1
A boss just bought a Mercedes-Benz 600 , great!
If I'm in a good mood, I didn't say anything, let's go for it! Enjoyable!
suddenly saw a tractor parked on the hard shoulder, and an old man beckoned to stop the car!
This buddy is in a good mood, he stopped and asked: "Master, what's the matter?"
Old man: "My car broke down, I want you to drag it!"
in a good mood Ah, I actually agreed!
"Let’s drive slowly, if my walking tractor can’t stand it, I’ll light the right light! If my old man can’t stand it, I’ll light the left light!
"Okay, no problem!"
This buddy drove this tractor sixty yards away!
drove, and found that a BMW suddenly surpassed the speed of 150 or more !
This buddy is anxious: "It's pretty good, my XX runs I'm afraid of you!"
speeded up to more than 200, completely forgetting that there is an old man behind!
The two cars are on the high speed like this!
The patrolling police found out, stunned!
reports to headquarters: "Headquarters,I found that a Mercedes-Benz and a BMW were racing at a speed of 200 per hour! What is even more exaggerated is that there is a tractor following closely, and there is an old man on the tractor, who keeps the left light on and prepares to overtake!
2
The doctor asked the patient how the patient had a fracture and replied: "I think there is sand in the shoe, so I held the pole to shake the shoe, I was shaking, and someone thought I was shocked. So, he picked up the wooden stick and gave me two sticks.
3
Xiao Ming is already in his junior year and still has no girlfriend. At the instigation of the buddies in the dormitory, he decided to chase after a long-awaited girl. One day, when he saw the girl walking alone in the playground, he followed him. Because he didn't know how to speak, Xiao Ming was very anxious. Seeing that girl went further and further away, he had to pick up something from the ground and catch up with him. : "Miss, did you drop this brick?
4
Once upon a time, there was a village called Rob Village,
There was a family living in a couple, they were illiterate. _1span2span, they had three sons The eldest son is a gangster, the second son is a chopper, and the younger son is trouble.
One day, the three brothers went shopping together.
Suddenly, the trouble disappeared, and the two of them hurried to the local security booth to call the police.
The policeman asked: "What's the matter?
The hooligan said: "I am a hooligan from Rob Village. I came with a kitchen knife today and it was nothing. I just came for trouble. ”
4
I met a girl who had long wanted to come out of the bathhouse,I wanted to get close to it. After holding back for a long time, I came out: "You take a bath, are there many men in there?" Everything below the meter fell down, and I stamped my foot in the morgue, "If you don't accept it, stand up for me!" No one dared to breathe.
6
A horse fell in love with a donkey, the horse said: I love you, the donkey said: I love you too, the horse said: kiss me, the donkey said: no, my mother said , The donkey's lips are wrong to the horse's mouth!
7
Turtles drink a lot, but they were drunk today. After waking up, my friend asked: Why can you still get drunk? The turtle sighed: Oh! Last night, the octopus fisted with the men. With so many hands, I couldn't see it. I lost miserably!
8
A certain village held a meeting to discuss the reform of funeral and burial to save land resources, and the villagers expressed their opinions. A said: I suggest! No more coffins, saving money and land. B said: I think burying it vertically can save space. Bing knocked the pipe and said slowly: I see, I only bury half of it when I stand it upright, and I save the tombstone. I know who died at a glance!
9
Three The coward walks at night. A asked B: "Are you afraid of ghosts?"
B said: "Afraid."
A asked C: "Are you afraid of ghosts?"
C also said: "Fear."
A said: "It's okay,I'm not afraid. One of you walks in front of me, the other walks behind me, and I protect both of you in the middle!
10
The sparrows and the crows play together. The sparrow said: What kind of bird are you? The crow said: I am Phoenix! Sparrow: How can there be a phoenix as dark as your tortoise son? Crow: You know a shovel, Lao Tzu is a phoenix who burns a boiler.
11
Our colleagues climbed together and reached the top of the mountain. A girl shouted indulgently: Motherland, my mother! A boy who had a crush on her immediately shouted: Motherland, my mother-in-law!
12
and my husband were away for a long time. I went home from vacation yesterday. I saw a pair of indescribable underwear hanging on the balcony. NS. Erhuo didn't raise his head and said: I dare not throw it away. You came back and found that I was missing a pair of underwear. I was afraid that I could not tell you clearly.
13
from this on stage to recite the performance, and I read it with excitement: Motherland! I am your mother...
14
Have you ever heard of bumping vegetables? Today, one or two colleagues brought me the same dishes, shredded pork with green pepper, , ants on the tree, he is hot I saw it during the meal. In the spirit of entertainment, I pressed my hand on his lunch box and shouted to copy, then put my hand on my lunch box and shouted to paste, and then opened the lunch box to eat. The Erhuo colleagues ate from me. I began to pester me. It has been an hour to learn this skill. Who will save me?
15
I want to invite female classmates out to play,I heard that her mother is fierce. Before calling, she struggled and imagined: Auntie, XXX is there or not, I want to ask her out to play! I muster my courage to call, but she didn't expect her dad to pick it up. I clearly remembered that she said: hello uncle, aunty, are you here? I want to ask her out to play.
16
move The boss went to the public toilet, and the gatekeeper said: Go in and get out of the two. The boss was taken aback: Are you still charged for coming out? The uncle said: Learn to charge two-way mobile. The boss came out of the toilet and was stopped: You squatted in Pit No. 8, and you paid one dollar for the number selection fee. If you exceed three minutes, you will pay another one dollar for the overtime fee. There is background music in the toilet, and the ringtone fee is two cents. If you come often, I would advise you to set up a public toilet package that is more cost-effective, and also send 200 sheets of straw paper...
17
A certain troop exercises, a shell accidentally fell into the melon field, and sent one. The soldiers went to check. A man in ragged clothes said with a mournful face, "Isn't it just stealing a melon, or bombarding it?"
18
A bus is driving on a rugged mountain road. It was getting dark, and the man in the car woke up from his sleep... Suddenly, he found that the tourists in the car had disappeared, and even the driver had disappeared, while the car was driving slowly along the mountain road! The man trembled and shouted: "There is a ghost! There is a ghost!" "You are," suddenly a voice came from the car window, "The car is broken, we are all pushing down, and you are sleeping alone."
19
There was a teacher who had mahjong all night and saw that the blackboard hadn’t been wiped. He was furious: “Who is the dealer today? The blackboard is not wiped!”
20
The traffic police stopped, and the traffic police said, "You just ran the red light. According to the traffic regulations, a six-point penalty was imposed. The traffic police reached out to tell grandma to show her driver's license. Grandma took out two one-yuan coins from her pocket and handed them to the traffic police. Grandma said to the traffic police again,"I think it's a big deal, six points at a time, I wrap up for a month." After the words, he kicked the accelerator and left... Money is so capricious.
21
Dad asked his son: Who will you marry as a wife in the future? The son said: I want to marry grandma, she loves me! Dad said: nonsense, how can you marry my mother? The son said: You can marry my mother as your wife, why can't I marry your mother!
23
The dog guarding the chicken farm took leave due to illness, and the farm manager taught the pig the task of guarding the chicken. The pig was very happy. When someone saw him, he said: I am a guard chicken Pig! I am a pig looking at the phone!
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