1 This girl is dressed so coolly and looks so hot.
2 Men like women’s pretty faces, and women like men’s sweet words. So women learned to put on makeup and men learned to lie.
3 I got up in the morning to wash up, and saw a bowl floating in the toilet. I couldn't help scolding my wife who was lying on the bed: "You are too outrageous. You can even throw the bowl into the toilet." My wife rolled her eyes at me and said, "You were drunk and leaned over the toilet to ask for a drink of water yesterday. I saw that you were too tired to hold it with your hands, so I handed the bowl to you." I...
4 I am a kindergarten teacher, and today I said that the children almost sat on small chairs. Otherwise the big bad wolf will eat you. All the children are seated. Only one child didn't sit down. I asked him why he didn't sit down. He said: Because I want to protect Teacher Wang, he was instantly moved.
5 When I first started working, I was carrying coffee on the elevator, but I couldn’t hold it steady and the coffee spilled on the skirt of a beautiful woman in the company.
I panicked, and the beauty turned around, and I quickly said: "I'm sorry!"
The beauty ignored me and hit the handsome guy next to me on the chest with her small fist: "It's all your fault. You bumped into someone else's coffee. Do you have a tissue? Wipe it for me..."...
Hey, I did something wrong, don't I have to take responsibility?
6 The rain kept falling...
The patients in the mental hospital rushed into the rain one after another, shouting: "Come and take a bath..."
The doctor smiled helplessly...
The doctor turned around and suddenly found a patient beside him standing as steadily as Mount Tai: "Why don't you get down? Go take a shower?"
The patient smiled slightly: "I'm different from them, they are all crazy."
The doctor was suddenly excited: "I finally cured you!"
At this time, he said: "I will wait until the water is hot..."
Doctor. "..." Xiao Ming asked the teacher in
7 class: "Teacher, is it still called water when water evaporates into the air?" Teacher: "Yes." Xiao Ming asked again: "Are the nose and mouth connected?" Teacher: "That's right." Xiao Ming: "Then when we smell urine in the toilet, is it the same as drinking urine?" Teacher: "Get out!"
8 One day, the water was turned on at school. I accidentally splashed water on my hand. A lady behind me took my hand and asked with concern: "Are your hands burned?" Although it hurt, in order to show my manliness, I gritted my teeth and said, "It's okay, it's okay." and pretended to be nonchalant. MM suddenly turned around and said to the people in line behind her: "Go back, the water is not boiled today!"
9 A fat woman asked: "Boss, how much does it cost to weigh yourself?"
The boss looked her up and down and said, "Maybe 2 yuan, maybe 600 yuan."
The fat woman asked: "Why?"
The boss said: "Weighing is 2 yuan per time, and if the scale is crushed, it will be 600 yuan.
10My neighbor Mr. Wang was chatting with me, saying that he used to be a top student, and his wife was also a top student, but their son always failed the exam.
I didn't know how to comfort him, I could only smoke silently.
He suddenly asked: "By the way, were you good at studying before? "
I'm really drunk. It's none of my business.
11 A colleague bought a mobile phone screen protector online and applied it himself, but it was full of bubbles, so he took it to a mobile phone screen protector and reapplied it. The stall owner looked at his colleague's phone, ripped off the film, and asked his colleague: "Did you apply it yourself? Colleague: "Yes." Stall owner: "What you posted is plastic, and I asked you to throw away the film." "
12 When I was a child, I went to a factory to steal iron rods and sell them. We were afraid that the security guard at the door would suspect us, so each of us took an iron rod and acted out a gang fight between the young and the Dangerous. We rushed out of the factory, and the security guard hid in the house. We rushed to the scrap station...
13 A beautiful female guest came to the house. The mother said to the child: Come on, baby, give her a kiss! The child said: I don’t want to kiss her. My father just kissed her in the corridor and she got slapped several times!
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