1. Classmates, the new semester has begun, and some schools have opening exams. You should know some skills to get along with the invigilator. For example: After the invigilator opens the envelope in public and sends you the test papers, you will return "This is it?" to express your self-confidence. When filling out the answer sheet, the invigilator asks you to write down your name and admission ticket number first, and you will reply "Are you teaching me to do things?" through humorous expressions to avoid yourself in an embarrassing situation.
2. Just now I saw a dirty boy on the road, his eyes kept staring at the milk in the hands of a little girl on the road. After the little girl drank the milk and threw it away, the little boy squatted down to pick up the milk on the ground and put it in his mouth. Seeing this picture, my nose was sore. Just about to lift the boy, I saw him blow the box bulgingly on the ground and kicked it down "Bang!" His horse frightened me!
3. Once the evening self-study teacher was absent, the class could blow up the country. Suddenly the principal came in through the back door and reprimanded us. Suddenly, there was no sound in the class. Then... he came in through the front door again, nodded and said, "This class is really good, very disciplined, unlike the previous class. !!!"
4. I remember that in the senior year of high school, a few buddies were bathing in the bathhouse, and the hot water suddenly stopped and the power went out. Several people were bored and started a water fight. Suddenly I wanted to pee and it was in the dark. The middle squirt out, the buddy next to me yelled, wow, hot water! Later, every time I mentioned it, I was excited and wanted to get up from the wheelchair.
5. My brother used to open an Internet cafe. One day, a few gangsters came to the Internet cafe for trouble. My brother had a brainstorm and cut off the WIFI. Everyone in the Internet cafe stood up instantly. The scene scared the gangsters away in an instant.Then he explained the situation...Every time I talked about this, my brother was excited to get up from the wheelchair.
6. Today, I looked at my roommate with an uncomfortable expression of restlessness all day. I asked him what's wrong? My roommate said: "I feel like my underwear is a bit pierced." I couldn't calm down for a long time. I wondered whether to tell him. I took his underwear and wiped the peaches.
7. I went to the convenience store to buy mineral water. The boss gave me a bottle of Wahaha mineral water, and he asked me, "How much?" The boss said, "2 yuan. "I picked up the mineral water, pointed to the package and said to the boss: "Isn't the suggested retail price above 1.5 yuan?" The boss replied: "I don't accept its suggestion."
8.
"Dad, I'm in love. The object is my classmate." "Well, what kind of person is it?" "Cute, blushing top student." "Yes, treat them well." "Hey , Dad, you are very open-minded, I will have a date later, and I will go out." "It's just a puppy love, I'm not that old-fashioned." Dad put away the newspaper in his hand and muttered to himself: "Love in school... I really miss it..." After a while, my father suddenly came back to his senses: "--but you were in a boys' school!!!???"
9. When I was in class with the opposite sex, she asked me who I liked in the class. I didn’t tell her, but asked her to guess. The same person guessed all the girls in the class.But I shook my head. At this time, she was the only girl left in the class, and the fellow blushed and asked, "Then...who do you like..." I smiled slightly, leaning into her ear and said, "Little fool, you still have boys. Didn’t guess.”
10. Remind everyone that there are so many fake money now. Let me tell you a way to distinguish, use fire, the real money will be burnt and it will be gray ash, and the fake money will be black ash when it is burned. I just tried it. The money I saved in the past few years is real. Let’s try it too. I’m not going to talk about it. My blood pressure is a bit high. Let’s lie down.
11. Tang Monk wakes up in the morning and sees Wukong violently dying on the ground, and The monk sobbed and asked: "Why is Wukong dead!" Bajie said while crying: "Master, you chanted in a dream last night..."
12. This behavior is comparable to a paternity test, but unfortunately the result is unfortunate...
13.
——Teacher, how do you write "Lying on the table"?
-add an "eight" next to the foot character
-is it written like this?
14. last August,A friend of mine from the south came to the northeast to play. I told him not to lick the railing in the yard. He said, "What's afraid of in summer, and then he went to lick it... Mouthful of paint~
15.
Wang Dazhuang bought a barrel of wine, and he couldn't let it go at home. at the door. Fearing that others would drink secretly, he posted a note on the barrel, which read: Don't drink secretly. One night later, Wang Dazhuang got up and found that the wine was half gone. Wang Dazhuang was very angry, and changed the words on the note to: fine for illegal drinking. One night later, Wang Dazhuang got up and found that the wine had gone by another quarter. Wang Dazhuang couldn't help but tore the note and re-attached a piece of paper, which read: Urine Bucket. One night later, Wang Dazhuang got up. The bucket is full. . . . . . . .
Wang Dazhuang was very angry. He tore the note again and replaced it with a note: Don't drink it secretly. . . . . . .
16.
hot pot restaurant:
"Boss, believe it or not, I will grab the hot pot and eat it with your hands" "span2 p0" Don’t bring the tableware!"
17. It was very cold recently and I had a cold. So I went to the hospital to see a doctor. The doctor touched my head and his face changed. Assistants, nurses, experts, and directors..................
and touched my head to keep warm.. . . . . . .
18.
When a little boy was in class to answer the question, he weakly said "I won't."
I said, "Boys should be more confident and bold."
He did not expect him to shout out loudly, "I won’t!
19. finally got together seven dragon balls, has one dragon ball fulfilled: I can fulfill your wish for . : I want an Aladdin's magic lamp. Aladdin: I can fulfill your three wishes, let's talk! Me: First, I want to be richer than Jack Ma, second, give me a god-level girl, third, I I want seven dragon balls. Shenlong: I can fulfill one of your wishes. I: I want an Aladdin magic lamp... Shenlong: MD, it's you again!
20. next It's raining, I like to walk in the rain with an umbrella, covering my head with an umbrella, so comfortable. As if the whole world is only you. Until I was hit by a motorcyclist...
21. So far, seven facts that the world has to admit, please don't be surprised. 1. Your neck can't turn twice. 2. You can't count how many hairs you have. 3. You cannot breathe through your nose when you stick out your tongue. 4. You are doing the third one. 5. When you are doing the third, you actually think it is feasible, but you will look like a puppy. 6. You are laughing now, because I fixed you. 7. It was rounded up.
span_p3
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