1. Waking up dazedly by her boyfriend, he said, "My dear, do you know what day is today?" I closed my eyes and muttered, "I don't know." He blew in my ear and said, "Today It's beginning of spring, do you know what the next sentence of the year's plan lies in spring?" I didn't say a word, turned over and lay flat and spread my legs. Then...
2. My wife ran away, but I was optimistic and said to myself: If you lose your horse, you know you are not good, maybe she will come back, and it will bring me some unexpected surprises. The facts are as I expected. Two years later, my wife came back with a newborn child. You see, optimistic people really have good luck, right?
3. A legend has spread in the company recently. Said that a buddy fell asleep while going to the bathroom? Whenever someone discusses this matter, I will go over it silently, not that we like to join in the fun. I just want to know, what happened after I fell asleep that day? ? ?
4. Today, I posted on WeChat and found a beauty to add me and added her decisively. After saying hello, she teased me and hinted that I suspected it was my wife’s trumpet, so I could only pretend that I didn’t understand. Then I found the right time and looked at the input on the screen, and quickly pointed to my wife’s mobile phone. , Sent several text messages, after a long while, the news of the beauty came over, so I was honest and rejected her righteously...
5. Dad called and said: "Your mom missed you , You can call your mother in a while!" I called my mother immediately and asked: "What's wrong? Mom, listen to my dad saying you want me to pull it!" My mother hurriedly said, "Ah? Don't mention it. Your dad! I’m playing mahjong in the mahjong club opposite at home! Let’s not talk to you..." After hanging up, I called my dad again and said, "My mother played mahjong in the mahjong club opposite. , Miss me!" Dad: "I see..."
6. The bag of ham I bought yesterday has an empty bag today. Ask the little niece if she eats it. Yes, my head shook like a rattle, "It's not me, maybe Erha." I nervously said to my mother, "Hurry up and go to the doctor with Erha.That ham has expired and will be poisoned if eaten. "The little niece cried "Wow" beside him: "Grandma, save me, I'm still young and don't want to die." "
7. This morning my boyfriend was dragged to have breakfast. He said to me affectionately: "When your hair reaches your waist, I will marry you, okay?" "I said you can rest assured: "I will definitely cut my hair in time, I will never get my waist, so you can't get married!" "Who knows, he immediately said: "Don't worry, it doesn't matter if your hair is less than your waist. I can discount your waist and put it around your neck, and see if you marry or not!"
8. Taking the bus, a man approached me and secretly kissed me... Then he explained in a low voice: "Sorry! I'm sorry...I have admitted the wrong person. You and my girlfriend are wearing exactly the same clothes. She is squeezing behind. If you don't believe me, look back..." I misunderstood and didn't say anything... But it's been quite a while. After standing, the girl who wore exactly the same clothes as me squeezed in and said, "Sister, your boyfriend just took me as you..." "Fuck!
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