1 I am not afraid of beautiful women treating me as a pervert, but I am afraid of ugly women treating me as a hooligan.
2 The boys that girls like are the kind of boys who are serious and not serious, but this injustice does not delay seriousness.
3 In fact, it is not difficult to meet someone you like. Many loves start with likes and end with understanding. Later I realized that there is no conclusion to the so-called right person, probably because of the similar views; interests can be different, but never interfere with the other party. If you have something to talk about, getting along with each other is as natural as being alone. Along the way, you are you and I are me. It’s not that you can’t do without you, but it’s better to have you.
4 The physics teacher talked about the principle of electricity: "Friction can produce electricity. For example, just touch the cat's fur against the face, you can see the electric spark." "Oh my God," a little girl shouted, "How many cats do you have to keep at the power station!"
5 Once I was making braised fish, my son walked into the kitchen and asked me what are the characteristics of this fish?
I told him: "This is fresh fish, braised fish is better." Then he asked him to see how I made it...
was at work the next day, and my wife called me: "How did you teach the child! Class compositions describe the characteristics of fish. Other children write about fish's eyes and tails shaking... Our child wrote a braised fish recipe."
6 My son spent 6,000 yuan to buy a mobile phone, and the father asked in surprise: What's the use of spending 6,000 yuan to buy this mobile phone? The son said: You can do whatever you want it to do! My father said disdainfully: Try to let it spit out 6,000 yuan for me!
7: A guy is too fat, and when buying tickets, the airline said he must buy two tickets.
He thought for a moment, and since the two positions are connected wider, it is also very pleasant to sit up.
When he finally got on the plane, the airline did give him two seats, one in row 7 and the other in row 9...
8 A young monk asked the abbot:
"Master, can I smoke when I recite scriptures?"
Abbot said angrily: "No!"
Another young monk asked, "Master, can I recite scriptures when I smoke?"
Abbot: "Of course!"...
9 When the company was traveling, when staying in a hotel, a female colleague took the list of colleagues' housing, and called one by one to ask if she needed special services?
I even asked about the price! Later I was always laughed at...
10 When I was a child, my teacher told us that people should live with dignity, but when I grew up, life told me that if you want to succeed, you have to live shamelessly. The more shameless you are, the more successful you are.
11 Recently, a new girl came. She was myopic and didn’t wear glasses. She had a deep eye measure. She always had to look very close to her things. She helped her see from afar and reminded her of some small mistakes in work in a timely manner. Then she said to me gratefully: You have good eyesight. In her envious and admiring eyes, I smiled proudly. I won’t tell you that my sister actually wears contact lenses, otherwise my vision of more than 500 degrees is definitely blinder than you.
12 went to a restaurant for dinner. The boss's wife was very tough and scolded the boss like a grandson. I couldn't help but talk more, but I started arguing with the boss's wife, and took off her apron and left.
I told my boss that you should not spoil such women, the more you are, the worse you are.
As a result, my pork head was served on the table. I tasted it and it went salty to the Pacific Ocean.
I asked the boss, why is this dish so salty?
The boss said that maybe this pig was meddling too much when he was alive, so it was salty...
13 During the holiday, a friend of my mother walked towards me and said to me in surprise: "Oh, it's really a girl who has changed so much."
I felt warm in my heart, but I didn't know that the next sentence: "I looked so pretty when I was a child!"
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-