot that bastard's dick off with one shot, and shoot that stinky bitch's head off with one shot! The killer raised his sniper and began to take aim, but did not fire for a long time. Man: What? The price can be further negotiated. Killer: No, wait a minute, I want to help you save some money.

3. The doctor came out of the obstetrical operating room, and the man stepped forward anxiously and asked, "How's it going?" The doctor said, "My lord, I saved the child, but it's a pity that the child..." The man choked up after hearing the news. Doctor: "Today is April Fool's Day, I lied to you, haha~" The man's face instantly beamed with joy, and the doctor continued, "Your wife is dead too.

4, speak louder A junior high school teacher has to call two classes. There are many students in each class, about seventy or eighty students in each class. Not long after school started, the names of the students have not been remembered. When a classmate's name was called to a question, no one answered. He raised his voice again, but no one answered. After a while, a weak voice said: Teacher, you Louder! Very confused: Why? Because she is next door...Teacher:

5, Confession

When you were in college, you must have often encountered people confessing their love downstairs in the girls' dormitory, and they were very good at lighting some candles to make a heart-shaped pattern or a 520 pattern, and then yelled: "So-and-so, I love you!" " and other words of confession. Once, our dormitory played a game to see who lost, so we simulated this confession scene. A roommate who lost was introverted. With our help, he lit candles, but he couldn't speak for a long time. More and more girls were watching upstairs, and many onlookers were cheering him on. After holding it in for a long time, the roommate finally raised his head and shouted: "Candles are for sale! Only 1 yuan! For 1 yuan, you can’t buy it and suffer a loss, and you can’t buy it and be fooled! "

6, eating wedding wine

I remember when I was a child, I went to a wedding banquet with my brother. My brother said to me: "A roast duck on the table has two duck legs. Most people are embarrassed to eat them for themselves. When the meal is about to start, you give me one and I will give you one." "That's it. As soon as the meal started, I hurriedly called to my brother: "Come on, I'll get you a duck leg!" My brother also greeted me: "I also have a duck leg for you to eat!" "Others were stunned when they saw it...

7, Pengci A friend of mine had a car accident a few years ago. His lower leg was amputated, and the doctor installed a prosthetic leg. I went out for a walk in the morning. Seeing an old man fall to the ground, surrounded by spectators! He thought that with so many people watching, he should be fine, so he went to help him. Unexpectedly, the old man grabbed his leg and threatened that you knocked me! Drag it to the back! The matter is serious. I saw the old man jumping up and running away! He ran so fast!

8. Looking back and smiling
On the way to school, the boy I liked called me from behind, and I wanted to turn around and show an elegant smile to let him see my beauty. As a result, because I had not fully recovered from my cold, as soon as I pursed the corners of my mouth into an arc, my nose began to flow, flowing along the arc to the corners of my mouth. Then I saw the boy standing there looking at me with frightened eyes.

9. I'm just angry.

Junior high school management is very strict. Smoking is prohibited and the punishment for being found is very severe. Even so, there will always be some students who smoke secretly. That time, I followed a few classmates to hide in a corner of the school to smoke. When I was about to finish smoking, the patrolling teacher happened to come over. We just threw away the cigarettes, but one classmate was reluctant to throw them away and smoked heavily before the teacher came over. The teacher looked at us suspiciously and asked, "What are you doing? Is the classmate with his back to me smoking again? I saw smoke coming out." Then we saw the classmate pretending to come over with smoke coming out of his mouth and nose and said, "I'm not smoking, teacher, I'm just angry." We thought we were joking and kept pushing in, but the bride's mother suddenly changed her face and said she could drive back if she didn't have 60,000 yuan. We were immediately embarrassed. We only had 10,000 yuan together with all the money we had. We thought it was almost done. Who knew that after talking for half an hour, it still wouldn't work. My friend got angry at that time. He picked up the phone and called his ex-girlfriend in front of everyone (on speakerphone) and asked, "Will you marry me?" The answer from the opposite side is that I don’t want to...